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Bones in the Candle Light (1 Viewer)

Grimus

Member
Everything it was you are
Everything you see you'll be
Separate paths but walked
Seen the stars and noticed


Sweet summer breeze, the fruit of trees
Ground under feet
Take a breath and hold it.


The joy of sleep, and sadness weep
a chilling pause of complex notice.
A wound for ache, unselfish sakes
Who made the now?
Unknown authors wrote it.


The elements that reign
Will always have their say
We're just in the way
Bones in the candle light


The flesh will crawl away
to the soil where it stays
and the shadows cast by day
are just bones in the candle light


And the shift in the shadows change


And the shift in the shadows change


And the Shift in the shadows change


The shift in the shadows change
Bringing life to the remains
They watch us in our cage
And know what what we've decoded


The elements that reign
Will let them have their say
But many look away
Just bones in the candle light
 

Annie. Marie

Senior Member
I loved this so much. I think you have a great writing style and an amazing use of words. The repetition was properly placed. The imagery was great. I'd love to see this as a video or in spoken word.
My favorite stanza:

"The flesh will crawl away
to the soil where it stays
and the shadows cast by day
are just bones in the candle light"

Great job!


-Annie
 

Firemajic

Poetry Mentor
Staff member
Senior Mentor
LOOOOVE, love, love this! Fabulous imagery... bones in the candle- light... you did with ease, the thing some poets forget... imagery... Imagery sets the mood, SHOWS your reader, shares with your reader... fabulous work! Thank you for sharing... ;)
 
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