Hey Those Men There


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Thread: Hey Those Men There

  1. #1

    Hey Those Men There

    Hey those men there,
    with certain kind of perspective.
    Why do you all ultimately,
    Turn out to be the same,
    at the end trying to show,
    that mask you are wearing,
    Is, actually your face of a savior.
    That when you love a woman,
    you feel that, she should be cared
    protected, that way,
    And when you brutalise her, rape her,
    thow acid over her.
    You try to make her sin free that way.
    Who gave you that degree, that license?
    Why are you always, so sure of your words,
    and feasibility of your acts?

    Ritu Dimri Nautiyal
    Last edited by ritudimrinautiyal; January 16th, 2021 at 05:32 PM. Reason: Incorporating suggestions of keen reader and poet Syd

  2. #2
    Quote Originally Posted by ritudimrinautiyal View Post

    Hey those men there,
    with certain kind of perspective.
    Why do you all ultimately, I think you need a word like do here
    Turn out to be the same? Again I feel like you need a ? here
    at the end trying to show,
    that mask you are wearing,
    Is, actually your the face of a savior.
    That when you love a woman,
    you feel that, she should be cared
    protected, that way,
    And when you brutalise her, rape her,
    Put acid over her.
    You try to make her sin free that way.
    Who gave you that degree, that license?
    That why are you always so sure of, Iíd swap things around here
    feasibility of your acts,
    your words, your silence!!! I would lose the !!! It kind of sits funny following silence

    Ritu Dimri Nautiyal
    Hello, I like this a lot, itís a potent piece that says a lot in a very small space. Iíve made a few comments in line for you,

    Hope this helps

    Cheers

    Syd

  3. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by 2020Syd2020 View Post
    Hello, I like this a lot, it’s a potent piece that says a lot in a very small space. I’ve made a few comments in line for you,

    Hope this helps

    Cheers

    Syd
    Hi Syd.
    I will incorporate your suggestions. Thanks a lot.

    Good luck
    Ritu

  4. #4
    The patriarchy!
    These pieces need to be out in the world more.
    Thank you.

    -Annie

  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Annie. Marie View Post
    The patriarchy!
    These pieces need to be out in the world more.
    Thank you.

    -Annie
    Yes Annie, you are right.
    Thanks for appreciating
    Good luck
    Ritu

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