An Icy and Snowy Day


Results 1 to 4 of 4

Thread: An Icy and Snowy Day

  1. #1

    An Icy and Snowy Day


    An Icy and Snowy Day
    Xiaoman January 12, 2020

    The north wind whistling through my firewood gate,

    Icy rain has been pouring to the village the whole day.
    Inside the house using WeChat I have been trapped,
    Hoping ice and snow will be gone tomorrow; a day of crap!
    My lunch is a cup of turbid wine with a side dish,
    Which I just microwaved: potato chips and fish.
    Alas! Who can understand my down-and-out heart?
    A poetry book accompanies me in the evening dark.


    The Village -Canada

    Sushi wrote:Going on A Spring Field Trip With Pan and Guo On Febuary 12, Composing A Poem Rhyming with The one Written Last Year the Same Day Going to The Queen’s Town

    The rhyming scheme in this one rhymes with his. Sushi, Song Dynasty, was a famous poet in the Chinese literature history.

    Sushi https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Su_Shi

    Call for submissions Hidden Content


    “奇遇” The Wonder of Encounters: A collection of short stories By Minglu Zheng

  2. #2
    Hello, xiaoman... I enjoyed reading your poem... Yes, it can be grim to be snowed in, but... you had a fire ... a bottle of wine and a perfect excuse to stay in and write poetry... not so bad after all... yes?
    She lost herself in the trees,
    among the ever-changing leaves.
    She wept beneath the wild sky
    as stars told stories of ancient times.
    The flowers grew toward her light,
    the river called her name at night.
    She could not live an ordinary life,
    with the mysteries of the universe
    hidden in her eyes....
    Author: Christy Ann Martine

    Death leaves a heartache no one can heal,
    love leaves a memory no one can steal....
    Author unknown.

  3. #3
    hello -

    Quote Originally Posted by xiaoman View Post

    An Icy and Snowy Day
    Xiaoman January 12, 2020

    The north wind whistling through my firewood gate,

    Icy rain has been pouring to the village the whole day. - whistling and pouring are cliches - use more original adverbs
    Inside the house using WeChat I have been trapped, - bad grammar -Inside our house
    Hoping ice and snow will be gone tomorrow; a day of crap! - don;t tell, show
    My lunch is a cup of turbid wine with a side dish,
    Which I just microwaved: potato chips and fish.
    Alas! Who can understand my down-and-out heart?
    A poetry book accompanies me in the evening dark. - reading in the dark? how about a torch as well?


    The Village -Canada

    Sushi wrote:Going on A Spring Field Trip With Pan and Guo On Febuary 12, Composing A Poem Rhyming with The one Written Last Year the Same Day Going to The Queen’s Town

    The rhyming scheme in this one rhymes with his. Sushi, Song Dynasty, was a famous poet in the Chinese literature history.

    Sushi https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Su_Shi

    enjoy your poetry Xia - because it comes from somewhere else - just keep it that way.....

  4. #4
    Xiaoman, greetings from a newbie here.
    I like this poem, but i cannot give you any critique of it because clearly you are writing from a tradition completely different to the one I know.
    Happy writing!

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
This website uses cookies
We use cookies to store session information to facilitate remembering your login information, to allow you to save website preferences, to personalise content and ads, to provide social media features and to analyse our traffic. We also share information about your use of our site with our social media, advertising and analytics partners.