Thoughts on my Heroine having a Tubal Ligation vs. Abortion?

[MorganaPendragon25]

I've been thinking a lot about my heroine lately and of course one thing on her agenda that I want to push is her being childfree (doesn't want kids...ever!). I think her not wanting kids is relatively important to her storyline since she is an only-child and the "last" of her royal bloodline. Secretly, although she loves her family...she wants to end her bloodline. I want to show readers how serious she is about this, I think the best way to possibly show that is for her to have a tubal ligation (sterilization surgery). There is a scene where she reflects on all of her body's battle scars and apparently tubal ligation leaves small scars on a woman's abdomen. I want my readers to know my heroine's decision is permanent. I think her having a tubal ligation is safer approach for my audience, if she were to accidentally get pregnant and have an abortion (which is also a serious statement how she doesn't want kids), I think a lot of readers who are pro-life would have a problem with her character. I think abortion is a right women deserve to have, I find it strange how some people have a problem with it. Her body, her choice.

You know, I don't want this to be a massive deal just a subtle and quiet matter. My heroine being childfree is a huge part of who she is and her lifestyle. Of course, I don't have to write her about having a tubal ligation or anything like that. Could simply write a scene where she has a conversation and says "absolutely not" when asked if she wants kids, and that's it. But I find a lot of comfort in when she begins to treasure her body's scars. If she got scars from a possibly sterilization surgery, that is something that can add to who she is. And of course, some people who would want her to continue her family's precious bloodline, they'd have a problem with her. Does she keep it a secret or does it blow up to be a huge deal? Could see interesting ways her story could go if she were trying to keep her sterilization surgery a secret (because she knows she'll get a ton of shit for it) and someone who wants her to have kids finds out.

Thoughts, tips, and advice on this?

[Taylor]

I like the tubal ligation concept. And yes, I would stay away from abortion if possible. I know you have your own views, but for some people it is not that simple, so why alienate those readers?

I have a friend who did a tubal ligation at a young age because she didn't want children. I never really understood it at the time. I thought she might regret it and that she should just use birth control to keep the option open, but I learned over time it made her feel whole. It was a big part of her well-being. She never did regret it. I admire her for it. Also, it's fairly unusual that women do this before having any children, so I think it could give your character some depth. Plus all the intrigue of her keeping it secret. It could form a good part of your plot, especially the bloodline thing...that’s really unique.

I have been thinking of a similar situation for the love interest of my MC. He had a vasectomy early on before having any children. She has to come to terms with it and how it will affect their future. But I struggle like you to assess if that will cause a lack of empathy for the character. Ah...but therein lies the challenge of good writing. To create likeable characters that are not stereotypes.

[Bloggsworth]

Do you have to be specific about methodology, even if she just says she does not want children, it will put someone's back up...

[MorganaPendragon25]

I like the tubal ligation concept. And yes, I would stay away from abortion if possible. I know you have your own views, but for some people it is not that simple, so why alienate those readers?

I have a friend who did a tubal ligation at a young age because she didn't want children. I never really understood it at the time. I thought she might regret it and that she should just use birth control to keep the option open, but I learned over time it made her feel whole. It was a big part of her well-being. She never did regret it. I admire her for it. Also, it's fairly unusual that women do this before having any children, so I think it could give your character some depth. Plus all the intrigue of her keeping it secret. It could form a good part of your plot, especially the bloodline thing...that’s really unique.

I have been thinking of a similar situation for the love interest of my MC. He had a vasectomy early on before having any children. She has to come to terms with it and how it will affect their future. But I struggle like you to assess if that will cause a lack of empathy for the character. Ah...but therein lies the challenge of good writing. To create likeable characters that are not stereotypes.

Thank you for your kind words! <3 So awesome to hear about your friend who got a tubal ligation! Sounds like she's living a great life!

That would be interesting situation for your MC and he has a female lover as you say. It would be interesting for readers to know that our hero/heroine won't have any children because of their own persona decision. Not sure about the whole lack of empathy bit for our lead characters. But yes, creating likable character that are not stereotypes...it's a great challenge for us to seek and overcome.

[MorganaPendragon25]

Do you have to be specific about methodology, even if she just says she does not want children, it will put someone's back up...

I'm sorry? It will put someone's back up? Not sure what you mean about that bit. Do you think if my audience knows my heroine will never have any children (or she just plain says it "I'm never having any children"), would that make some readers stop reading her story? I would find that a bit strange. No author can please all of their readers. Just think, there are millions of childfree women and men around the world that would absolutely love to read a heroine like mine. I'm not writing my heroine's story to please parents or anything like that. All of us humans come from many different walks of life, we are all very different from one to the other.

[Bloggsworth]

I'm sorry? It will put someone's back up? Not sure what you mean about that bit. Do you think if my audience knows my heroine will never have any children (or she just plain says it "I'm never having any children"), would that make some readers stop reading her story? I would find that a bit strange. No author can please all of their readers. Just think, there are millions of childfree women and men around the world that would absolutely love to read a heroine like mine. I'm not writing my heroine's story to please parents or anything like that. All of us humans come from many different walks of life, we are all very different from one to the other.

You don't have to be overt about it, something on the lines of:

"Any children?"

"None planned at the moment" would cover it, she's deliberately leaving the question open to the possibility so that she doesn't have to get into a discussion about it. In these times people get offended by their own imaginations if you say the wrong word...

[MorganaPendragon25]

You don't have to be overt about it, something on the lines of:

"Any children?"

"None planned at the moment" would cover it, she's deliberately leaving the question open to the possibility so that she doesn't have to get into a discussion about it. In these times people get offended by their own imaginations if you say the wrong word...

So people will get offended by my heroine making her own personal choice of getting sterilized or even just saying "Never having kids" (shutting the door on the topic)? She wouldn't say "None planned at the moment" that would be out of character for her to say it that way. She would shut it down pretty quick. I get your point though, childfree women put up with a bunch of BS and people say they will change their mind...my character would probably be tired of lengthy discussions regarding it.

In general, people these days need to grow a thicker skin and open their minds more. People will get offended by the simplest things, especially in good ole' America.

[Llyralen]

Dude... it is NOT about the method. It is about setting up WHY she doesn't want kids in the first place. Just her putting up a fight in her situation shows she is serious but thats not...

I said I was done and I forgot that I was. Done.