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Autobiography of myself (1 Viewer)



I have to do this for school, and I wanted to know if it was funny, but not so funny that it becomes completly retarted, and upsets my teacher

also note that I know there are many errors, but its not a turn in grade, its a read out loud thing.

AutoBiography of: Jeremy Honaker

Yelling, screaming, balling, and kicking, I sprang into this world, which would betray me. My first memory was around the age of 3 or 4. I remember a book my mother would read me, and for some reason I would allways fall asleep before the ending.... Today I found this very book, titled My Baby You'll Be. The most remembered thing about it was the line it would say, "I'll like you forever, I'll love you for always, as long as I'm living my baby you'll be."
I attended a christain school for a full kindergarten year, at the Keen Mountain Christan School. I learned the basics such as how to tie my shoes, how to anger christian school teachers, my ABC's and my numbers and so on and so forth, but I also remember most of all pretending to play a power ranger in class, bursting into class with my underware atop my head, with my arms stretched infront of me, pretending to fly. I was quite a handful, my mother says, and I must agree.
After attending a christan school for a year, my mother decided to enroll me in kindergarten for another year at a public school. The first day was utter chaos, children jumping around the room, cries for mothers shreiking into your ear's, and barks and other animal noises were being made by the roudy kindergardeners. I don't remember crying for my mother, nor being mean at all for that mater at Whitewood kindergarten. My teacher was Mrs. Goss, a stern strict teacher who you had to admire for putting up with so much retarted crap over the years. Ah the kindergarden years, when life was easy, and simple. We would pretend to be in highschool doing work, or pretend like we were getting into fights..... then we went to highschool..... and got into real fights...... and now I wonder why I use to spend my time playing something as useless as that.... I do however remember a certain Adam Looney in my kindergarden class, who loved to color everything blue..... roses.... horses... mice.. himself.... the teacher.. he apparently loved that color. I always tried to be quite the talkative type, and tried to entertain people, as much as possible.
First grade was a big leap for me because it finally seemed like I was enrolled in an actuall lagetamite school program, without toys or nap time (but now I wonder who decided to cutt nap time out for us!) My teacher was Ms.Blankenship, or as I called her, Ms.Grouchy. The most common phrase I found myself using with her was, "But the glue was in my hair when I got here this morning!" And the most uncomon thing I heard from her was, "Good job." I made my second friend in 1st grade who's name was Cody Cantrell. The first day, I remember our introduction to each other, he was setting either behind me or infront of me, and looked at me saying, "Hi im cody, whats your name?" Pretty much from there on out it was me and him playing some crazy game at recess, that seemed to infuriate the teachers.... Calvin Day was one of my other best friends, and we are still pretty tight today, but in our elementary years Cody, Calvin, and I were either the 3 musketeers or the 3 stuges, I can't figure out which one fits us best.
In second grade I obtained my first Honorable Mention, which sent me home crying my eyes out, Hiding on the top bunk of my bed, because I was allways a straight 100 student so seeing 2 B's on my report card was the biggest shocker of my young life, other than figuring out the big difference between girls and boys. My teacher was Ms.Crigger, and I always seemed to disagree with her, yet I enjoyed her as a teacher at the same time... but like I said those were the years when everything was so simple!
In the third grade, I probably obtained my most memorable teacher, Ms.Lester. She was whacky, funny, and just a fun teacher to have. We mostly focused our attention on projects in that class, along with games, and toys..... am I describing kindergarten again? Nope far as I can remember this was how it was with Ms.Lester.
Fourth grade was the big time, I was at a new school with new kids, and a new teacher. Ms.Belcher was on one of my most disliked teachers lists, but dont worry she was the most LIKED teacher on the list. I learned my multipaction tables there, or at least a portion of them, and still cant figure out some of that stuff to this day.... I bet its because 3rd grade might as well have been kindergarten! without the freaking nap time! HONESTLY WHO DECIDED TO CUT THAT OUT!? I also made some friends from the garden area, such as Jordan Sanders, and we are still friends today, unless a fight happens after I write this, so in that case, we are still friends on today the date of 8/19/05.
5th grade........ I dont even like to take this trip into my memory, because things that make me angry tend to fade out..... If the school was on fire, you would hear, "Evaquate the building, there is a raging fire that the fire department belives was created by small homeade bomb.... with that being said, jeremy honaker report to the principales office." I hated everyone of my teachers except for Ms.Boyd, who is still on my most disliked teachers list, so I hope that paints a picture for you (and if not, than you must have had troube passing the 5th grade) I was kicked out of school over false objections for saying that god didnt exsist or some bull crap like that, and Ms.Rattliff swore on her name as a woman that I said it...... well that cleared things up about her really quick...... First of all let me take this oppertunity to say, that the whole accusation thing is bull crap, and I want to clear something up, I said that most of the christians at my church were Hippocritical, and nothing more that even reffered to religion. Now back on the subject that is going to anger me some more.... I didnt understand jack in 5th grade mostly because I was at the house on a suspension notice for something retarted that didnt even happen in the first place, and when trying to discribe that I didnt do it they would somehow find a way to screw up what I said and twist it into there own little fairy tale..... At this time I was sure that 5th grade teachers must have it tough because obviously they all acted like they were on pain killers!
6th grade didnt go so well either, I was failing the duration of the year, but it also gave me my most HATED TEACHER OF ALL TIME- EZRA DAVIS! I didnt learn jack squat in his class, but I did find out how mean you have to be to make a priest curse! err, back on subject, I had my most favorite teachers that year aside, Mr.Mullins, and Pat Karty. I would have to say I learned the most in mr.Mullins's class, but was pushed the most in ms.Karties class. I passed that year without having to stress to much but I honestly could have done way beter in mr.davis's class.... well i betcha I could have pulled that 0 avarage on my report card all the way up to a 12!
7th grade....... Mr.Davis strikes back! I met the girl who I would love, and then hate, and lost all self dignity to anger, and pressure. Let me break it down for you, I didnt get suspended once until the last 6weeks..... then I beat up Matthew Eury for talking about my girlfriend.... then my girlfriend cheated on me... then I ran away from school for some unaparent reason.... and then I was put into night school with your favorite teacher and mine, Mr.Wimmer. I passed my SOL's with a 490 or something like that, and I actually have to give credit to Mr.Mullins for that because if you saw my civics grade..... you would know I didnt get my Know How from that class.
I spent most of my summer chilling out on the couch watching tv naked sitting in a bean bag eating cheeto's, but what ever. I just recently quit playing an online game, that stole my social life, and my soul..... and my brain cells...... and my eye sight..... and all dignity to self.... plus the added injustice of knowing that I was in love with a game......
I attend 4-H camp normally In the summers, and stuff like that, and always go to the yearly county fair.
I am currently in the 8th grade, spending most of my time rebelling against my parents, and trying not to get eaten by the seniors. I am going to try my best to pass with flying colors this year.... and not even get suspended ONCE!
I would like to end my autobiography by saying...
"When life hands you lemons, throw them back in lifes hands, and say IM SICK OF YOUR FRIGGIN' LEMONS!"


Senior Member
i suggest you break this up into paragraphs, if you want folks to read it and comment... posting loses indents, so you have to double space everywhere you had an indent...

fyi, an AUTObiography is always of the person writing it, so adding 'myself' to the title is redundant... and didn't you mean 'bawling' [crying] instead of 'balling'?... that's all i noticed before giving up due to the solid block structure of the post... i'll be glad to give it a good look, after you divvy it up...


you're good

you seem to write well and have intrinsic knowledge of yourself...this good.

i would have to agree that unless it is double spaced/broken up i can not lend my self to reading the entire litegy of you tying your shoes...
Let me just say that I LOVE the book My Baby You'll Be. Wow I was so happy when I saw that in your auto, I had to continue to the end. My mommy used to sing that line that you mentioned to me before I went to sleep... Aww she made up a tune and everything... Sigh.

Ok I'm back, sorry. As for your essay itself, as you mentioned at the beginning, it has a LOT of spelling/grammer mistakes. I tried my best to overlook them, and I'm sorry for nagging, but it was a real annoyance as I read it. O well, you're reading it out loud.

While I found it a tad tedious when you explained every single grade, I suppose that's kind of hard to avoid in SCHOOL work. None of my school work is ever as good as my normal writing, so I don't blame you in the least.

I think presented it's a pretty good story, although if you ever ask someone to read it I suggest you fix the mistakes... So good job, sort of. :)



God lives in ...

An autobiography is always about yourself, otherwise it is called a biography.
If I was your teacher I would be looking to read about the events that were really formative for you, and I would like you to trace from the event to the present. It doesn't have to be a wild tale ' I never was the same after that summer!' Tm. For example, tying your shoelaces is hard when you first learn, but now you can do it without thinking. It is interesting to hear how we push back our comfort zones to face challenges, be the shoe laces or Metric Spaces in math. It all starts off hard.
So, push back that comfort zone, and show us what you can do!