lucky breaks


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Thread: lucky breaks

  1. #1

    lucky breaks

    mum and dad should go first
    we should go before our kids
    the natural order of things
    but life has no order
    luck will have to play it's part
    Last edited by escorial; March 2nd, 2020 at 01:38 PM. Reason: Suggested by Olly...
    The only one who can heal you is you.




  2. #2
    Quote Originally Posted by escorial View Post
    mum and dad should go first
    we should go before our kids
    the natural order of things
    but life has shown this is not so
    luck will have to play it's part
    You seem to be saying:

    it is natural
    to die before one’s children
    but luck may disagree.

    Yes? And so....? There is no ‘and so’ following the commonplace statement. Either there has to be a follow-on, or the original statement has to be made in truly original language.

  3. #3
    May I suggest that the last two lines should be replaced with 'But nature has no order', or some such? The natural state of things is chaos.
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  4. #4
    I'm not a fan of using the same word if avoidable but order works here..thanks man
    The only one who can heal you is you.




  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by escorial View Post
    mum and dad should go first
    we should go before our kids
    the natural order of things
    but life has no order
    luck will have to play it's part
    Interesting piece, clever stuff! But where is the punctuation?

  6. #6
    I rarely use punctuation....I see it as a tool not a law(pessoa)......thanks octopus
    The only one who can heal you is you.




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