Crimson Sky

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Thread: Crimson Sky

  1. #1

    Crimson Sky

    We loved the sunrises
    as long as they
    painted the sky crimson.
    Holding hands,
    eating ice creams,
    we sat there,
    looking beyond the horizon.
    We shared kisses in the rain,
    And you said
    I looked beautiful,
    How your quivering hands
    found solace in mine,
    And how my smile
    looked the prettiest.
    You held me
    until your flight took off
    And the crimson sky
    tuned blue.
    I walked to the place wed sit
    and waited.
    You never came and my heart ached.
    I felt the strings break,
    The rains felt better than the sun
    But the sky never turned crimson again.
    You came again.
    And if you wanted
    you could see that smile
    That you chose not to.
    You held another hand,
    You saw another smile,
    You painted your sky crimson again,
    And, mine stayed blue.
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  2. #2
    I enjoyed the metaphors. Turning the sky red or blue which has symbolism because of the color which is very strong imagery. Color is a strong symbol. Munich 's painting the scream used red to great efect. It has nothing to do with heartbreak or love. It has to do with other things such as violence, maybe death. Red is a strong color. If anything colors have a lot of symbolism. The person is choosing a color which means many more things. Maybe I think the title reveals a lot. Also your poems subject I wished were more original than I would encounter probably when reading such a poem. I am new at critiquing poems. That said I think I felt the emotions. A small humble tip. I am a personal fan of symbolism in poetry. It's a sad poem and maybe even angry. As I am writing this I do wonder if blue sky in this case means sad. While on a 3rd reading it could mean angry in the subcontext of your poem. So I think you did justice to describing the personal experience. I wish it were more obvious some of metaphors. They are deep. That is the depth a poem's meaning can have. It varies from person to person. I did have a literature class where they discussed Munich and poetry. I even counted syllables in the class. So you know that I really did not make it up.
    I would follow as in believe in the words of good moral leaders. Rather than the beliefs of oneself.
    The most difficult thing for a writer to comprehend is to experience silence, so speak up. (quoted from a member)

  3. #3
    Fantastic frame for fairweather friendships. The difficulty the lead faced from a sudden change in this scenic slice of their life was expressed with tenderness and care. The invocation presented by the piece may provoke resentment in readers resonating closely with the scenario-- but it definitely does not seem the lead is miserably seeking company. Someone could see a silver lining, the sky colors are subjective-- the grass can be green again if you water it.

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