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Adultery; (1 Viewer)

Pluralized

Black Dracula
WF Veterans
lol. yeah. i even see advertisements for "adultery dating sites" now. this world has totally lost its moral compass.

Dude, that's been the case for a long time. People have been sneaking away and copulating and fornicating and generally drooling on each other in all manner of situations since the advent of the boner.
 

Pluralized

Black Dracula
WF Veterans
It's just a thought.

And a delicious one!

Too bad it'll wreck your life for just a few minutes of excitement. In that way sex/lust is kinda like heroin. Instant gratification, then years trying to repair the damage. Or death by shotgun.
 

dale

Senior Member
Dude, that's been the case for a long time. People have been sneaking away and copulating and fornicating and generally drooling on each other in all manner of situations since the advent of the boner.

to be honest, my opinion on it is that getting married over infatuation is a relatively recent notion. people really didn't go out and get married just for love and infatuation until the 20th century. before that? it was more about bloodlines and patriarchal family planning. it's why the adultery and divorce rates are sky high. love and infatuation are fleeting, unlike family and bloodline planning. people seem to have this insane notion nowadays that life is all about their own selfish happiness. but happiness itself is rather hard to hold onto consistently. people marry now thinking that brand new hormonal based passion is supposed to last forever. welp....hate to break the reality down on those fools....but it doesn't. people are making a mistake getting married for those reasons.
 

dither

Member
WF Veterans
And a delicious one!

Too bad it'll wreck your life for just a few minutes of excitement. In that way sex/lust is kinda like heroin. Instant gratification, then years trying to repair the damage. Or death by shotgun.

So true.
 

Pluralized

Black Dracula
WF Veterans
to be honest, my opinion on it is that getting married over infatuation is a relatively recent notion. people really didn't go out and get married just for love and infatuation until the 20th century. before that? it was more about bloodlines and patriarchal family planning. it's why the adultery and divorce rates are sky high. love and infatuation are fleeting, unlike family and bloodline planning. people seem to have this insane notion nowadays that life is all about their own selfish happiness. but happiness itself is rather hard to hold onto consistently. people marry now thinking that brand new hormonal based passion is supposed to last forever. welp....hate to break the reality down on those fools....but it doesn't. people are making a mistake getting married for those reasons.


Yeah, and the population is also six or seven times what it was in the 1800s. Lots more folk to get hitched. Also they didn't have virtual imagery, for the most part, and had to generally work from sunup to sundown and produce as many kids as possible to help with the farming. These days everything's about convenience, and marriage is largely inconvenient by design. :)

I would disagree that love and infatuation are fleeting -- infatuation, yes. Love is much stronger in my experience, when you know that's what it is...
 

Pluralized

Black Dracula
WF Veterans
these days everything is about abstraction and distraction.

True, but there are still people getting married because they love each other and actually sticking to monogamy. The stats are what they are, but there will always be a contingent of folk that think marriage makes sense. :)

When I was younger I vowed I'd never get married (child of three divorces here) but somehow when I met my wife, it just progressed naturally and getting hitched was the right move. Never cheated on her in fifteen years, either (and opportunities have arisen numerous times).

Is it adultery if you make out with a dude? Kidding.
 

shadowwalker

WF Veterans
Having seen the effects of adultery close-up, I have nothing but contempt for those who "stray" (such a quaint word for such treachery). Is it 'only human'? A lot of base behaviors are 'only human' but the vase majority of humans do not allow them to take over and destroy lives. Knowing someone has cheated tells me they are willing to ignore promises and integrity for selfish interests - if they will do that to their partner, why would I want any kind of trust-based relationship with them?
 

Kevin

WF Veterans
One should only marry for money and political alliance... unless you're poor, in which case romantic attachment might suffice, though efforts at marrying up should still be foremost. One might always have dalliances, the houses, or, if one is supplied well enough, a mistress.

I think what has been lost is the value of discretion. This happened over the last century.
 

Phil Istine

Staff member
Global Moderator
I'm sure things must have been simpler way back when our cells simply divided. I suppose I have never committed adultery on the basis that I've never been married. I have lived in a couple of what I regarded as committed relationships though (not at the same time I might add).
The first ended when we both went through big changes and our perspectives on life changed. As partings go, that was very adult and respectful - though still painful.
The second ended when I was banished to sleep in the shed on my own for the heinous crime of working very long hours to keep up with her spending. It was quite large and comfortable as sheds go (I should know because I paid for it) - but not the scenario that I had in mind for a relationship. I did try to resolve things with her but after a few months of pretending to be Lady Chatterley's lover, I decided that enough was enough and I would be going soon. The relationship was over; I wasn't even sleeping in the house and mutual respect levels were somewhere around sub-zero. Mind you, I resisted the temptation to sleep with the garden hoe.
If I had had sex with an old friend two weeks after I actually did, I suppose it wouldn't have been classed as adultery. I do wish that I had waited but I suppose I was vulnerable and needed some comfort after feeling abused for so long.
What I did was wrong but I justified it by telling myself that my ex-partner treated me more shabbily than a saint would have tolerated. I blamed myself for that too for not leaving sooner.
I suppose that there are many shades of adultery and that my only ever "offence" would fall into the "severe mitigation" category.
My god, that relationship could be a novel on its own. It wasn't exactly "War of the Roses" but possibly just as entertaining for an outsider.
 

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