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Any ideas? (1 Viewer)

Babylonkid

Senior Member
Those are both good ideas. Gaining power fits my story more, I dont really have a financial/commercial gain angle. This makes me think of all these movies like Hercules, Conan, Prince Of Persia, ect... they never have money. You never see them purchase anything. Food, water, ect...
 

Babylonkid

Senior Member
"Peace" is a fantastic thought and because my hero is good and his antagonist is evil, the hero will bring peace to the empire after he defeats the villain.
Yes, the almight are the Mesopotamian gods. Mainly Sumerian, Assyrian, and Babylonian. I have 2 factions. Those in favor of humans, and those who are not. But we dont see or hear from the gods for a while. Its mostly the good and bad guys searching for the fragments and throughout this epic journey (Lord Of the Rings style) we get small samples of them gods either in battle or assisting the hero.

When I started writing this story I had in mind a beginning, middle and end. I wrote the opening scene so fast. The birth of the demi god, the location, the enemies that invade, the key characters...but this darn "embedding the fragement" idea has really stopped my progress. Ive been stuck on it for a long time.
 

Babylonkid

Senior Member
I like where you are going with this. But I already have the information which is to be embedded in the new borns mind. My problem is I cant think of a way to use this info in the future because it is 1 piece of a whole ancient tablet. Once all the fragments are put together to create the whole tablet, you will become almighty. But since you only have 1 piece, and you dont even know its in your brain because you were a baby...I dont know how to call back to it in the future. And I dont want to give up on this idea.
 

Olly Buckle

Mentor
Patron
I like where you are going with this. But I already have the information which is to be embedded in the new borns mind. My problem is I cant think of a way to use this info in the future because it is 1 piece of a whole ancient tablet. Once all the fragments are put together to create the whole tablet, you will become almighty. But since you only have 1 piece, and you dont even know its in your brain because you were a baby...I dont know how to call back to it in the future. And I dont want to give up on this idea.

Now that is clear I see it as finding a way to bring the other fragments together in his presence as though by chance. Then when he sees them his mind throws up the missing piece which has been lying dormant waiting for that moment.
 

Taylor

Friends of WF
"Peace" is a fantastic thought and because my hero is good and his antagonist is evil, the hero will bring peace to the empire after he defeats the villain.
Yes, the almight are the Mesopotamian gods. Mainly Sumerian, Assyrian, and Babylonian. I have 2 factions. Those in favor of humans, and those who are not. But we dont see or hear from the gods for a while. Its mostly the good and bad guys searching for the fragments and throughout this epic journey (Lord Of the Rings style) we get small samples of them gods either in battle or assisting the hero.

When I started writing this story I had in mind a beginning, middle and end. I wrote the opening scene so fast. The birth of the demi god, the location, the enemies that invade, the key characters...but this darn "embedding the fragement" idea has really stopped my progress. Ive been stuck on it for a long time.

It is an interesting idea, and obviously fascinates you, so it would be an important aspect of your voice as a writer, so I would keep looking for a solution. I think the answer will come to you. Remember good things are not always easy! Have you made any progress?
 

Babylonkid

Senior Member
Alternatively, if it's not something meant to affect the baby and rather is more like a piece of information to be regained at a later time, let me know and I'll brainstorm that idea too.


Hello again. I was just wondering if you had some time to give this another thought.
This info embedded in the childs mind is 1 fragment of an ancient tablet. Whoever has the tablet will rule. So the bad guy finally finds the baby, but its been 25 years. Im happy to answer any questions that might give you ideas to help me.

Thank you!
 
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MistWolf

Senior Member
Hell's Bells! What couldn't I do with a character like this!

Obviously, the tablet grants or is the key to unlocking great power, something so devastating that some hero/greater power sacrificed everything after a long, grueling quest to keep from falling into the hands of the Dark One.

The tablet was broken into seven pieces and each given to one of seven trusted guardians and scattered throughout the world/cosmos (depending on the scale the story takes place). Each guardian has a lifespan of many millennia. This should give everyone time to find The Ultimate Solution. Alas, this is not to be as the Dark One proves to be an ever tenacious and implacable foe. Before they die, each guardian must find and train a new guardian to take their place to keep the pieces safe from falling into the Dark One's clutches.

One guardian found themself on a quiet backwater planet, far from the intrigues of cosmic beings. The guardian is dying. The journey to this planet was long and exhausting. After years of searching, the only suitable apprentice would be the future offspring of the king and queen of Babylon. The guardian becomes court magician. However, the guardian has less time than thought and before dying, must transfer the fragment to the unborn babe, no time time for training or to perform the proper rituals protecting the fragment from detection during transfer from old guardian to new.

Thankfully, the time of transfer is brief. The old guardian is confident it's too brief to catch the attention of the Dark One or his minions.

Unfortunately, at least one current guardian is a minion of the Dark One...

All guardians are trained to access the knowledge of the tablet. However, that knowledge is limited to the knowledge of each fragment. As the babe has never received training, it's access to the knowledge is uncontrolled and- well, fragmented. The unwitting guardian is unaware of the flashes of insight they sometimes receive until another guardian confronts them. But is this a True Guardian? Or a Black Guardian, a minion of the Dark One that, through subterfuge, gained guardianship of a fragment?
 
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Babylonkid

Senior Member
That was great. Had a happy smile reading your post. So helpful.

I want to tell you more. Your idea of the guardians is excellent. These royal priests, warriors and wizards, are called the Sacred Seven. 2 of the 7 are the kings advisors. I wrote them as protectors of the kingdom/empire, but your idea as guardians of the tablet is much better. Id like to use your idea and have them be both. Tablet and kingdom protectors. The story takes place on earth, in ancient Mesopotamia mostly and we do not go off planet even though the Tablet came from the cosmos. To sum up the beginning, during the birth of the prophesized demi-god, a small group of soldiers invade for 2 reasons. First, to kill the baby. I dont have a strong grasp on how prophesies work in these fantasy stories. But the evil god foretells everything. Second, to cause a distraction so the trader, or as you nicely put it, the minion of the Dark One, can steal the tablet. The Tablet has been locked away in a secret chamber somewhere in the TOB by the great god Marduk. Our hero god. His uncle Enlil is the villain god. We dont see them much. The birth takes place in the main chamber of the Tower Of Babel. Im a little stuck here because if it is a prophecy type thing then shouldnt everyone know about it? How much should everyone know? What should everyone know? What I have so far is after the king is alerted of the invasion, he tells his Sacred Seven they must get the Tablet, break it apart in to 7 fragments, and scatter it. 5 of the 7 priests have instructions handed to them by king Marduk on where to go and hide their fragment. So they go on their quest, not to be seen for 25 years. The 2 main priests, the advisors, stay behind. One of them happens to be the Dark One's minion. The other priest saves the baby during the battle. But I dont have a good reason for them to stay behind except the evil minion kills the king during this battle and crowns himself king. But why does the king ask these 2 to stay? And does the good priest see the evil one kill the king? So much. And the whole embedding the fragment in the babies mind. My plan was that during the battle the good priest would embed his fragment in to the babies mind. Immediately after he is attacked and he loses his fragment which is picked up by the evil minion trader and now the evil one has 2 fragments out of the 7. Oh man. And how does he learn of the location of the remaining 5. The baby is now 25 years old...and something is drawing him to the location of the remaining fragments. But what? Is it the fragment in his mind? If so, how come the now evil king who has 2 fragments...or better yet his all powerful god Enlil know the location of the fragments. Dang!

Thank you for taking the time to read my post and more thanks for helping me. To everyone chiming in, thank you so much.
 
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MistWolf

Senior Member
Feel free to use any ideas I give you for this story. The story doesn't have to have a prophecy.

Your version is good but puts a lot on your plate. Take a look and see what you can do to streamline it. Take it apart and lay a simple but solid foundation then build on that bit by bit. This has the potential for being at least a trilogy.
 

Babylonkid

Senior Member
You read my mind. A trilogy is what I inteded. Thank you so much.

Edit* What are your thoughts on the betrayer, the Dark Ones minion being the kings brother? I wanted to make the king a demi god too, but if theyre brothers then theyre both gods and the new born is also a demi god. Too many, maybe.
 
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MistWolf

Senior Member
You read my mind. A trilogy is what I inteded. Thank you so much.

Edit* What are your thoughts on the betrayer, the Dark Ones minion being the kings brother? I wanted to make the king a demi god too, but if theyre brothers then theyre both gods and the new born is also a demi god. Too many, maybe.
I wouldn't make the king a demi-god, nor would I make the traitor guardian his brother or the court magician, but it's not my story.

If you do make the king a demi-god, you'll need to kill him before his son comes of age.
 

Babylonkid

Senior Member
In the version I wrote I had the queen impregnated by one of the gods so the king is a mortal man. I can change the god but I went with the moon god Sin. The traitor guardian is not the kings brother.
On your point about a court magician... I did have all 7 guardians be at some level of magic. For example, the good guardian embeds his fragment in to the babies mind. And I want the good and bad guardians to be equal strength. The other 5 could be less.

Whether the king is or is not a demi-god, he is double crossed and killed by the evil guardian. His name is Aprim by the way which means "two faced". Sorry I hadn't mentioned this part before.

I struggled so long because I wanted the story to be accurate with the dates, places and peoples names. But then I thought, Im writing a fake story. Im not writing a history book. So its okay that somethings are not 100% accurate. A great example is my opening scene at the Tower of Babel where the baby is born. The big battle takes place inside, after the baby is born. The bad guardian kills the king and crowns himself. The good guardian saves the baby and takes him to the Lighthouse at Alexandria. Then Id think about if they both existed at the same time. The Lighthouse is ancient history but the Tower is much older if it even existed at all. Do all my places exist at the same time? If I go 1000BC Ill have the Tower that should exist (fact), the kings name is Ashurnasirpal II (fact), but I dont know his real name because when I reasearch the ancient kings we dont have records of their real names. They often changed it and usually its 2 or 3 parts. For example my king is Assur (the main god of the Assyrians) and Nasir-Apli (is guardian of their heir) which we translate to Ashurnasirpal. We know king Ashurnasirpal did not have a demi-god son, nor was he killed on the birth night of his son.

Thanks again for your time and help.
 

Babylonkid

Senior Member
Thank you. And sorry for missing your question. Still learning how to navigate this site. Yes, I have mad progress with everyones help. But I have also been confused and not satisfied with some of my ideas. Can you think of any story or movie that has a triggered call back type thing like I'm trying to do?
 

Babylonkid

Senior Member
"Peace" comes to mind. So then conceptualize seven major leadership decisions that if had occured in 1000BC would have created peace in modern time.

What is the trigger though? That would be where you as a writer use your creativity. Because he has no control over the trigger, it could be anything you want really. A certain type of bird that lands on the window sill. A particular snake that slithers through the room. I know for myself whenever the sky is a certain colour, sort of a smoky grey when the sun is trying to break through and just can't, it triggers strong memories for me.

But then I wonder if I am heading into a different direction than you intended with your concept. Have you already defined what the almighty cosmic and supreme is?
Thank you for helping, and I am sorry I missed replying. I tend to miss a lot.
You are not heading into a different direction. Yes, I have my almighty gods. They are an ancient race from another world.

I think I have my solution. Using the same "magic" that embedded the fragment, the "good" Asipu will trigger the young mans mind to uncover the fragment of the tablet. Now I have to figure out how we're going to see this fragment. If he closes his eyes type of thing, he will see it. Or is it a holograph that we can all see?
 

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