breakfast


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Thread: breakfast

  1. #1

    breakfast

    breakfast

    the egg
    fragile
    thin shelled
    runny inside
    yet it sits in its cup
    commanding soldiers
    unaware
    soon
    its head will be smashed in
    and all will have their fill
    'I don't know what I'm doing'

  2. #2
    Hello,

    This is great, it evokes the image of Humpty Dumpty but with a more sinister twist. I almost feel sorry for the egg reading this, despite knowing full well that they have played a big part in their own downfall.

    Cheers

    Syd

  3. #3
    I have to ask, because as a non-native speaker I am wondering about those soldiers. Do you mean what is called in one of my languages "broodsoldaatjes" = "bread soldiers?"
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  4. #4
    Quote Originally Posted by petergrimes View Post
    breakfast

    the egg
    fragile
    thin shelled
    runny inside
    yet it sits in its cup
    commanding soldiers
    unaware
    soon
    its head will be smashed in
    and all will have their fill
    Hi,

    Great words, this made me think.
    Sometimes this is the price we pay to feed the ones we love.

    J.

  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by petergrimes View Post
    breakfast

    the egg
    fragile
    thin shelled
    runny inside
    yet it sits in its cup
    commanding soldiers
    unaware
    soon
    its head will be smashed in
    and all will have their fill
    While your breakfast gently weeps.

    I like this! Good stuff.
    Craft / Draft / Graft And Write To Entertain.

  6. #6
    Hi guys - sorry to be late, illness and cricket are my best excuses, but being disorganised, feckless and daft probably played an equal part.

    Alright Syd - cheers mate, much appreciated, thank you. Yes I found this one in one of my open office docs. I hadn't thought to post it but it was too topical to resist (I think it was the day of the inauguration). I like what you say about Humpty dumpty and a sinister twist. Thanks for taking a look, very much appreciated, cheers Syd, ta ra a bit PG

    Hello Darren - alright mate, cheers for taking a look. Yes they are bread soldiers for dippy egg, I don't think they would do well in battle unless imbibed with some Dutch courage. Or a speech laden with sophistry, no, scrap that, just plain incendiary lies. So yes they are slices of bread that I used to dip in my egg when I was but a sprog. I do prefer your tongues version though, interesting extra connotations when read as English, brood-soldiers. Cheers for that, hope thee are well, all the best, cheers mate PG

    Hi JK nice to meet you. Thanks for reading my poem. I really like your take on it, really like it. i hadn't thought on it directly in those terms so I really appreciate that. Its great when another finds something else, shines a different light or sums up another strand I perhaps hadn't fully considered and brings something new to one of my poems. I often leave them much more open than this and have been amazed by peoples perspectives and insights, how their personal lived experience casts the whole thing in a way I could never have imagined. It's an excellent observation by yourself. Cheers I'm grateful for that. I look forwards to looking at some of your poems. Anyway nice to meet you, I hope you enjoy WF. All the best to you and yours. Cheers JK, all the best ta ra a bit PG

    Alright Mighty Az - quality name, will help my continued campaign to convince Nephews that I know super heroes. Nice to meet you, I've read some of your poems and really liked them. I would have commented but have been crook. Nice to see thee on WF. Thanks for reading it and your comments. A guitar springs to mind. I don't eat breakfast, haven't for years. It's elitist, everyone harking on about it being the most important meal of the day has given it delusions of grandeur. Eggs are the worst, have to be 'free range' nowadays, whilst everyone and all are in lockdown. Rules don't apply to them, think they can get away with murder. It was this deep and entirely rational hatred of eggs that lead me to write this poem. Sorry I talk rubbish. I'm just being yampy, pay no heed. Thanks for taking a look at my poem, great to see you on WF. Hope you're well Mighty Az, ta ra a bit, cheers pG

    'I don't know what I'm doing'

  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by petergrimes View Post
    Hi guys - sorry to be late, illness and cricket are my best excuses, but being disorganised, feckless and daft probably played an equal part.

    Alright Syd - cheers mate, much appreciated, thank you. Yes I found this one in one of my open office docs. I hadn't thought to post it but it was too topical to resist (I think it was the day of the inauguration). I like what you say about Humpty dumpty and a sinister twist. Thanks for taking a look, very much appreciated, cheers Syd, ta ra a bit PG

    Hello Darren - alright mate, cheers for taking a look. Yes they are bread soldiers for dippy egg, I don't think they would do well in battle unless imbibed with some Dutch courage. Or a speech laden with sophistry, no, scrap that, just plain incendiary lies. So yes they are slices of bread that I used to dip in my egg when I was but a sprog. I do prefer your tongues version though, interesting extra connotations when read as English, brood-soldiers. Cheers for that, hope thee are well, all the best, cheers mate PG

    Hi JK nice to meet you. Thanks for reading my poem. I really like your take on it, really like it. i hadn't thought on it directly in those terms so I really appreciate that. Its great when another finds something else, shines a different light or sums up another strand I perhaps hadn't fully considered and brings something new to one of my poems. I often leave them much more open than this and have been amazed by peoples perspectives and insights, how their personal lived experience casts the whole thing in a way I could never have imagined. It's an excellent observation by yourself. Cheers I'm grateful for that. I look forwards to looking at some of your poems. Anyway nice to meet you, I hope you enjoy WF. All the best to you and yours. Cheers JK, all the best ta ra a bit PG

    Alright Mighty Az - quality name, will help my continued campaign to convince Nephews that I know super heroes. Nice to meet you, I've read some of your poems and really liked them. I would have commented but have been crook. Nice to see thee on WF. Thanks for reading it and your comments. A guitar springs to mind. I don't eat breakfast, haven't for years. It's elitist, everyone harking on about it being the most important meal of the day has given it delusions of grandeur. Eggs are the worst, have to be 'free range' nowadays, whilst everyone and all are in lockdown. Rules don't apply to them, think they can get away with murder. It was this deep and entirely rational hatred of eggs that lead me to write this poem. Sorry I talk rubbish. I'm just being yampy, pay no heed. Thanks for taking a look at my poem, great to see you on WF. Hope you're well Mighty Az, ta ra a bit, cheers pG
    Hi Peter ,

    Youíre welcome, nice to meet you, thank you for sharing and your kind words.
    Iíll look forward to reading more of your work.
    Itís funny how we feed off of each otherís writing. Bringing new words and fresh ideas to new or current work.

    Thank you again.

    J.

  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by petergrimes View Post
    Hi guys - sorry to be late, illness and cricket are my best excuses, but being disorganised, feckless and daft probably played an equal part.

    Alright Syd - cheers mate, much appreciated, thank you. Yes I found this one in one of my open office docs. I hadn't thought to post it but it was too topical to resist (I think it was the day of the inauguration). I like what you say about Humpty dumpty and a sinister twist. Thanks for taking a look, very much appreciated, cheers Syd, ta ra a bit PG

    Hello Darren - alright mate, cheers for taking a look. Yes they are bread soldiers for dippy egg, I don't think they would do well in battle unless imbibed with some Dutch courage. Or a speech laden with sophistry, no, scrap that, just plain incendiary lies. So yes they are slices of bread that I used to dip in my egg when I was but a sprog. I do prefer your tongues version though, interesting extra connotations when read as English, brood-soldiers. Cheers for that, hope thee are well, all the best, cheers mate PG

    Hi JK nice to meet you. Thanks for reading my poem. I really like your take on it, really like it. i hadn't thought on it directly in those terms so I really appreciate that. Its great when another finds something else, shines a different light or sums up another strand I perhaps hadn't fully considered and brings something new to one of my poems. I often leave them much more open than this and have been amazed by peoples perspectives and insights, how their personal lived experience casts the whole thing in a way I could never have imagined. It's an excellent observation by yourself. Cheers I'm grateful for that. I look forwards to looking at some of your poems. Anyway nice to meet you, I hope you enjoy WF. All the best to you and yours. Cheers JK, all the best ta ra a bit PG

    Alright Mighty Az - quality name, will help my continued campaign to convince Nephews that I know super heroes. Nice to meet you, I've read some of your poems and really liked them. I would have commented but have been crook. Nice to see thee on WF. Thanks for reading it and your comments. A guitar springs to mind. I don't eat breakfast, haven't for years. It's elitist, everyone harking on about it being the most important meal of the day has given it delusions of grandeur. Eggs are the worst, have to be 'free range' nowadays, whilst everyone and all are in lockdown. Rules don't apply to them, think they can get away with murder. It was this deep and entirely rational hatred of eggs that lead me to write this poem. Sorry I talk rubbish. I'm just being yampy, pay no heed. Thanks for taking a look at my poem, great to see you on WF. Hope you're well Mighty Az, ta ra a bit, cheers pG
    Nice to meet you too. I'm not really into poetry that much myself. I just started writing them to fill in between writing fiction. To keep my hand in so to speak. My true love is ... (boring I know) sentence structure. I aint no natural and certainly not educated. If it looks good, sounds good and conveys what I want, I'm happy (ish).
    Craft / Draft / Graft And Write To Entertain.

  9. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by Jk_Sl View Post
    Hi Peter ,

    Youíre welcome, nice to meet you, thank you for sharing and your kind words.
    Iíll look forward to reading more of your work.
    Itís funny how we feed off of each otherís writing. Bringing new words and fresh ideas to new or current work.

    Thank you again.

    J.
    Hi JK, no worries, I'm afraid I post most of my work in the workshop and on the other one so its rare I put up anything on here. But thanks for the thought, loads of them aren't so good but if you search around a bit there a few few alright ones here and there. Yes its really cool when others bring a fresh perspective to a poem I've written, you're doing the right thing commenting and getting involved with all the other poets work. It really helped me when I first started writing and you get fresh ideas and on occasion can make some really top friends. All the best. Cheers JK, all the best PG
    'I don't know what I'm doing'

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by TheMightyAz View Post
    Nice to meet you too. I'm not really into poetry that much myself. I just started writing them to fill in between writing fiction. To keep my hand in so to speak. My true love is ... (boring I know) sentence structure. I aint no natural and certainly not educated. If it looks good, sounds good and conveys what I want, I'm happy (ish).
    Dear Mr Mighty Az, I came on here for i was writing a book and had no interest in poetry whatsoever. Had never read or written any since school. To be honest I thought it were a load of (use your imagination) then I wrote a couple for a laugh and really got into it. I've written one piece of fiction since, BEWARE, it will suck you in and take over your life. I didn't really do education when I was younger but I've taught myself lots since school times, many qualifications are overrated. Weirdly writing poetry has really improved my writing massively. The people on here are really good at helping and i've learned loads really quickly (although there's still far far more i don't know than I do). I just like having fun with it. Anyways nice to speak with you. The fiction workshops good and people are always happy to go out of their way to help. Best of luck with all you do. Take it easy duck, ta ra a bit PG
    'I don't know what I'm doing'

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