no word


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Thread: no word

  1. #1

    no word

    when a women loses a spouse
    she becomes a widow
    a man becomes a widower
    if their child dies
    there is no word?
    distraught
    lost
    emotion
    epiphany
    undefinable
    suffering
    vacant
    Last edited by escorial; February 22nd, 2020 at 12:09 PM. Reason: ? added..thanks tarra an distraught by blog
    The only one who can heal you is you.




  2. #2
    WF Veteran Bloggsworth's Avatar
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    Distraught.
    A man in possession of a wooden spoon must be in want of a pot to stir.

  3. #3
    I rather like this one. You say ‘there is no word and then give a word. May I suggest a little tightening:


    a woman
    who loses a spouse is
    a widow

    a man is
    a widower

    but
    if their child dies?

    distraught

  4. #4
    i dont think their is a word but there are many to describe the tragedy..one cud just keep adding such words...i do like the structure you have used although the a's are exposed to much....one i shal consider....
    Last edited by escorial; February 22nd, 2020 at 01:39 AM.
    The only one who can heal you is you.




  5. #5

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by Tirralirra View Post
    I rather like this one. You say ‘there is no word and then give a word. May I suggest a little tightening:


    a woman
    who loses a spouse is
    a widow

    a man is
    a widower

    but
    if their child dies?

    distraught

    Good job. "Form is content and content is form" Robert Creeley

  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Tirralirra View Post
    I rather like this one. You say ‘there is no word and then give a word. May I suggest a little tightening:


    a woman
    who loses a spouse is
    a widow

    a man is
    a widower

    but
    if their child dies?

    distraught
    The conjunction isn't needed. And the line about the child's death is stronger as a mono stitch. It even empowers the single word by creating emptiness around the child as lost without saying the word "loss" as a grievance. The starker this poem's presentation the more intense it gets. Losing a child be it mother or father it never goes away.

    escorial your original intent holds a powerful statement, but remember that space is part of the poem. Allow your images to hold their own space to encourage the reader into to the emotion you want them to have as the writer.

    a poet friend
    RH Peat

  8. #8
    widow
    widower
    what is a parent called if a child dies in the family...there is no word just a description of their sorrow.....
    The only one who can heal you is you.




  9. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by escorial View Post
    widow
    widower
    what is a parent called if a child dies in the family...there is no word just a description of their sorrow.....
    This statement is the defining of your poem. That's what you want to show but never divulge. It kills the epiphany for the reader. You want the readers to come to your well and taste your deepest water as the poem's writer. In a sense you give them the poem to feel for themselves. This leaves a lasting impression on the reader. To divulge the poem; it is soon forgotten. They are off on another journey somewhere else. You want to hold the reader to the mark and make them feel the bull's eye is on their heart. Don't tell them what to think; instead show them something to think about. This is the power of imagery as a concrete. That empowers the intent in the poem. Abstractions get lost in the confused interpretations. That's their weakness.

    a poet friend
    RH Peat

  10. #10
    escorial

    It's the antithesis between the man and woman in comparison that causes the single line of the child to pop off the page and into the lap of the reader, for that loss is truly undefinable. You should ask Clark sometime to tell you what the poet wrote for the grave stone of his dear friend's lost daughter. He can tell you the historical story about what you are writing about in your poem concerning the death of the child. But many of us have lived it in one way or another already by the time we are 77. Too many of the young die too soon.

    a poet friend
    RH Peat

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