So I rewrote that intro 6 times and I still don't like it. The narrator isn't outrageous enough...he's still tame.
I need this guy to be the antithesis of Buckaroo Bonzai.

I will let this story ferment in my mind a bit longer. I have not been writing these last few weeks. Need to recharge. My 5-year plan turned into a decade. Taking some vacation time. I'll write when I'm ready.
And when I'm ready, I will have a better story to tell.