The streets of no money


Results 1 to 7 of 7

Thread: The streets of no money

  1. #1
    Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2020
    Location
    Knottingley West Yorkshire
    Posts
    69

    The streets of no money

    I've been to cities and towns around this land, the people with no hope
    are scattered far and wide.
    No matter where the surrounds,
    in poor and affluent places,
    the destitution abounds.

    Why oh why is this occurring,
    in this so-called land of plenty.
    It's not just politicians or media,
    responsible for vilifing
    those less fortunate.
    It's us. Joe public that denies them
    the chance to better themselves.
    Through ignorance and by thinking
    it's nothing to do with me.

    I've been to cities and towns around this land,
    the people with no hope
    are scattered far and wide.
    No matter where the surrounds,
    in poor and affluent places,
    destitution abounds.


    There is hope if people
    only open their eyes and hearts,
    to what is happening around.
    Society needs to embrace all it's ails,
    as it's a reflection of things gone wrong.
    Each individual can end up in the same place.
    If we fall from the tightrope of life.

    I've been to cities and towns around this land,
    the people with no hope
    are scattered far and wide.
    No matter where the surrounds,
    in poor and afluent places,
    the destitution abounds.
    Last edited by knottla; March 3rd, 2021 at 05:07 PM.

  2. #2
    thanks for the read, excellent message, could you drop the before destitution?

  3. #3
    I like it! I think there are a few superfluous words (and a few misspelled), which I crossed out. Other than that, just get The Funk Brothers to back your vocals and you'll have a hit!

    Quote Originally Posted by knottla View Post
    I've been to cities and towns around this land, the people with no hope
    are scattered far and wide.
    No matter where the surrounds,
    in poor and affluent places,
    the destitution abounds.

    Why oh why is this occurring,
    in this so-called land of plenty.
    It's not just politicians or media,
    responsible for vilifying
    those less fortunate.
    It's us. Joe public that denies them
    the chance to better themselves.
    Through ignorance and by thinking
    it's nothing to do with me.

    I've been to cities and towns around this land,
    the people with no hope
    are scattered far and wide.
    No matter where the surrounds,
    in poor and affluent places,
    the destitution abounds.


    There is hope if people
    only open their eyes and hearts,
    to what is happening around.
    Society needs to embrace all it's ails,
    as it's a reflection of things gone wrong.
    Each individual can end up in the same place.
    If we fall from the tightrope of life.

    I've been to cities and towns around this land,
    the people with no hope
    are scattered far and wide.
    No matter where the surrounds,
    in poor and affluent places,
    the destitution abounds.
    "He's done more damage with a pen than others have with a pistol."
    Re: Federico García Lorca

  4. #4
    Lines desperately waiting to be heard as song. Inspiring and melodious poem or a song. From your this poem, I have realised that certain themes, especially inspirational ones, better work in beats. I too have written something as inspirational, but now I have realised, if I want it to echo, it needs to have the rhythm and beats of a song.

    I just loved reading it.
    Keep writing.

    Ritu

  5. #5
    Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2020
    Location
    Knottingley West Yorkshire
    Posts
    69
    Thank you so much for reading and giving your opinion. This poem ( song) was inspired by Ralph Mctell and his song The Streets of London.

  6. #6
    Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2020
    Location
    Knottingley West Yorkshire
    Posts
    69
    Thank you for your comments about using superfluous words. I do tend to ramble on instead of finding a finish. you r suggestion of who to have record it, is something I never expected.

  7. #7
    Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2020
    Location
    Knottingley West Yorkshire
    Posts
    69
    Thank you dannyboy for reading and pointing out about the (the). Duly done.

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
This website uses cookies
We use cookies to store session information to facilitate remembering your login information, to allow you to save website preferences, to personalise content and ads, to provide social media features and to analyse our traffic. We also share information about your use of our site with our social media, advertising and analytics partners.