The Carter:


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Thread: The Carter:

  1. #1

    The Carter:

    edit 1

    Pulls the wagon
    wood threatening to burst, cart chocked
    with femurs and skulls, remains
    removed from clogged cemeteries
    to a new place of rest; even dead crowd
    in silence louder than car horns,
    strident as fingernails on chalkboards.

    Dressed in white
    that glows in subterranean city
    works through the days beneath the workers
    who work through days; has no sun
    until a returns upstairs to sleep,
    instead the gentle hum of carbide, the sound
    of wooden wheels across limestone.

    Leads the cart
    deeper into the labyrinth; carries
    the rejected who had no coins for Kharon
    and must travel by road instead. Wears a hat
    and smock as if an artist, searches
    for the site of the next great masterpiece
    the ink the years, the brush the finality of death.


    ************************************************

    Who is this man? Pulls the wagon
    wooden wheels, the cart chocked
    with femurs and skulls, the remains
    removed from the clogged cemeteries
    to a new place of rest; even the dead crowd
    their silence louder than car horns,
    strident as voices can only desire to be.

    Who is this man? Dressed in white
    so that he glows in the subterranean city
    working through the days beneath the workers
    working through their days; he has no sun
    until he returns upstairs to sleep,
    instead the gentle hum of carbide, the sound
    of wooden wheels across limestone.

    Who is this man? Leads the cart of the dead
    deeper into the labyrinth as if carrying
    the rejected who had no coins for Kharon
    and must travel by road instead; he wears a hat
    and white smock as if an artist, searches
    for the site of his next great masterpiece
    the ink the years, the bristles the finality of death.
    Last edited by dannyboy; March 6th, 2021 at 11:34 PM.

  2. #2
    Hello,

    I like this piece a lot, I hope you donít mind Iíve made a few suggestions below, just to see if you could make the reading of this more streamlined.

    Cheers
    Syd




    Quote Originally Posted by dannyboy View Post

    Who is this man? Pulls the wagon
    wooden wheels, the cart chocked
    with femurs and skulls, the remains
    removed from the clogged cemeteries
    to a new place of rest; even the dead crowd
    their silence louder than car horns,
    strident as voices can only desire to be.

    Who is this man? Dressed in white
    so that he glows in the subterranean city
    working through the days beneath the workers
    working through their days; he has no sun
    until he returns upstairs to sleep,
    instead the gentle hum of carbide, the sound
    of wooden wheels across limestone.

    Who is this man? Leads the cart of the dead
    deeper into the labyrinth as if carrying
    the rejected who had no coins for Kharon
    and must travel by road instead; he wears a hat
    and white smock as if an artist, searches
    for the site of his next great masterpiece
    the ink the years, the bristles the finality of death.

  3. #3
    Yes, good thought Syd, I'll play around with it today. The who is this man comes from my first response to a photograph, probably only I need to know that.

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