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A bit of fun (1 Viewer)

LeonDude

Member
This is one of a few poems I wrote - usually late at night at the height of insomnia - for a bit of fun.
They do kind of resemble the stories I write.
Enjoy - and remember I like feedback.

Blunt Instrument

It was the first ever tool that was known to humankind,
The first heavy object, our ancestors could find,
Both short and heavy, this handy implement,
The best thing for killing, the Blunt Instrument!

Some would think that Cain first used this instrument most able,
Yet he got taught the dirty tricks through ancient myth and fable,
Thor had his hammer, Vishnu had a mace,
Blunt Instrument, to end a life with grace!

Blunt Instrument, for a husband or a wife,
Full-stop imparting, ending argument and strife,
Whatever comes in handy, whatever is within reach,
The Blunt Instrument, this thing of which I preach!

Blunt Instrument, the thing to use in crimes of passion,
To end a drunken argument, this thing’s the height of fashion,
Rolling pins and pots, you don’t ever need to plan,
Reach out with your free hand, grab a heavy-bottomed pan!

All it takes is rhythm, and a little space to swing,
Over-arm is best, for dealing out a ‘Ding’,
You don’t need to practice, we all know how it goes,
The Blunt Instrument is delivering the blows!

Tap him on the noggin with a silver candlestick,
Are you in the garden? There’s sure to be a brick,
Silence noisy neighbors, and the witnesses as well,
Have pride in just how many your Blunt Instrument can fell!

Blunt Instruments are free, they’re all around dispersed,
Leave your lifeless enemies, in pools of blood immersed,
Use your imagination, your troubles will soon fade,
Grab your Blunt Instrument, of finest, highest, grade!
 

Firemajic

Poetry Mentor
Staff member
Senior Mentor
love the creative subject matter ;) One of my favorite things! Nice rhyme scheme, with easy flow, if you use rhyme as a poetic device, it should be subtle, like background music and you did that... I love the humor and it feels like you had fun writing this... keep up the good work...and don't forget to leave feedback to others ;)
 

jenthepen

Staff member
Mentor
Hi, Leon and welcome! I enjoy a bit of humour and you hit the spot with this one. (pardon the pun ;) )

I think you really hit your stride (I can't stop with the puns now!) in the third stanza when the rhythm smoothed out and the fun really began. Maybe the poem would work even better without the first couple of verses?

Good job though. It gave me a giggle and I'm looking forward to reading more of your work already.

jen
 

Namyh

Senior Member
Leon - Loved your work. It made me laugh and giggle which this week is just what I needed. Thanks LD. Namyh
 
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