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Butterfly with a Broken Wing (1 Viewer)

ritudimrinautiyal

Senior Member
Butterfly with a Broken Wing

Caterpillar crawling
Struggling
Cocooned
Surrounded by Darkness
Cannot move
I struggle
I fight
I finally break free
I am free
I am freeeee
Am I free?

First light of sun
First kiss of rain
Amazed at how much I’ve changed
No longer crawling
No longer enclosed
I hop from flower to flower
Fluttering my good wing
I can’t believe I’ve made it
I can’t believe how far I’ve come
But the others…
All they see is
A Butterfly with a Broken Wing

They point
They laugh
They whisper
And my eyes are drawn
To those who fly
Smoothly beneath the summer sky
So beautiful
So elegant
So Free
Some point
They laugh
…at me
They don’t see the struggle
Or the obstacles overcome
To them I am deformed
Not fully transformed
So they poke…fun
At that which they do not understand
Because all they see is
A Butterfly with a Broken Wing

…and I cringe
I shudder
I whisper
I hide
I want to go back inside
Time passes
Now, all I see
All I am
is
A Butterfly with a Broken Wing

Hi Happy
Profound imagery for the feelings. The transformation of butterfly from caterpillar to butterfly,a long awaited thing for caterpillar, to feel the world as freedom, out of cocoon. And the world placed in front of you more difficult form of vulnerability.
Really shaked me inside.

Thanks for the read.
Keep writing.
All the very good luck.
Ritu
 
Hi Happy
Profound imagery for the feelings. The transformation of butterfly from caterpillar to butterfly,a long awaited thing for caterpillar, to feel the world as freedom, out of cocoon. And the world placed in front of you more difficult form of vulnerability.
Really shaked me inside.


Keep writing.
All the very good luck.
Ritu

Thanks for the read. I appreciate it.
 

TheMightyAz

Staff member
Mentor
Caterpillar crawling
Struggling
Cocooned
Surrounded by Darkness
Cannot move
I struggle
I fight
I finally break free
I am free
I am freeeee
Am I free?

First light of sun
First kiss of rain
Amazed at how much I’ve changed
No longer crawling
No longer enclosed <- You've echoed back to 'crawling' but then picked a different word for 'cocooned' I'd use cocooned.
I hop from flower to flower
Fluttering my good wing
I can’t believe I’ve made it
I can’t believe how far I’ve come
But the others…
All they see is
A Butterfly with a Broken Wing

They point
They laugh
They whisper
And my eyes are drawn
To those who fly
Smoothly beneath the summer sky
So beautiful
So elegant
So Free
Some point
They laugh
…at me
They don’t see the struggle
Or the obstacles overcome
To them I am deformed
Not fully transformed
So they poke…fun
At that which they do not understand
Because all they see is
A Butterfly with a Broken Wing

…and I cringe
I shudder
I whisper
I hide
I want to go back inside
Time passes
Now, all I see
All I am
is
A Butterfly with a Broken Wing

This is a very similar theme to my 'Coats For Wings' so I felt it fiercely.
 

TheMightyAz

Staff member
Mentor
Thank you for taking the time to read and comment. I took your suggestion and changed in the original post (It does seem to read better). Is your 'coat for wings' on here?

I don't think it is, come to think of it. I've posted two now so I'll wait a while to post that up. I think you'll relate to it.
 
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