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Thread: Fly

  1. #1
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    Fly

    So there am I,
    a blameless guy,
    when this tiny fly
    flies in my eye!
    ****! sez I,
    you effing fly.

    Itís drowning in my runny eye
    so with a mirror nearby
    I wipe and swipe and poke and pry.
    It proves elusive, dead or shy.
    Listen, effing fly, growls I, Ė
    Iím like that Liam Neeson guy,
    youíre gutsy, that I canít deny,
    but if you mess with such as I,
    Iíll hunt you down and you will die.

    Frustrations start to multiply,
    Iím crankier than Captain Bligh,
    Iíll get you effing fly, I cry,
    very loudly asking why
    it had to pick my effing eye
    in which to go and effing die.


    Twenty minutes on I sigh,
    peering at the lifeless fly,
    extricated, high and dry.
    I killed it with a single eye.

    My fingertip held briefly nigh,
    I flick the tiny corpse goodbye
    To read more of my poems buy this fat book. Rescued from Oblivion at Hidden Content


  2. #2
    The Fox Smith's Avatar
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    I thought this had a nice sense of rhythm and flow.

    Your rhyme scheme gave it a comedic effect for me. Fun concept, albeit it made me cringe a few times because I *hate* when I get something in my eye! Well done.
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    Self-proclaimed weeb. Reclaim the word.

  3. #3

  4. #4
    Quote Originally Posted by Dylan di Vilde View Post
    So there am I,
    a blameless guy,
    when this tiny fly
    flies in my eye!
    ****! sez I,
    you effing fly.

    Itís drowning in my runny eye
    so with a mirror nearby
    I wipe and swipe and poke and pry.
    It proves elusive, dead or shy.
    Listen, effing fly, growls I, Ė
    Iím like that Liam Neeson guy,
    youíre gutsy, that I canít deny,
    but if you mess with such as I,
    Iíll hunt you down and you will die.

    Frustrations start to multiply,
    Iím crankier than Captain Bligh,
    Iíll get you effing fly, I cry,
    very loudly asking why
    it had to pick my effing eye
    in which to go and effing die.


    Twenty minutes on I sigh,
    peering at the lifeless fly,
    extricated, high and dry.
    I killed it with a single eye.

    My fingertip held briefly nigh,
    I flick the tiny corpse goodbye

    I love EVERYTHING about this witty poem, you used the PERFECT rhyme scheme and poetic voice to give this a fabulous vibe... Dr. Seuss would be jealous .... I still am a fan of his kid's books, my fave.."Sam I Am"... First stanza set the tone and mood and you carried it all the way through, you did not miss a beat, hopefully you will grant us another poetic treat.... Sounds like you had fun writing this.... Thanks for sharing...
    She lost herself in the trees,
    among the ever-changing leaves.
    She wept beneath the wild sky
    as stars told stories of ancient times.
    The flowers grew toward her light,
    the river called her name at night.
    She could not live an ordinary life,
    with the mysteries of the universe
    hidden in her eyes....
    Author: Christy Ann Martine

    Death leaves a heartache no one can heal,
    love leaves a memory no one can steal....
    Author unknown.

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