The Journal


Results 1 to 3 of 3

Thread: The Journal

  1. #1
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Kingston, Ontario
    Posts
    36

    The Journal

    [disc:4fcefae5a9]Strong language, violence.[/disc:4fcefae5a9][an:4fcefae5a9]This was just something quick I wrote a while back to practice scriptwriting format[/an:4fcefae5a9]
    EXT. BUS STOP - LATE AUTUMN - DAY

    LANA, a girl in her late twenties, stands at the corner, blowing on her hands to keep warm.

    LANA (V.O.)
    It's not even the work that bothers me, but the need for me to leave my house. It's too bad that I can't help contribute nothing to society from the privacy of my own home.

    Bus arrives. People get off. As Lana gets on she collides with DAVID, a young man also in his early twenties. He wears a black hooded sweatshirt and jeans.

    LANA
    Oh damn it, I'm sorry. Here, let me get-

    DAVID
    (Cutting her off)
    It's fine. Just give it back.

    He exits the bus quickly, pushing by Lana.

    LANA
    Jackass.

    Lana shows her pass to the driver and sits down. She sees a journal under a seat across from her. She picks it up and begins to flip through. It is filled with writing and sketches. She pulls her feet up.

    DAVID (V.O.)
    I felt the strain of my task running along the length between my wrists and elbows. My heart beating my eardrums as my knees began to shake with the realization of what I had done. A bead of sweat rolled into my eye and I remember wiping my brow only to find I'd made it worse. It only vaguely occurred to me that it must be everywhere. The table leg in my hand fell to the floor as I look upon the now lifeless form before me.

    Lana closes the book.

    LANA
    Sick boy. Who gets off on writing garbage like this? Probably thinks he's a
    vampire too

    She flips to a new page, near the beginning.


    NICOLE'S ROOM

    David and NICOLE sit on the floor.

    DAVID (V.O.)
    Today I went to Nicole's house. She just bought a new video camera. It kicked a whole lotta ass! Maybe one day she'll shoot my video when I, you know, actually make it somewhere.

    Nicole points a video camera towards David and speaks to him.

    NICOLE
    And what do you have to say to your adoring fans while at the height of your European tour?

    DAVID
    (In a British Accent)
    Right, first I'd like to say to all the tossers who thought we wouldn't make it this far, sod off! Hehe right right. And to all me fans, we did it! But for now, let us do away with all the formalities.

    David leans in to kiss Nicole. She laughs and pokes him in the chest.

    NICOLE
    What are you doing?

    DAVID
    (Sarcastic)
    You know, if we're ever going to get married, you're going to eventually have to put out a bit.

    NICOLE
    Are you still on about that? Look, like we agreed, if we're both still single at 35, we'll get married. Until then you'll just have to take a couple more cold showers.

    DAVID
    Alright fine. But when we're 35, I'm getting me a little.

    Nicole punches David in the arm.


    INT. BUS

    DAVID (V.O.)
    Those were happy times. Back when the little things still mattered.

    Bus stops. Lana flips through the pages quickly and puts it into her bag. She walks off.

    Lana walks down the street to the restaurant she works at. She enters.


    INT. RESTAURANT

    After working a while, Lana is taking off an apron and walking towards the back of the room.

    LANA
    Alright Sue, I'm going on my break.


    BACK-ROOM.

    Lana removes her lunch from her backpack. She sees the notebook and pulls it out. Fade.


    EXT. NICOLE'S HOUSE

    Clips of Nicole and David, but Nicole acts stand-offish.

    DAVID (V.O.)
    I went to Nicole's, but she wasn't there. Not a big difference since she barely seems there when she's right in front of me though. She was at Mike's. Again. Whatever she sees in the cretin I can't understand. She always seems less like herself when she gets back. I don't get it.

    DAVID'S ROOM
    David plays guitar, more aggressively as time passes.

    DAVID (V.O.)
    He's changing her. Maybe I'll have a talk with him to discuss priorities.


    INT. NICOLE'S RESTAURANT

    SUE
    Lana! You think maybe you could lend a hand out here?

    LANA
    (Snaps the book shut, stammering)
    Yeah! Shit. Sorry. I'll be right out.


    EXT. RESTAURANT. NIGHT

    Lana hails a cab.


    INT. LANA'S APARTMENT

    She tosses her coat onto a chair, jumps on the bed and begins to read. Fade.


    DAVID'S ROOM

    DAVID (V.O.)
    Nicole can't see me anymore. Why? Ask Mike. He decided that he didn't like the way she acted after my visits. Makes sense, I might give her some crazy ideas about voting and wearing pants.

    DAVID
    Fuck it. If she wants to toss me away for someone like that, her loss.

    David grabs a picture of Nicole off the dresser and throws it at the wall where it breaks. Fade.


    INT. LANA'S ROOM.

    LANA
    It's always the same. Boy meets girl. Boy loses girl. Girl dumps boy for other boy who's bigger or has a faster car but treats her like dryer lint. What a tool.

    Lana flips ahead.

    DAVID (V.O.)
    I could've stopped it. Why wasn't I there?


    INT. DAVID'S ROOM.
    David drops a phone he'd been listening to. He drops to his knees.

    DAVID
    No. This isn't real. It's not. How could it be? This doesn't happen. David crawls to the corner of his room, cutting his hand on a piece of glass. As he pulls it out he sees a picture of Nicole on the floor and begins to cry. He looks up and clenches the bloody fist.

    DAVID
    The feeling in my hand was deadened by that in my heart, for the feeling was that of the one holding it falling into the abyss.

    Lana gets up and walks to the kitchen. Chewing an apple, she continues reading.

    LANA
    The vigilante has always been made larger than life. Above the law, above daily routine, above pain.


    EXT. ROOFTOP - NIGHT.

    David looks at the bandage on his hand.

    DAVID (V.O.)
    But not above pain. Pain is probably the only thing one can feel at this point. I don't hunger. I don't fear. All I feel is the pain and the need to cover it with anything else. Rage, and the transfer of the pain to those who brought it first. I am nothing more than a debt collector.

    DAVID
    Time to pay up

    David kicks open the door.


    INT. LANA'S APARTMENT.

    Lana flips through the journal again.


    EXT. BUSY STREET - DAY

    David walks.

    DAVID
    It doesn't stop. The pain doesn't regress. It doesn't transfer. It's impossible to feel better, but yet you must trod on, looking for the next, and then another… and there will always be more. Even after I expire there will be more.


    INT. LANA'S APARTMENT.

    Lana puts the book down.

    LANA
    Relax emo kid, life ain't that hard.

    Lana gets up and stretches. As she walks back to the kitchen she sees a newspaper on the floor by her front door. She stops, backs up and lifts it quickly. Front page: Fourth victim found…

    LANA
    Beaten to death. Hardware store owner Christopher Thompson found today. Wife a suspect. Years of spousal abuse. Lana drops the newspaper and grabs the journal, flipping to the back.

    DAVID
    People who live in highrises seem to forget that they have windows. Either that or Chris seems to enjoy letting anyone, who would care to, watch him smack his wife around the kitchen.

    LANA
    Holy. It's real. Oh my god. Should I call the cops? Do I think he's wrong? Why didn't it stop with Mike?

    Flips back through the book.


    INT. DAVID'S ROOM

    DAVID (V.O.)
    The next morning I woke up, and for five minutes I'd forgotten anything had changed.

    David walks to the bathroom and sees himself in the mirror. His face stained with red, as are his hands and under his nails. David buckles down and the view flashes between him and the mirror image.

    DAVID
    It's not going to go away, is it?

    MIRROR DAVID
    No.

    DAVID
    Why not?

    MIRROR DAVID
    Because there will be others. Date rapists, pedophiles, wife beaters.

    DAVID
    But I put things right! I can stop now!

    MIRROR DAVID
    Can you really? And where is Nicole now that you've 'made things right'?
    Hmm? I'll tell you: she's rotting and worm-eaten, that's where. Nothing's right, and nothing will be while evil men are allowed to exist.

    DAVID
    But I am just a man…

    MIRROR DAVID
    Are you now? Joan of Arc was 'just one girl' then? Genghis Khan was 'just
    one Mongol'? One on a mission can do much. You have a cause now 'boy'. See it through!

    DAVID
    But how will I know when I am done?

    MIRROR DAVID
    You can rest when the wicked fear to walk alone and the righteous lay claim to their loved ones!

    DAVID
    So I am damned.

    David puts his head in his hands.


    INT. LANA'S APARTMENT

    Lana flips to the end of the journal, dated the night before.

    DAVID (V.O.)
    Thursday is coming faster than I'd thought. I can't believe it's aleady been a year.


    INT. DAVID'S BATHROOM

    David looks in the mirror.

    DAVID
    How do I look?

    MIRROR DAVID
    Like the dead that walks. She won't care. What do you plan on telling her?
    That you've only accomplished four would-be murderers since she passed? She'll be so proud.

    DAVID
    She will be! She'll realize that I've got purpose now. I've accomplished much, I've saved three families… what more could she want?

    MIRROR DAVID
    Just that: more! Until no child has fear, until any who would not stand for themselves walk upright!

    DAVID
    But I'm trying… it's hard.

    David begins to cry.

    MIRROR DAVID
    Look at you. You never listen! You will never know your full potential! You show pity upon those who would hurt you. You are weak!

    DAVID
    Enough!

    David breaks the mirror.

    DAVID
    I no longer want to think of the past.


    INT. LANA'S APARTMENT

    Lana looks at the book, now over. The clock shows 12:42. She puts the book down and walks to her bedroom.


    INT. LANA'S ROOM

    2 a.m. She's still awake. She turns on the light and grabs the journal, flipping to an earlier section.

    DAVID (V.O.)
    So I met mike today.


    EXT. NICOLE'S HOUSE

    David and Nicole wait. Mike arrives. They talk and Mike makes an excuse. Lana and Mike leave David.

    DAVID
    I don't like him, but I've never been known to trust my instincts. He's one of these mesomorph assholes, into sports ad shooting things. Oh well, how bad can he be? Nicole seems to like him. Besides, what am I going to do, beat him up because I 'think' he might be a dick?


    INT. LANA'S ROOM

    Lana packs her bag with the notebook.


    INT. LIBRARY

    Lana reads newspapers from the previous year and finds the story of Lana's death.

    LANA
    Nicole Sutherland, 19, was found dead in her apartment… overdose… found by neighbours… services being held at the Chamberlain South cemetery…

    Lana sets out.


    EXT. CEMETARY - DAY

    Lana walks by the gravestones before stopping at one.

    LANA (V.O.)
    Nicole Brisby, 1984-2003.

    Lana finds a nearby stone and crouches beside it.


    EXT. CEMETARY - NIGHT

    David arrives. He walks to Nicole's tombstone and begins to look around. He sits. Lana walks into view.

    LANA
    It's not your fault you know.

    DAVID
    Who are you? What are you doing here? You'll ruin everything!

    LANA
    It wasn't your fault, you couldn't have stopped it. Mike deserved what he
    got-

    DAVID
    Shut up! What the fuck do you know? She could've left anytime. Just because she was too fucking weak to take it that asshole Ryan kills my brother!?

    Lana stops.

    LANA
    What?

    DAVID
    He's gonna be here, that's what it said in his book, and I'll be here too!

    LANA
    'His' book.

    DAVID
    That's right. I'm going to kill that fucker, and no little bitch is gonna stop
    me!

    David runs towards Lana. She turns and starts to run when a blunt object connects with David as he passes a large stone. David falls to the ground. RYAN steps into view.

    DAVID
    Ryan.

    Montage of the previous clips from the journal, now with Ryan's face instead of David.

    RYAN
    Your time for speaking is over. Give me my journal.

    DAVID
    Too late man, I gave it to the cops. You're fucked.

    LANA
    No, he didn't.

    Lana begins to rifle through her bag. David attempts to rise.

    DAVID
    Bitch!

    Ryan puts his boot to David's chest.

    RYAN
    Easy friend, there'll be none of that. Lana shows the journal to Ryan.

    LANA
    Here it is. I won't say that Mike didn't get what he deserved… but getting yourself killed or locked up won't bring her back.

    RYAN
    No, but I'll sure feel better.

    LANA
    Will you? Did you feel better after Mike? What about Chris? They won't
    make it go away, you'll just keep finding a new fight, until you're caught or killed.

    Ryan looks at david and crunches his foot against the man's chest.

    RYAN
    Get up. If you ever feel the need to see me again, walk in your brother's footsteps. They'll lead you back to me. Be away.

    David gets up and advances on Ryan.

    DAVID
    Like hell!

    Ryan breaks his club over a tombstone.

    RYAN
    Be away!

    David stumbles as he acks away, not taking his eyes off of Ryan.

    DAVID
    I'll be seeing you.

    David leaves.

    LANA
    Ryan, I don't know whether or not I agree with what you're doing, but it's not my story to write.

    Lana hands Ryan the journal. He nods and leaves. Lana looks at Nicole's grave.
    FADE TO BLACK.

  2. #2
    very interesting piece. darkness, murder, romance (kinda), cult-like, twisting and surprising. some very good turns in the script, especially when the true owner of the journal is revealed. one thing i would've liked to see: if when lana was reading the journal, david read along with her like a duet. i think that would've been good.
    Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia.
    - E.L. Doctorow

  3. #3
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Kingston, Ontario
    Posts
    36
    Yeah, I definately think if I expan on it, I'll incorporate the "duet". That was something I kind of pictured while writing it

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
This website uses cookies
We use cookies to store session information to facilitate remembering your login information, to allow you to save website preferences, to personalise content and ads, to provide social media features and to analyse our traffic. We also share information about your use of our site with our social media, advertising and analytics partners.