Float Mingus & Me Away


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Thread: Float Mingus & Me Away

  1. #1

    Float Mingus & Me Away





    Something I dreamt Mingus say
    Nothing, nothing else
    I got Lost but I'm back
    With a street dream of that house


    in an ashtray heart

    A curled 16th note corkscrew

    floats there.


    Only if wed known wed lost the money halfway
    broke.
    A lesson floats in that ashtray.
    In that heart
    On that corkscrew note

  2. #2
    Hello Space Cadet ... This is a very intriguing poem with a lot of cool imagery... it sets my tiny mind spinning with possibilities.... love the dark vibe... not sure how to get from point A to B... but that is ok with me because I still enjoyed reading...

    I feel like I should be stoned while reading .... gain some clarity... maybe... OO.... love the title, what a great hook!
    She lost herself in the trees,
    among the ever-changing leaves.
    She wept beneath the wild sky
    as stars told stories of ancient times.
    The flowers grew toward her light,
    the river called her name at night.
    She could not live an ordinary life,
    with the mysteries of the universe
    hidden in her eyes....
    Author: Christy Ann Martine

    Death leaves a heartache no one can heal,
    love leaves a memory no one can steal....
    Author unknown.

  3. #3
    I really love this poem. It reminds me of some bittersweet moments in my own life.

  4. #4
    Quote Originally Posted by Firemajic View Post
    ...I feel like I should be stoned while reading .... gain some clarity... maybe... OO.... love the title, what a great hook!
    Thank you Firemajic. I think it might help. There is no rhyme or reason for me, on occasion. Thanks for reading and commenting. W

  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by JonF View Post
    I really love this poem. It reminds me of some bittersweet moments in my own life.
    Thank you, JonF. I appreciate the read and taking time to comment. Mingus is a very important figure in history and very important in my history. Thank you again. W.

  6. #6
    The way music can carry us away, like magical poetry without words. I got that from your poem, SC - aided by the fact that I love jazz and am familiar with a little of Charles Mingus's work. My son is a musician and sometimes our worlds gel in just the way you describe. Thanks for putting me in the mood for revisiting some musical favourites.
    Last edited by jenthepen; January 18th, 2020 at 09:16 PM.

  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by jenthepen View Post
    The way music can carry us away, like magical poetry without words. I got that from your poem, SC - aided by the fact that I love jazz and am familiar with a little of Charles Mingus's work. My son is a musician and sometimes our worlds gel in just the way you describe. Thanks for puting me in the mood for revisiting some musical favourites.

    I'm very glad you liked it. Thanking for reading and commenting. Musical collaboration, to me, is the most precious to attain and be able to deliver. I love it. If it's not in your life now, introduce it and you'll love it. Mingus and jazz are often a theme for me. It's something I know and enjoy. Thank you again! W

  8. #8
    Thanks for that suggestion, W. Having a 'tame' musician at my disposal, I might give that a go.

  9. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by Space Cadet View Post




    Something I dreamt Mingus say
    Nothing, nothing else
    I got Lost but I'm back
    With a street dream of that house


    in an ashtray heart

    A curled 16th note corkscrew

    floats there.


    Only if wed known wed lost the money halfway
    broke.
    A lesson floats in that ashtray.
    In that heart
    On that corkscrew note
    Ive come back to this one several times, and it raises some interesting questions about the expectations of writers and readers, and the presumption of shared background knowledge.

    My initial reaction, Im ashamed to admit, was what a load of meaningless c..p. But even with that reaction my ear (and eye) kept circling back to the corkscrew note in the ashtray heart.

    Mingus. How could I not have picked that up? It took another comment to wake me up. Im not an aficionado, but an appreciative occasional listener. Once I had woken up I could see this for the very lean and robust piece that it is, which is probably the result of a lot of hard reworking. Great job.

    So the issue is, how many clues or how much background is expected. Sure, some poems are so written as to have nigh on universal comprehensibility. Others have a more specialised reference. One cannot be all things to all people.
    As a serious poetry reader I should have been more alert to Mingus.

    Sometimes, of course, initial non-comprehension does not destroy appreciation. There is a lot in Ezra Pound that I dont understand, while still enjoying the flow of the verse.

    I suppose that in the end it is a matter of personal judgement as to how much background to put in. Clearly, too much verbiage can destroy the piece - and in the end it is the integrity of the work that must be maintained.

    Hooroo.

  10. #10
    I kept circling back to this many times, and I never destroyed it while still being able to tinker with it. I think I do that more than I think--destroy something by over editing. (Sometimes it's the opposite.) I don't think you have to know a lot about Charles Mingus. I've been adding more to this so it's less abstract but wondering if I should. I know it's not perfect, but I'd like it to be clearer. I'm working on this now, in fact. I want the imagery I originally had to be there, so I'm adding more to this. Thank you for reading and the comment. I appreciate your time. Best, W

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