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  1. #1


    First Draft

    BY Mat Hudson


    Open on an old door, door is centered in the shot

    Cut to shot of a standard small Digital Alarm clock (6:59 is on the
    clock) on a bed table to the right of the bed (bed positioned so that
    the end of the bed is parallel to the door)

    Cut to shot of a woman lying on a bed, her head is resting on the
    pillow (shot is of her shoulder up, her head is in center frame)
    blanket over her shoulder

    Cut back to the shot of the clock, wait three seconds and then the
    clock changes to 7:00 the alarm sounds, the woman's hand comes across
    the left side of the shot and hits the "snooze" button.

    Cut back to the centered shot of the door, faint footsteps (a dragging
    or limp almost) can be heard, Shot begins to slowly zoom as the
    footsteps begin to get louder.
    The footsteps reach a point where they sound as though they are right
    out side the door

    Cut shot of the handle (close, handle on the right)
    Handle starts to make violent motions (it is trying to be opened but is locked)

    Cut back to the shot of the door, rattling of the handle continues
    shot is panned to the woman lying on the bed

    Woman sits up from hearing the sounds of the rattling door handle

    Looks at the door worried
    Stranger (the one whose foot steps could be heard) begins to scratch
    the door, gradually scratching more and harder.

    Pan back to woman sitting the bed (her look is more worried than
    before) she sits up a little more and asks

    Woman –who's there? (As she is asking pan to the left back to the door)

    At the sound of the woman's voice the scratching stops

    (Pan with the woman)
    The woman gets up from the bed and walks up to the door,

    (Close up shot of her hand on the handle)
    She places her hand on the door (footsteps can be heard)

    (Follow hand to the chain lock)
    The woman locks the chain lock

    (Cut to wide shot of woman at the door lens of camera directly on the
    door and the woman's back)
    Then she opens the door so that she is safe and looks through the crack

    A little pale looking boy (with blood on his chin and lower lip) is
    outside (immediately with out studying the boy's looks or behavior the
    woman opens the door

    The little boy is standing out in a long hallway camera is on the boy
    and centered, the boy is breathing hard. Shot of boy is over the
    woman's shoulder. The boy looks furious

    Then with out warning the boy jumps on to the woman and sinks a bite
    into her neck

    They fall out of frame and the sound of screams and biting can be
    heard for a while


    TITLE – Opening segments - CREDITS

    Shot on the TV, normal show then Emergency broadcast screen.
    A man says, "the only way to dispose of the creatures is to remove
    the head or destroy the brain, ETC. "

    Sounds from TV carry over perfectly

    Cut to a shot a teen boy lying on a couch from a strange angle

    Boy sits up and rubs his eyes looking around he stands up

    Cut to opposite angle of boy on his feet

    Boy walks to the door – cut to a shot of the handle close up handle is
    on the left most side of the shot

    Boy's Hand comes into frame and opens door

    Cut to shot from outside the room boy opens door he looks around
    curiously worried

    Turns and starts to walk down the stairs

    Cut to a shot half way down the stairs the boy still walking down

    Cut to a shot of the stairs from above the boy continues to walk down the stairs

    Cut to shot behind the boy on the stairs

    Cut to shot of boy at the bottom of the stairs at an angle the boy in
    the right half of the screen.

    Boy still looks around worried

    Boy – Hello? Mom? Dad? Guys?
    Boy turns, looks around and begins to walk past the stairs to the left
    on the camera

    Cut to shot in front of the boy watching him walk down the hallway

    Boy continues to walk down the hallway

    Cut to shot from behind the boy as he enters the room with no door at
    the end of the hall
    Cut to close shot of boy (following him)

    Boy walks up to door in front of him

    Cut to shot to the left of the boy standing by the door

    Boy looks curious and places his head on the door listening to
    something; sounds of eating can be heard faintly

    Boy – "Hello?"

    As the boy speaks the eating sound stops
    Same shot boy opens the door and over his left shoulder a boy can be
    seen hunched over something (its not shown yet what it is)

    Shot cut zooms in on the boy hunched over twice then the boy turns his
    head to look at the boy standing in the door way. Blood and such are
    covering his mouth and chin area focus is on him and the body in the
    background is not visible. Focus changes to the body in the background
    a gash-faced boy is laying on the floor.

    Cut to shot from inside the room on the boy standing in the doorway,
    boy begins to freak out (miscellaneous nervousness) boy begins to
    breath unevenly and panicky.

    Cut to shot of the zombie boy he stands up and begins to walk towards
    the boy in the doorway

    Cut to behind the zombie

    Normal Boy – "Chris?" (Looks extremely scared)

    Cut to behind the "normal boy" – boy starts to back up as the zombie
    moves forward
    Boy stops

    Normal Boy – "Chris are you alright"

    Cut to shot behind zombie boy, zombie boy moves forward in a lunging
    motion as though he is going in for a bite.

    Normal boy holds back
    Boy – "what the heck is wrong with you"
    As he pushes the zombie down

    As the zombie is falling cut to a shot of him falling over the normal
    boys shoulder – MOTION CUT

    Zombie starts to get up

    Cut to shot from side of normal boys head feeling pity and scared at
    the same time. Focus is on boy background out of focus. Boy turns his
    head as focus changes to a bat on the table.

    Cut to shot from behind boy as he reaches for the bat

    Cut to shot of bat end as he grabs the bat

    Cut to shot from behind and to the right of the boy

    The zombie begins to get up and attack again

    While attacking cut to shot from the front looking to the right on the
    normal boy

    Boy pushes zombie off with bat and pulls back cut to shot in front of
    him as he swings down. Shot moves back as the boy keeps swinging door
    is in the way so hits cannot be seen.

    As the shot is pulling back the other boy zombie gets up, looks around
    and makes some noises he runs/moves fast out the door and lunges at
    the boy cut to shot above where the BODY/ZOMBIE would, be boy runs


    Cut to shot of boy running down the hall,

    Cut to shot from down the hall watching the zombie running towards the
    boy turns and as he brings up the bat shot cuts to outside the door
    and the sound of a bat hitting a body and the body hitting the floor
    is heard

    Cut to shot of in front of boy as he looks very scared, he turns and
    runs to the door as he puts his hand on the door to turn Cut to shot
    of door from outside

    Boy walks out and shuts door

    As he looks to the left the camera Cuts to a shot of his view as he
    looks and pans people screaming can be see and some running

    Cut back to shot of him outside the door

    He walks forward past the camera

    Cut to shot lower down in the grass as he runs down the steps

    Cut to shot from behind as he runs along the sidewalk and to his car

    Shot is now a hand cam (not steady) to show confusion and fear
    Boy looks around as he gets out his keys to open the door, shot moving
    up and down to see what he is looking at.

    Boy gets door open as shot cuts to inside the car the boy locks the
    car as he shakes nervously he turns on the radio not the car

    As the radio is telling about the incident, the shot cuts to behind
    outside the car as it raises above seeing several Zombies running and
    some slowly walking down the street towards him shot fades to black as
    man on radio says,
    "All you can do to be safe is to stay in your homes and barricade yourself in"


  2. #2
    Please critic, if you feel the urge to

  3. #3
    Member lisajane's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Melbourne Australia
    Okay I scanned this and it seems alright, but I think you should study how to generally set out a screenplay. It's not like writing a normal story.

    You also don't necessarily need camera angles.
    'Beauty stands and waits with gravity to start her death-defying leap. And he, a little charleychaplin man, who may or may not catch her fair eternal form spreadeagled in the empty air of existence.' - Laurence Felinghetti, 'The Acrobat'

  4. #4
    this is how I write my screenplays that I produce, it is easier for me to remember the angles if I write them down

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Orlando, Florida
    this is how I write my screenplays that I produce, it is easier for me to remember the angles if I write them down
    That's what shot sheets are for.

    While this style may work for you, it's unreadable for anybody else. After the first fifteen 'cut to shot of', I just gave up.

    Even if you are producing this yourself, you need to learn proper screenplay format. Because if the cast and crew can't look at your script and quickly understand your intent, you're screwed before you even begin. This business is all about communication. Be clear, be concise, and stick to format.


  6. #6
    Member Novicewriter's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    North Carolina
    I agree with lisajane and Oz...I couldn't even read it because there were WAY too many "shots" Even if you produce screenplays the first draft should not include camera shots. TRUST me i've read a book by a screenwriter himself. Sorry....the premise is VERY good, don't get me wrong. I'm no expert either but I do understand the format.

    "There are only two things that scare me...Dr. Evil and Carnies. You know, circus folk. They have small hands and smell like cabbage."

  7. #7
    I will check out how to write one properly

    thank you very much for your awesome critism I really appreciate it


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