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Alpha Males & Beta Crusades (1 Viewer)



This is an article I posted in my nlpweekly blog, and it got some interesting comments from readers. Thought about sharing it here to get your comments...


Alpha Males & Beta Crusades

Lately I read a post from a friend, claiming to be Beta-Male. He used to want to be Alpha-Male and tried more than enough to get there. Reality, as it does with every single person, hits back of course - an he remained as he used to be.

For those of you who are not familiar with the terms Alpha-Male or Beta-Male, I’ll put it in simple terms:

An Alpha-Male in humans, just like in the monkeys society, is the manly man, the leader, the guy every man listens to and every woman wants to get his attention.

A Beta-Male is all the rest. The geek, the clown, the outsider, the follower, the zombie, etc.

There are many works written on these two categories in social psychology. But mostly they are theoretical.

In this short article I am not going to give you techniques for becoming an Alpha Male or for diminishing the Beta Male within you. But I do want to give you some new perspectives on the subject, maybe ones that you can use to make these exact moves.

First we need to understand how does a man is being labeled with “Alpha” and another with “Beta”. What is it about a specific person that intuitively you categorize him to be a leader or a follower, an admired or an outsider?

Secondly, we will need to handle the question of a change. Can a Beta Loser become an Alpha Male in the same society? Can he achieve a higher social status without violence and physical superiority? Does he need to change countries, neighborhoods or just his work place for achieving such a momentum?

Let’s answer the second set of questions first.

There used to be a myth, that I constantly hear even today for some reason, saying - there is no second chance to first impression. The only people who don’t have a second chance to impress me are those who wrote this myth and preach it.

It is not true and not realistic to believe so. It’s a limiting belief above all, and more than so - it’s a lie and a cover up. By using this belief you may put yourself to make the best first impression you can make in each time, and that is perfectly fine - but you’ll put yourself into a Beta-Loser loop by messing up the first impression chance and never re-group your actions for the 2nd impression and 200th impression.

People are naïve and suspicious at the same time. People are occupied with their own problems, each on his own and in his/her own mind. If you consider that to be true, then your first impression is just one tiny happening in their multi-channel universe they call life.

“I thought he was a jerk at first, but then he did this nice thing for me, I never would expected it”… There’s no doubt you hear that one every once in a while in your coffee break.

“You know, she may look naïve but she’s a devil! You wouldn’t believe how wild she is”

“He’s not even close to what I first thought of him”

And so on.

People change perspectives. People change opinions. People change gender sometimes, but they will definitely change their first impressions. Because most people know that they’re only humans, and humans make mistakes in first impressions.

Beta-Losers go through their day thinking about the crusade. The crusade is in their minds. Someone is out there to get their reputation and morality down. Someone is out there to push their status as far down as possible. There’s a good reason for it - when we were children, the stronger and smarter were kings. The rest were not popular unless the kings approved.
When you’re an adult, however, kings and queens are not real anymore.

Some people were born leaders because they were raised to initiate and create, not just to follow orders. Some people were born to be Beta-Losers because nobody gave them permission to fail and enjoy it.

In between those there is no middle ground. Either you’re a leader right now or you’re not. The key is in the “right now”. People change, and leaders change too.

I’ve met some old friends of mine and was quite surprised. When we were younger we used to dream aloud and say the things we’re going to do. One of my friends is now a mid-level corporate employee, far away from realizing even one of his dreams. He used to be a leader.

Leadership is in the moment, not in the person. Take an imagined scenario - what if you cram 300 Alpha-Males, born leaders, in one room and give them a group assignment? What happens?

Now, the second part of it would be - what if you cram 3000 Beta-Crusade-Victims in one room and give them a group assignment? What is the difference between the two happenings?


Senior Member
you lost me with your lecturing posture, sorry to say... and i have no time to waste on writing that starts out telling me what it will be telling me, instead of just jumping in and telling me straight out...

secondly, i'm afraid the grammar is garbled in too many places to be making good sense... wording and sentence structure need a lot of work... if you'd like examples, just let me know, but you should be able to find most of the most glaring goofs with a good proofread...

love and hugs, maia


Senior Member
hmmm, i agree with maia on all counts.

maybe its just a result of grammatical screwyness, but this reads pretty incoherently. from what i can tell, you arent arguing anything in particular. your thoughts on alpha-maleness and betas border on broad generalizations without much evidence to support them. and your conclusion seems to hint that the beta is somehow superior to the alpha, which seems really disjointed, given the rest of the piece.