Collaboration...


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Thread: Collaboration...

  1. #1
    ArjelTheRevenant
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    Collaboration...

    I'm new to these forums, so if this post has anything that violates the rules and guidelines, I apologize.

    For quite some time now, I have been wanting to write a screenplay. I created a story and I know it - as well as the characters - front to back and back to front again. An obvious first step.

    My problem is that no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to get a handle on screenplay form. I mean, I understand the basics of it, but I always end up being either overly wordy or "cutting the fat" way too much.
    That's why I feel collaboration is the way to go. I have the vision, but not the skill. I need someone to write my screenplay for me.

    So, I'm wondering if anyone has any advice or tips on how to go about this - where to find someone, etc.
    Or if there is anyone on these boards that would like to help me write a horror-based script.

    Thanks in advance...

  2. #2
    Member mammamaia's Avatar
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    i'd be happy to help you, if it didn't have violent content... BUT... if you want to start out with a non-violent practice/learning piece, i'll be glad to show you how to write a script...

    love and hugs, maia
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  3. #3
    ArjelTheRevenant
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    Quote Originally Posted by mammamaia
    i'd be happy to help you, if it didn't have violent content... BUT... if you want to start out with a non-violent practice/learning piece, i'll be glad to show you how to write a script...

    love and hugs, maia
    [email protected]
    I sincerely appreciate that, but unfortunately, my story does contain violent content. It's nothing like guns, explosions, murder, etc... but violence is still violence.

    The following is about a half of a page that I've written, to give an example of my work. It's brief, I know, but this is about what I'm capable of.


    EXT. EXPRESSWAY DAY

    From the forested hills in the background to the small pockets of woods just past the guardrail, its a winter wonderland. Beautiful, if youre into that.

    A light snow falls, adding to whats there. Enough traffic is out to keep the road clear.

    Along the shoulder, a MAN, in his 40s, walks at a healthy clip. Hes bundled in a long hooded coat and wearing gloves. It must be enough as the strongest GUSTS OF WIND cannot make him turn.

    A CELL PHONE begins to RING, muffled. Without stopping, the man looks down at his pocket and reaches towards it. Then reconsiders. He lets the RINGING stop by itself.

    There is a brief pause before the RINGING beings again. The man focuses on the snowy path before him and the CELL PHONE eventually quits.

  4. #4
    Member mammamaia's Avatar
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    since there's no violence in this excerpt, i can at least give you some feedback on your writing style and format... bottom line is you're writing a novel here, not a screenplay...

    i'll rewrite each section just to show you how to write lean and clean, as you must, if you want to have spec script by a newbie taken seriously...

    EXT. EXPRESSWAY DAY

    ...slug line is ok...

    From the forested hills in the background to the small pockets of woods just past the guardrail, its a winter wonderland. Beautiful, if youre into that.

    A light snow falls, adding to whats there. Enough traffic is out to keep the road clear.
    A winter wonderland, with tree-covered hills in the distance and pockets of woods extending to the guardrails. Snow covers all and more falls gently. Traffic is light.

    Along the shoulder, a MAN, in his 40s, walks at a healthy clip. Hes bundled in a long hooded coat and wearing gloves. It must be enough as the strongest GUSTS OF WIND cannot make him turn.
    [note: in action element, things are not typed in all-caps... only key word of sfx (though even that's not done much nowadays) and character names]

    A MAN (40s) walks briskly along the shoulder, seemingly unaffected by strong gusts of wind. He wears a long, hooded coat and gloves.

    A CELL PHONE begins to RING, muffled. Without stopping, the man looks down at his pocket and reaches towards it. Then reconsiders. He lets the RINGING stop by itself.

    There is a brief pause before the RINGING beings again. The man focuses on the snowy path before him and the CELL PHONE eventually quits.
    [note: nothing in a script 'begins'... when something happens, you write it... till it does, you don't]

    A cell phone in the man's pocket RINGS. He reaches for it, then lets it ring till it stops. After a few seconds, it RINGS again. He ignores it, and continues on his way.

    ...so, with all the novel-ish stuff pared away, here's all you needed:

    EXT. EXPRESSWAY DAY

    A winter wonderland, with tree-covered hills in the distance and pockets of woods extending to the guardrails. Snow covers all and more falls gently. Traffic is light.

    A MAN (40s) walks briskly along the shoulder, seemingly unaffected by strong gusts of wind. He wears a long, hooded coat and gloves.

    A cell phone in the man's pocket RINGS. He reaches for it, then lets it ring till it stops. After a few seconds, it RINGS again. He ignores it, and continues on his way.


    ...hope this helps... hugs, m
    For 100% free writing help/mentoring:
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