Writing Forums

Writing Forums is a privately-owned, community managed writing environment. We provide an unlimited opportunity for writers and poets of all abilities, to share their work and communicate with other writers and creative artists. We offer an experience that is safe, welcoming and friendly, regardless of your level of participation, knowledge or skill. There are several opportunities for writers to exchange tips, engage in discussions about techniques, and grow in your craft. You can also participate in forum competitions that are exciting and helpful in building your skill level. There's so much more for you to explore!

A Revelation (1 Viewer)

farthest

Member
Something I wrote shortly after the experience that took place in the script...took place.
Broken lines are to show pauses for thinking, breating, etc.




Mr. Craig:it's pretty unfortunate

Mr. Craig:the way we suffer because of others

Mr. Craig:and in the same way

Mr. Craig:because of ourselves

Ms. Best:I’m not quite sure I understand your meaning.

Mr. Craig:I mean

Mr. Craig:we

Mr. Craig: define ourselves based, sometimes, on who other people

Mr. Craig: are

Mr. Craig:and what they think

Mr. Craig:and once we grow out of that

Mr. Craig:it's kind of like a race

Mr. Craig:in my own perspective

Ms. Best:can you really blame us though? We’re always defining ourselves by things that don't really matter. there's so much pressure, in high school especially.

Mr. Craig:Yes

Mr. Craig:Finding the line between brushing it off and accepting it

Ms. Best:if you aren't valedictorian or salutatorian, no one really cares. if you aren't president of some club or another, no one really cares. if you aren't elite in your class, no one really cares.

Ms. Best:it's an unfortunate trap.

Ms. Best:just as you said.

Mr. Craig:I've been trying to outrun it

Mr. Craigand come out unsuccessful

Mr. Craig:and then a woman comes along, as they are prone to

Mr. Craig:but it makes me think

Mr. Craig:how important is it to me

Ms. Best: the only way you're going to outrun it is by graduating.

Mr. Craig:and I only have a year left

Mr. Craig:so I’m in the clear

Ms. Best:true, but then there's college.

Ms. Best:pressure is lighter, but still there.

Ms. Best:and then a job.

Mr. Craig:but that's for another time

Ms. Best: true.

Mr. Craig:I say this because I always seem to be dealing with my "rank" among people

Mr. Craig:and how, though I scraped dishes for 2 hours without gloves

Mr. Craig:and then hosed them down thereafter

Mr. Craig:thus developing a cold

Mr. Craig: I won't receive commendation in the "victory speech" sure to await me on monday

Mr. Craig:when I reenter the building.

Mr. Craig:But in that

Mr. Craig: I find solace.

Mr. Craig:Because there are millions just like me

Mr. Craig:and even if there weren't

Mr. Craig:There's me.

Mr. Craig: And he has done it for the right reasons.

Ms. Best:why were you washing dishes for two hours?

Mr. Craig:we had a fundraising banquet

Mr. Craig:so we fed 600+

Mr. Craig:upper crust people

Mr. Craig:listened to a hot air bag for an hour

Mr. Craig:and then

Mr. Craig:took the job no one wanted

Mr. Craig:And as I stood there

Mr. Craig:I said

Mr. Craig:"Should I feel like this much of a Badass?"

Mr. Craig:To which my friend replied

Mr. Craig:"Hell yeah."

Ms. Best:!!!!! you said "badass"?!

Mr. Craig:Yes

Mr. Craig:I chuckled a bit just now

Mr. Craig:and the thought

Mr. Craig:I was passionate

Mr. Craig:my hands were covered in crap

Mr. Craig:and I just needed release

Ms. Best: and sometimes, a good expletive can offer you that.

Mr. Craig:yes

Mr. Craig:but

Mr. Craig: I don't want to fight for my commendation

Mr. Craig:or be the upper crust I serve

Mr. Craig:and I definitely don't want to be the kind of person

Mr. Craig:who sits in his truck

Mr. Craig:in the forest

Mr. Craig:and talks about how much his life sucks

Mr. Craig:because it doesn't.

Mr. Craig:My life

Mr. Craig:is full of purpose

Mr. Craig:and reward.
 
Last edited:

Wallmaker

Senior Member
Hi Farthest, I noticed you didn't have any comments... So I thought I could offer my newb two cents.

I don't think this is a script really, more like a dual dialogue spoken song or poem... which is OK, but not really what goes in this section...which is why I was reluctant to post anything about it. If you explain more of what this is, I'd be happy to critique it.
 
Top