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#21 umbrella (1 Viewer)

Pulse

Staff member
Senior Mentor
I like this kin d of haiku that is not too fixed on count. At first I wanted 'how kind of a tree'. It wasn't any thing to do with winding up the of police; I don't think it was even in order to get five syllables; but on second read the need for 'of' had gone. Obviously the second line could be cut to 'offers daffodils cover'; but again, there is something enchanting both in terms of the image and the way it is expressed.
 

Greyson

Senior Member
I like this kin d of haiku that is not too fixed on count. At first I wanted 'how kind of a tree'. It wasn't any thing to do with winding up the of police; I don't think it was even in order to get five syllables; but on second read the need for 'of' had gone. Obviously the second line could be cut to 'offers daffodils cover'; but again, there is something enchanting both in terms of the image and the way it is expressed.
thank you! finally figured out how to unlock my account on here so i can finally respond :) i tend to think haiku in english should feel free to do away with the 5-7-...our language just doesn't read the same as japanese. so i aim to provide the image they're known for and feel the pulse of how the syllables come in japanese. sometimes it works out like here :) i appreciate your thoughts always pulse, thanks for stopping by!
 
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