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An Aussie Wizard of Odd at last. (1 Viewer)



:-&G’day all. (I’m new to this so forgive me if I’ve left anyone out.)
I sent one of these off earlier, but when I put the money in the slot and pulled the handle, there was an ominous clunk and a wheel fell off. I don’t think the message was posted, so here’s hoping message V1.2 makes it.
Let’s get the introductions out the way.
The tag sown into the waistband of my undies suggests my name is Brandon Roberts. That sounds about right, so we’ll go with that shall we?
And yours...?
Roughly a foot taller than you and as heavy as both yourself and the person next to you, I am a rather ample individual best viewed from afar via wide-angle lens. Contemporary culture causes me no end of mirth and I’m often overcome with fits of giggling at its longer shopping hours, corporate mission statement and sponsor’s logo. Diagnosed with chronic nihilism in my late teens, I don’t believe in God, Karma, Globalisation, home remedy wart cures or Santa. (Well he started it. He didn’t believe in me first.)
A non-believer often labelled an agnostic, a heathen, an atheist and a sinner; being none too bothered with labels I prefer to think myself as simply being lightly salted. Casting a shadow any fashion conscious young rhinoceros would envy, I am similarly thick skinned and don’t dwell too much on what other folk might think. I find most don’t do it very often in any case.
An ill-mannered tradesman in a box factory by day, any spare nights going, I write novels and practice at international best selling authoring. A product of a collaboration between an emissary of the British Empire and a representative of colonial Australia, I am father to three bottomless pits and husband to a feisty red haired warrior queen. Until such time as I can afford to buy Tasmania, I reside in Elizabeth South Australia.
Been writing humorous far-fetched fiction for half a decade, first book (Three agendas and one slim hope – Zeus Publications - you can check out a chapter sample at Zeus’ website) was published in March, second undergoing fifth draft for interested party as you read this, and book three is forty thou into the first draft.
But enough about me, what are you wearing? Only pulling your leg.
Now seeing as this is a momentous occasion, I wouldn’t mind getting a photo to commemorate it. Can you all skrunch up close? Otherwise you’re not all going to fit.
That’s it... now say ‘Ah feel tha need fer cheese!’
Thank you, come again.
Big group hug,


Senior Member
Maaaaaaaaaaate! Nice intro and welcome to the forum! Post up some writing and I'll be happy to take a squiz at it.


Senior Member
Oh god you remind me of a character in koontz's odd thomas

that large man, peter.