SUICIDE (a satire)


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Thread: SUICIDE (a satire)

  1. #1
    saintoflight
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    SUICIDE (a satire)

    Suicide

    (School scene. Girl, Julie is walking down path. School kids are walking either side of her and leaning against the walls either side)
    JULIE: Hi Sharla (gives a small wave)
    SHARLA: (glares then tosses hair) Whatever! (quickly walks in opposite direction)
    JULIE: Oh ok! (frowns, but keeps walking.)
    (Other kids start bumping into her intentionally as she tries to walk by quickly)
    JACK: Oh my god, (pointing and sniggering at Julie) she's wearing odd socks
    (everyone laughs except for Julie, she runs and hides in the toilets)


    (A school bell rings and Julie walks to the bus alone. Hoping on the bus Julie looks for a place to sit-down)
    JULIE: Um, can I please sit here? (Indicating the seat where Tom's bag is)
    TOM: Can't you see it's taken (Turns to face window then lets the boy behind Julie sit down as Julie moves forward)
    JULIE: (Takes a deep breath) Ok (Moves further down aisle, but each time she goes to sit kids refuse to let her. Turning to face the front Julie stands)
    JACK: Hey odd sock girl, (Julie ignores him) Why don't you walk home, nobody wants you here
    (with tears rolling down her cheeks Julie runs to the front of the bus to hop off but slips on the step and falls flat on her face. Hoots of laughter and nasty comments are heard from the bus as it drives off)


    (Walking up the steps of her home, Julie dries her eyes. Opening the door she slips in quietly, then walking past the television heads to her room)
    JULIE'S DAD: Get out of the road (shoeing her away with his arms), Gee whiz girl, you got no consideration for other people
    (standing in the hallway Julie stars at her father in disbelief)
    JULIE'S MOTHER: What are you looking at? It's rude to stare
    (Turning on her heel Julie makes an escape to her room where lying on the bed she begins to cry into her pillow, before her brother and sister enter without knocking)
    BROTHER: Oh, what's you problem (picks up CD marked "Julie" and walks out)
    SISTER: You're such a cry baby. You better stay in your room and shut up. I don't want you making any noise while I'm trying to watch the telly (storms out, slamming
    the door behind her)
    (Lying on the bed in a downfall of tears Julie grabs a pen and paper and starts to write)
    JULIE: Dear Family,
    I came home really upset today because the kids at school were teasing me about my odd socks. (Julie pauses in her writing, looks down at her feet takes off her shoes and rips off her socks, whilst crying) And then when I walked through that door, as a family I hoped you would make me feel better. But you didn't, you just made me feel worst. As if you didn't care about how I feel, as if I didn't matter, as if life doesn't matter. I just wanted you to know how hurt I was afterwards.
    But because we're family, I forgive you.
    Love Julie xoxox
    (Julie walks out to kitchen and hands her mother the letter. Then feeling better that she got it all off her chest, she walks back to her room and goes to sleep.)


    (The next morning Julie wakes up with an afro. Walking out to the kitchen for breakfast Julie has forgotten all about yesterdays upset. Grabbing a bowl and spoon out of the cupboard Julie turns to her mum who hands her back the letter. Julie looks confused)
    JULIE'S MOTHER: Here (thrusts letter at her daughter) I fixed up the spelling mistakes. What subject is this for, English?
    (Julie's jaw drops as does her bowl, then runs to her room crying, with spoon still in her hand. Julie's mum rolls her eyes and sighs)
    JULIE: (trembling) Oh my god. (breath deepens) Life is just not worth living, when not even, my family, understands me. My friends are mean to me, I don't have any real friends anymore. Noone cares about me. As if I only exist to be hurt. I can't live like that (slashes wrists with spoon)


    (Four weeks later. Julie's brother and sister walk past Julie's room)
    JULIE'S BROTHER: Puwee (waves hand past nose) what stinks?
    JULIE'S SISTER: (Pointing to Julie's room where the door is already open)
    I think it's coming from in there
    JULIE'S BROTHER: Let's go in and have a look
    (They walk in and discover Julie is dead. They pause for just a moment)
    JULIE'S SISTER: I bags the CD's
    JULIE'S BROTHER: No way there mine
    (They start fighting)

    THE END

  2. #2
    saintoflight
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    Oh and by the way I didn't mean to affend anyone here either ok.

  3. #3
    Member mammamaia's Avatar
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    what kind of a script is this meant to be?... it's not in any recognizable script format, so it's pretty hard to read, with all the action and dialog scrunched together and no slug lines anywhere...

    if you would like a script format guide to help you put this in readable form, drop me a line and i'll send it to you...

    love and hugs, maia
    [email protected]

    ps: one really can't slit one's wrists with a spoon, no matter how hard you try... or, was that meant to be funny?
    For 100% free writing help/mentoring:
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  4. #4
    saintoflight
    Guest
    This was going to be given to my teacher, but she thought suicide was to much of a touchy subject. We where working on parody and satire. The script is supposed to be a quick play we can act out. I chose a different one however to hand in and just wanted to see if this script was a controversial as my teacher made it seem. Oh and yes the spoon thing was just a stupid joke as where other comments throughout. I didn't realise the way in which I wrote it was so bad but then again I've only read one other script in this forum and it was set out in note form. Anyway thanks for your interest.

  5. #5
    Member mammamaia's Avatar
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    i'll be glad to send you a script format guide, if you want... or show you how this should be typed... either way, just drop me a line...

    hugs, maia
    [email protected]
    For 100% free writing help/mentoring:
    Hidden Content

    "You must BE the change you wish to see in the world." Gandhi

  6. #6
    Av_id098
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    I like the ending, i wasen;t expecting it

  7. #7
    saintoflight
    Guest
    Thanks for the positive response.

  8. #8
    It made me sad, even though I really liked it. I related with Julie in a way, because my family is sorta like that, except I don't talk to them and I don't have my own room.
    Cherish your visions; cherish your ideals; cherish the music that stirs in your heart, the beauty that forms in your mind, the loveliness that drapes your purest thoughts, for out of them will grow delightful conditions, all heavenly environment; of these if you but remain true to them, your world will at last be built
    --James Allen

  9. #9
    saintoflight
    Guest
    i'ts amazing how cruel people can be but those who hurt usually have been hurt themselves... i know that doesn't make it right but at least you can see where they're coming from.

  10. #10
    silverwriter
    Guest
    I've been looking at this title for a few days and I finally got the guts to read it. As this is a bit of a personal, sensitive thing for me, I believe you handled it well in your writing.

    Just two things I noticed:
    "feel worst" - I know she's still in school, but it rubbed me the wrong way. I thought it might be worth a mention.

    Second, maia is right - spoon wouldn't do the trick. She could be slicing an orange for breakfast maybe? Or, if she can get a hold of one, tearing apart a razor for the blade would also do it.

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