Where Do The Commas Go Here? - Page 2


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Thread: Where Do The Commas Go Here?

  1. #11
    Quote Originally Posted by Phil Istine View Post
    I get you now - that could portray such a focal character quite well. That's one reason why critiquing snippets can be fraught - not knowing enough about the type of character the author is writing about. Mea culpa, because you only asked about commas
    LOL. Yeah, I do realise. That's why I often specify what I'm looking for. It very rarely works as intended though ...

    I actually added a little to the post above to demonstrate the tone I'm going for.
    Craft / Draft / Graft And Write To Entertain.

  2. #12
    Quote Originally Posted by TheMightyAz View Post
    LOL. Yeah, I do realise. That's why I often specify what I'm looking for. It very rarely works as intended though ...

    I actually added a little to the post above to demonstrate the tone I'm going for.

    Much to my chagrine, I see you gave a brief summary of the focal character in an earlier post, and I missed it. I must try harder


  3. #13
    Quote Originally Posted by Phil Istine View Post
    Much to my chagrine, I see you gave a brief summary of the focal character in an earlier post, and I missed it. I must try harder
    I upgraded from Mickey Spillane though. I find Chandler more colourful.
    Craft / Draft / Graft And Write To Entertain.

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