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Bubbles (1 Viewer)

I might not have been in this world long but from what I can understand, life’s a bubble.

The whole world revolves around each one of us...
We take the good..
We take the bad..

Each person we touch can either bring us together or tear us apart..
Sometimes we desperately miss those people.
So we send them a message like a gust of wind only hoping that they drift back to us..

So we can explain..
Why..
Why we miss them..
Explain our mistakes and our understanding..
People Change..
at least I did..

I miss you more than words can comprehend .. Your my biggest regret..
 

2020Syd2020

Senior Member
Hello,

I like the central idea of bubbles and their transitory nature, this fits in with the nature of humanity and our limited time on earth. Which is what I think you’re trying to get at?

Again, I think you have a series of statements rather than a poem. Structurally I find the lineation throughout to be arbitrary, I feel like you need to decide from the start whether you want longer flowing lines or shorter more choppy lines and run with it, maybe not from start to finish but it needs to be consistent because when you do suddenly move from short to long, or long to short it creates impact.

Hope this helps

Cheers

Syd
 
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