Does this complex of scenes work?

[Puellamagi]

t

[TheMightyAz]

edit

[Puellamagi]

This is an opening sequence of the novel. I am presenting the world and a heroine to a reader. In this scene she is completely alone against the weight of the world, so no dialogue is available.

[TheMightyAz]

This is an opening sequence of the novel. I am presenting the world and a heroine to a reader. In this scene she is completely alone against the weight of the world, so no dialogue is available.

So the first sentence is the very first sentence of the story?

[Puellamagi]

No. We have another scene before. Where Alle climbs up the Tower's pinnacle. So we already can imagine what is inside the Tower: a gothic kingdom of industry, a machine realm where machines works on their own in the halls of stone under the pointed arches and cross vaults.

[TheMightyAz]

No. We have another scene before. Where Alle climbs up the Tower's pinnacle. So we already can imagine what is inside the Tower: a gothic kingdom of industry, a machine realm where machines works on their own in the halls of stone under the pointed arches and cross vaults.

Ah, OK. Have you got dialogue and less dense ideas in the previous sections? If so, I'd not worry about it.

[Puellamagi]

.

[-xXx-]

first rights caution
points to workshop
quick deletion of post content by both posters requested?



WF is just the best place ever!
sorry.
as you were....

[TheMightyAz]

edit

I'd personally lose 'funeral' there. This may be better off in the Workshop area because I'm sure you'll get a lot of great feedback and there's lots to unpack. A good opening sentence too.