Driving out Daisies

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Thread: Driving out Daisies

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2020
    The North
    Blog Entries

    Driving out Daisies

    If you’re thinking of scrimping and saving
    to replace your front garden with paving
    ‘cos your parking space then will be double
    and nature’s just far too much trouble
    just think about whether it’s worth
    destroying this small bit of Earth.

    From wriggling invertebrates to creatures with wings
    and all sorts of multi-limbed, dark, crawly things
    inter-reliant for growing and feeding,
    part of the circle of living and breeding.
    And all of the flowering foliage here
    which magically dies and comes back every year.

    That wonder of nature will no longer be
    when your garden resembles an NCP.
    You may be content with the landscape you’ve got
    as you plonk down a lone token plant in a pot
    but the birds and the bees will have packed up and fled-
    their natural habitat sterile and dead.
    But you’re happy your Hybrid is right by the door
    and you won’t have to mow that old lawn any more.

    So onward and wide the development spreads
    as mowers and shears lie rusting in sheds
    and even those people professing to care
    are probably thinking: There’s plenty to spare.

    But in time you may wonder and think that it’s weird
    how the birds flew away and the bees disappeared.
    Then the skies will fall silent and no plant or tree
    will be left in the wastes of the vast concrete sea.
    Rescued from Oblivion –all my poems now in one fat book. Available now at Hidden Content

  2. #2
    You have a nice bouncy rhyme in this poem. It was easy to read and I've a few suggestions, take them as you will, it's your poem.

    S3L2: I'm not familiar with NCP wondering if you were forcing the rhyme here?
    S3L4: I don't think you need both lone and token
    S3L5: remove but
    S3L7: Why is Hybrid capitalized?

    S4: Remove the first word in each line.

    S5L1: Remove But.
    S5L2: Change how to that.

    A good very solid poem. Thanks for sharing.
    "Illegitimi non carborundum " Vinegar' Joe Stilwell

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    What you learn in life is important, those you help learn, are more important.

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    ​ Mark Twain

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