Puppet Girl


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Thread: Puppet Girl

  1. #1
    Member Clnow3088's Avatar
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    Puppet Girl

    The first lyrics I've ever written. A work in progress I'm sure. Definitely a few lines that could be better. Here goes:

    One by one you built them up
    The little lies you made up
    Just to keep me in the dark.

    I didn't see the truth then
    But I guess I see it now
    You put me on a pedestal
    So I could let you down.

    You made me think I'm crazy
    You made me second guess my every move
    The memories we made then
    Are tainted by the twisted side of you.

    Bridge
    I'm trapped inside this maze
    With only gaslight to
    Show me the way

    Chorus
    I hope you're proud of your creation
    Look what you've done to me
    You'd say you played me for the fool
    But I'd call that mental abuse.

    For years and years you made me
    Your little puppet doll
    I hung on every word you said
    And didn't make a sound.

    Then the day came that you met her
    Another puppeteer
    Turns out you knew her more than I did
    I called her best friend.

    She strung me up when we were young
    I didn't have a clue
    So when you strung me up together
    There was nothing I could do.

    You stroked each other's egos
    All while dragging me along
    My evil puppet master's
    It's for you I write this song.

    Chorus
    I hope you're proud of your creation
    Look what you've done to me
    You'd say you played me for the fool
    But I'd call that mental abuse.

    Even though I'm free now
    I'm still trapped inside this maze
    With only gaslight to
    Show me the way.
    Life is not about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. -George Bernard Shaw

  2. #2
    Very personal and visceral; I can feel the conflict and pain.

    Maybe: "With only a gaslight ..."

    Not sure how I feel about the line "But I'd call that mental abuse." It doesn't seem to flow with the rest of the chorus, and when most of the song uses metaphoric language it feels out of place to have the more clinical term 'mental abuse.' Also, I think stanza 2 of verse 2 ("Then the day came that you met her, etc.") doesn't flow as well and it introduces the new concept (the abusive friend) too suddenly.

    Overall it's strong. I like the opening especially.

    "So long is the way to the unknown, long is the way we have come. . ." ~ Turisas, Five Hundred and One

    "[An artist is] an idiot babbling through town. . .crying, 'Dreams, dreams for sale! Two for a kopek, two for a song; if you won't buy them, just take them for free!'" ~ Michael O' Brien,
    Sophia House

    Christ is risen from the dead,
    trampling on Death by death,
    And on those in the tombs,
    lavishing light.



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