Writing Forums

Writing Forums is a privately-owned, community managed writing environment. We provide an unlimited opportunity for writers and poets of all abilities, to share their work and communicate with other writers and creative artists. We offer an experience that is safe, welcoming and friendly, regardless of your level of participation, knowledge or skill. There are several opportunities for writers to exchange tips, engage in discussions about techniques, and grow in your craft. You can also participate in forum competitions that are exciting and helpful in building your skill level. There's so much more for you to explore!

Boone's Farm (1 Viewer)

Undercover

Senior Member
This gives me a 1920s vibe or like something western. I like it and can see it clearly in my mind. Enjoyed.
 

Darkkin

WF Veterans
From a readers's standpoint, this one missed the mark. It came across more as a mindless act of violence someone tried to adorn with word chioce that doesn't quite jive. Almost like the rest of the story got misplaced somewhere along the line. The nature based word choices spume, mountain air, fulsume gap (I could get into the limited mechanics of the human jaw and why it doesn't equate fulsome, but that is workshop, not showcase discussion) are at odds with the scene. (They're great words, but not a very good fit with their nouns. e.g. A smaller person who really loves wearing big, bold prints. But the prints because they are so big and bold swallow the actual person.). It lacks the congruence of nature's own balance of elements. A propensity for violence but a stunning beauty all its own.

Look for more balance between the pragmatic, (death) and the nearly purple prose ( the gore). There is no reason given as to why Bill had to die, no resolution. If this had been fleshed out more it might work, but the balance of elements was too skewed. A bit too Louis L'amour sideswiped a box grater. There are element that by themselves work, but together struggle to work cohesively.

Look up Marty Robbin's song Big Iron. It is a very good example of a balanced narrative.
 
Last edited:
Top