Senryu 6


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  1. #1

    Senryu 6



    backyard-on-sea
    new holiday destination
    UV lamp ordered


    this poem was inspired after listening to the whining Brits complaining because the uk imposed 14 day quarantine restrictions on their return from Portugal to the uk. We are in the middle of a pandemic

    Last edited by PiP; September 19th, 2020 at 10:39 PM.
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  2. #2
    Sometimes I can be very dense- even with your explanation I don't completely comprehend this. I'm assuming that now backyards (due to the quarantines and covid) is the new holiday vacation spot- the uv lights is for tanning and we lay in the backyard visualizing that we are on the beach.

    I Don't get the back-yard-on the sea completely. This seems like a complicated senryu with those dashes-
    Nature weeps, the devil sings
    at mans greed and pride
    and what it brings

    Just lots of useless
    little things

  3. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by rcallaci View Post
    Sometimes I can be very dense- even with your explanation I don't completely comprehend this. I'm assuming that now backyards (due to the quarantines and covid) is the new holiday vacation spot- the uv lights is for tanning and we lay in the backyard visualizing that we are on the beach.
    Yes.

    It must be a British joke.

    We are going to the Bahamas this year for our hols. Where are you going?

    Backyard-on-sea

    There are towns in the UK which have the place name like Burnham which becomes Brunham -on-sea
    https://www.burnham-on-sea.com/

    The UV lamp is for the tan and the fact it rains a lot in the UK and people go on holiday for the sun.

    I Don't get the back-yard-on the sea completely. This seems like a complicated senryu with those dashes
    I mispelt backyard.

    I think I need to rewrite this because it's to parochial
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  4. #4
    back-yard-on sea is what confused me - got it now- but British humor sometimes goes over my head- now cowboy humor that's another story...
    Nature weeps, the devil sings
    at mans greed and pride
    and what it brings

    Just lots of useless
    little things

  5. #5

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by TL Murphy View Post
    It means you have to use your imagination.
    sometimes my imagination gets stuck in neutral
    Nature weeps, the devil sings
    at mans greed and pride
    and what it brings

    Just lots of useless
    little things

  7. #7
    What do you think of this Carol:

    backyard-on-sea
    new holiday compensation
    heat lamp on order

  8. #8
    Tim, I like the second line better but the third line changes the meaning. A heat lamp and UV lamp are not the same. And most Brits will 'cook' in the sun for hours so they go home with a tan.

    Would it matter if the syllable count in the last line was 6 instead of 5?

    UV lamp on order
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  9. #9
    the syllable count isn’t so important but less is better than more.

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by TL Murphy View Post
    the syllable count isn’t so important but less is better than more.
    I read somewhere that Haiku should be read in one breath so if that is the case, less is better
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