Whats His Problem?


Results 1 to 5 of 5

Thread: Whats His Problem?

  1. #1
    Burning
    Guest

    Whats His Problem?

    This is my first ever script. I always wanted to write one. Its a comedy, please comment.

    -----------------------------------------------------------------

    Whats His Problem?

    Act 1 Scene 1

    [John, Pat sit in the living room, watching television, staring at the television. Pat sits on the armchair, uncomfortablely with his arms crossed]

    Pat: Is this what we are going to do all day?

    John: Well if you would have brung your Playstation around, maybe you would be having fun, but you didnt.

    [John huffs as Pat sighs]

    Pat: Just because I didnt bring it around doesnt mean we cant have fun.

    [John mumbles]

    Pat: How about we go to the arcade down the street, Ill even pay.

    John: Yeah but get a taxi.

    Pat: Why? It only in the next street.

    John: If we dont get a taxi, then im not going, Im not bored you know.

    Pat: Your watching the news. You always complain about it.

    John: So.

    [John lifts a beer and necks it. Sits back down and burps loudly.]

    Pat: Im away, whats the point of me sittin

    [Interupts]

    John: Bye, shut the door on the way out.

    [Pat mumbles and slams the door]

    John: I hate the news.

    [Gets off the chair, stretches, cracks his back, puts a coat on and walks out, locking the door behind him]

    [Walks down the road and into the shop, lifts a coke and goes to till, sees Pat in front of him]

    John: O hello Pat

    Pat: Where you going?

    John: Just thought I might take a nip down to the arcade for a bit, heard there was new games.

    [Pat runs past John furiously and out of the shop]

    Shop Assistant: Whats his problem?

    John: Doesnt like arcades.

    [Pays for drink, and walks out whistling to the arcade, seeing Pat storm off in his car. John waves]

  2. #2
    Member CrimsonMoon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Hershey Pennsylvania
    Posts
    3
    That was an amusing little quip. Very intriguing. If this is your first attempt at a script then it was quite good however, I do suggest that you pick up a copy of a "How to Manual" at your local library. It might just give you some tips. I hope you do keep up with writing. I look forward to reading more of your work.
    "Remember to take joy in the small things life gives you, for no matter how bad life seems to be... something worse is always on it's way." ~Luisa

  3. #3
    It's kind of dry....?
    DELICIOUS

    -CFH

  4. #4
    DavidC
    Guest
    I liked it. Very quick wit about the news bit. Keep it up.

  5. #5
    needs to be longer. showing a point or leading up to something. it doesn't really have anything in it. have pat be a compulsive complainer. dont keep it to 'i hate the news' make him a ranter. 'man, look at this sh#$. All the time, it's death and destruction told by white fat guys with fake hair. I mean, have you ever watched CNN for more than six hours? It's the most depressing thing you'll ever do. All over the place, relentless, just goes on abou t"yeah and the nuclear reactor that blew up will produce 800 million 3 eyed babies" but where is it all, I look outside and I see Mr. Degnan mowing the lawn. Where's all the mass destruction. Boy I tell ya I hate the news'.
    A man walks through an airport. . .

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
This website uses cookies
We use cookies to store session information to facilitate remembering your login information, to allow you to save website preferences, to personalise content and ads, to provide social media features and to analyse our traffic. We also share information about your use of our site with our social media, advertising and analytics partners.