Writing Forums

Writing Forums is a privately-owned, community managed writing environment. We provide an unlimited opportunity for writers and poets of all abilities, to share their work and communicate with other writers and creative artists. We offer an experience that is safe, welcoming and friendly, regardless of your level of participation, knowledge or skill. There are several opportunities for writers to exchange tips, engage in discussions about techniques, and grow in your craft. You can also participate in forum competitions that are exciting and helpful in building your skill level. There's so much more for you to explore!

Call the Name of the Harbinger (1 Viewer)

MikeDwight

Senior Member
Purposefully obscure around the edges, Darkkin? I find myself looking at horns, and hooves, and outlines in a dark environment looking at portions and parts of a whole... What did the tree help him get the rain that kept darkness?
 

Darkkin

WF Veterans
Unfortunately your reply makes absolutely no sense. What did the tree help him get rain that kept darkness? What precisely does that mean? I don't know if you are being sarcastic about the piece, if english is a second language, or if your thought is out pacing your typing? Either way please read your reply aloud to yourself and see if it makes sense to you, if not, kindly rephrase so readers can comprehend what you are asking.

The premise of the poem is very basic. Trapped animal facing death. Maybe google unicorn folklore. It might help, as elements of this piece are drawn from that lore. It's a simple fairy tale. Understand the unicorn to understand the piece. There is a reason Einstein encouraged the reading of fairy tales...for some they will forever be an impossibility because they are naught but nonsense.

Cheers.

- D.
 
Last edited:

MikeDwight

Senior Member
What then... Did the tree help the unicorn get rainclouds that kept up darkness? You're minimizing now the visualization of the poem?
 

Darkkin

WF Veterans
How would a tree summon clouds? That is totally illogical...

Main Subject, Trapped Animal: Bicorn, horn stuck in tree. (The tree representing the embodiment of an inescapable consequence, thus its entrapment of the Harbinger's horn.)

Threat: Coming light of day will destroy Bicorn.

Problem: Horn cannot be pulled from tree, despite numerous attempts. Bicorn exhausted.

Time is running out...but a storm blows in...buying time. Yeah nature! Rain when you need it.

A brutal decision. The tree won't yield, but bone will break...A hope against hope in order to survive. (Something this creature should not be able to do, but does, given his nature. See S12 -14). Also see Dickenson, Hope is a Thing With Feathers...

And act of faith, sinner to repenter...a splice. One horn trapped, one still free.

Break off one horn. One horn of two left in tree. The second remains on the head of the Harbinger. What remains, a literal unicorn...a monster healed by the very properties of his grievous wound. Freed by an act of faith. Sins washed away by blood and rain. (See S21, L3). Very basic. Do not over think it. That is not how nonsense works, but that is why it is a difficult concept for some.
 
Last edited:

Gumby

Staff member
Co-Owner
It's a lovely tale of hope, triumph over seemingly insurmountable odds and repentance born of gratefulness and a second chance. The Bicorn, now a Unicorn. As always a wonderful story with a beautiful moral. Something that is so often missing in today's world.

Eyes dark and deep as a newborn sky,------I thought this was a beautiful description.
lifted, voiced a song of gentle penance,
sins washed away as the clouds cried.
 

rcallaci

Staff member
Administrator
What can I say that I've already said. Your technical skills are amazing as well as your storytelling. This piece doesn't disappoint. Always loved unicorns, have a tattoo of one on my arm. She asked me to tell you that you are a hero of hers - you give voice to all the unicorns... This origin story of how a bicorn became unicorn is harrowing as well as enchanting. Brava

warmest
bob
 

midnightpoet

WF Veterans
Darkkin: To those of us who have read your poetry from the beginning this one is completely enchanting, and I see a progression from your earlier poetry and you have expanded your horizons poetry wise. Often it is true, one should read widely in a poet's work to better appreciate the nuances of the individual poem.
 

rcallaci

Staff member
Administrator
What then... Did the tree help the unicorn get rainclouds that kept up darkness? You're minimizing now the visualization of the poem?

It seems that you are as troll- You are not amusing, in fact you are a bore. This is a writing site not your playground, stop hy-jackin this thread with your nonsense. I'm saying this not as a member but as a moderator and admin. If you persist with your blather then I'd recommend that you go elsewhere before we give a boot to your ass. I gave you the benefit of the doubt but you're wearing my patience thin. 1st Warning
 
Last edited:

Darkkin

WF Veterans
It seems that you are as troll- You are not amusing, in fact you are a bore. This is a writing site not your playground, stop hy-jackin this thread with your nonsense. I'm saying this not as a member but as a moderator and admin. If you persist with your blather then I'd recommend that you go elsewhere before we give a boot to your ass. I gave you the benefit of the doubt but you're wearing my patience thin. 1st Warning

The last troll that crossed Harbinger did not have a happy outcome. In point of fact, his whole origin stems from a troll's attack upon a unicorn. :rolleyes: That piece is truly a delightful symphony of chaos and gore. The irony, here is not lost.

- D.
 

MikeDwight

Senior Member
I never could have Expected everyone's reaction to the 1st adventerous post, accompanied by a thorough read of the original post, where I posited to the mysterious circumstances of the poem that , we know the beast is desirous of rainclouds, that it is hurt by sunlight, that it somehow then ended up near a tree, I didn't catch that part, and that the fiddling with the tree was helping it out with its end objectives, apparently its caught as he more fully described, and its very stationary talk, in fact I imagined it in flight with the clouds and all.
 

Darkkin

WF Veterans
Try rereading S 4 -7

Harbinger, (once cloven and bihorned—) Indicating a time in the past...not present, seque to the story of his fight for his life.
he of darkest sin and covetous heart,
whose freedom came with bones torn.

His prison an ageless evergreen tree (Right here)
whose, pith, pitch, and pulp bound
a beast by his horn, unable to flee…

Steadfast held the rings, grown true
so they kept him, a lover’s embrace
as worn night ceded to dawning blue.

And for Harbinger dawn was doom, (And here)
that starbright trace across his hide
would turn him to a cindered plume. (Final result)

(These stanzas clearly stated that the tree held his horn and light would destroy him.)

I can give line by line breakdown to clarify, but this is not the appropiate venue for that (which would be the workshop)....Not the first time I have defended work against obtuse rhetoric. And decent writing is easy to defend. As to the purpose of the piece, it is described clearly in the title. Call the name of the Harbinger. He was named (Cain), thusly the purpose of the piece was fulfilled...(How he came to have his name...).

References for Cain and his element:

https://www.writingforums.com/threads/170634-The-Element-of-Cain?highlight=The+Element+of+Cain

https://www.writingforums.com/threads/189588-Covet-the-Rain?highlight=The+Element+of+Cain

How he end up stuck in that tree, another story. (Nine the Rampant holds the answers to that.)
What happened after, also another story. (See reference in S2, Star Socks Fox keeps that secret.)

And Violet Bright knows the entire saga.

There is much more to the story, but as this small section was too complex, I do not have an obligation to further confuse an already addled reader. Any further issues, please take it to a PM or report it to a moderator.

Please note that while I might write about unicorns and rain, I am not inarticulate.

Cheers.

- D.
 
Last edited:

MikeDwight

Senior Member
If I appeared annoying insensitive as is the definition of obtuse , I held no intention for it in wondrous question, yes its the showcase rather than the workshop. Wouldn't it slightly suggest that eloquent language then to prevent further inquiry would be more clear about this is a scene you'll never visualize ever again in your life for any reason, a horned animal stuck in a tree?
 

Darkkin

WF Veterans
Do you actually read what you post? Autofill's guesses are more coherent and logical. Either directly address the piece, with examples of what does not work and why or please exit the thread. Because currently you are spewing gibberish (might be a dialect of gobbledygook). And if a post is offensive, feel free to report it. (That would be the triangle with (!). First button on the bottom.)

...eloquent language then to prevent further inquiry would be more clear...(As this clearly makes perfect sense.)

^This line is Obtuse: difficult to comprehend [/FONT]: [FONT=&Verdana]not clear or precise in thought or expression (Definition 2b of Merriam-Websters)

An example of inane babble...(e.g. Gollum's utterances during his torture by the orcs.)

As eloquent means: clearly expressing or indicating something. (Definition 2, Oxford English Dictionary)...'You keep using that word and I do not think it means, what you think it means.' -Inigo Mantoya, Princess Bride

Returning to Harbinger, he is no longer trapped, but his story does continue, so I do keep working with him. Thus I have a use for my scene, and as it is fiction, it can happen. (Parallels in nature, hmm, deer with antlers tangled in trees or locked together. Yes, they do have skeletal proof of such happenings.)

As you have such an poor opinion of the piece. Write it as it should be, since I did it incorrectly, and have it workshopped. Critique on the correct poem should prove enlightening. Thus far, my posts with annotated context have not failed to illustrate their intended purpose. What has failed is the acknowledgement of the aforementioned explanations.

And just from a readers's standpoint...You struggle with severe overwriting, trying so hard to sound impressive you become incoherent. It is not just the posts in this thread. Try reading aloud and listen to how your posts sound. They have provided a good laugh on my end. Add in the overdramatic voices and gestures and it becomes excellent theatre.

Please note: That as this is a writing forum, you will be weighed and measured by your writing. Thus far it is underwhelming, I'm guessing due to a lack of basic proofreading. Read aloud, it will help. :-k

Do not feed the troll....
 
Last edited:
Top