Enchanted


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Thread: Enchanted

  1. #1
    Beta Reader Princesisto's Avatar
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    Enchanted

    Notes:
    This is the 3rd Princesssong from the "Caribbean Princess" concert/videopack, from the New Little Princess manuscript.
    Chords are just Am F G. Bridge is F G Am.
    Garifuna are playing "wall of drums" percussion
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JX6qWdvui74 while the Princess is playing electric piano with big amplifier boxes to make it heard.
    One Garifuna band has an electric bass and electric guitar and they join in to give it some depth.
    Princess is just at her piano playing instead of rolling around on her skates for this one or playing skate-to-floor percussion.
    Asked later what the song means, the Princess says: "The music is spooky like Stevie Nicks. You're meant to get scared! . . . The words? Did you ever hear Las Ketchup's song? Imagine yours truly goes to a party and meets Diego! *Shudders*"
    The title and chorus are a play on the Spanish way of saying "Pleased to meet you" ("encantada [de conocerte]") with a ghost story in the rest of the song.
    Stevie Nicks references: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K9XDo3FhjnU
    (the start of "Enchanted" is quite similar, before the singing starts, to this song, with the Princess smacking the keyboard instead of playing it and then the Garifuna gradually adding more and more percussion as more of them get involved), https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jQAK6sVovUk Cf. Princess: "like a shadow in a dream" with Stevie Nicks (in Fleetwood Mac) in "Straight Back" (1982): "and the shadow of my shadow in a gleam") https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_veNb2jE6k
    Las Ketchup: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=67HuBMjBUco (The Princess' singing style of "Enchanted" is very similar to Las Ketchup's: running the words and lines together very fast)

    Enchanted

    I see you walk into the room like a shadow in a dream
    I see you lookin' like nobody else tha' I’ve ever seen
    All the people stand around they're just like me
    And they're nothin' but just stunned and amazed
    Maybe they like me feel like they’re in a dream
    Half-happy, half-sad, half-mad and half-crazed


    Chorus:
    Woh, enchanted,
    Romanced and
    Entranced
    I am
    Enchanted
    Oh, ta meet ya
    Me dear

    [Musical Interlude – Percussion and Electric Piano]
    Princess finishes with a glissando and a smile. The audience claps and cheers.

    Then ya point to me and say

    “Yeah, it’s you little girl, jus' come on and dance!”
    Canno' move nor talk, canno' think and then
    Ya take me in ya' hands and
    I haven’t got a chance!
    You spin me around like the wheel of fate
    And it must be fate tha's movin' me legs
    I think I’m gonna dance ‘till I die
    Or love ya ‘till I cry
    And there won’ be nothin' left
    For Jesus to save!

    [Chorus]

    Yeah!

    [Musical Interlude]

    Bridge:
    Hey, dunno' wanna be putty in the hands of love
    But here I am lookin' in your eyes
    And I forgo' wha' I was thinkin' of
    And you dunno' have to tell me wha' your name is
    Just wanna lose myself in your power
    Wrap you up in all my hair
    I am

    [Chorus]

    Then I look down for a minute
    ‘Cos I never felt this way in me lie-yife
    Wanna calm down, come down, ge' control
    But I dunno' know how to start to try-yie

    Then when I look up you’re gone
    And I never even saw ya walkin' away-yay
    How dare ya disappear when ya stole my soul?
    But I realise tha' it’s better this way-yay

    [Chorus] (2 times: second time is one octave higher)

    Listen ta this, now!
    Woh, woh, woh, I was so enchanted
    Woh, woh, I, I was too enchanted
    No, no, never wanna be so enchanted
    No, no, no, never wanna be, never wanna be, never wanna be
    No, no, no, no, no!


    [Audience cheers and applauds]

    [Musical conclusion]
    Last edited by Princesisto; September 26th, 2019 at 11:55 PM.

  2. #2
    P.

    I love the speed, and the whirling of the dance, and your words support that wonderfully.
    I think I only have a few things to say about the quote below:

    Quote Originally Posted by Princesisto View Post
    Then you point to me and say
    “Yeah, it’s you little girl, just come on and dance!”
    Can’t move, can’t talk, can’t think and then
    You take me in your hands and
    I haven’t got a chance!
    You spin me around like the wheel of fate
    It must be fate that's moving my legs
    I think I’m going to dance ‘till I die
    Or love you ‘till I cry
    And there won’t be nothing left
    For Jesus to save!
    You take me in your hands and
    I haven’t got a chance!
    "You take me in your hands" is an awkward line, more said about objects than as person to person. I think something in the line of "you wrap your arms around me" or "you lift me", would be better. You get what I mean hopefully.

    You spin me around like the wheel of fate
    Spin around is double, to spin automatically means around. Not sure about the rhythm there exactly, but something like: "you spin me, I'm a twister on your wheel of fate (or fortune)"

    I think I’m going to dance ‘till I die
    This last one, it doesn't run smoothly like all the other lines, there's a hiccup there and I cannot pinpoint it. Maybe if you would change "going to" into "gonna", it might help

    D.

  3. #3
    Beta Reader Princesisto's Avatar
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    Again, cheers Darren, my mentor.

    Most importantly, I am glad that you like it and I take that you only propose amendments to one stanza as a great compliment!

    take me in your hands - you actually got the message, which is the best reason not to change it. The singer feels like an object at that party: she is becoming less human and more Diego's toy every minute. Thus, as you point out, this is the best language to convey this feeling.

    wrap your arms around me - he is an adult man and she is 9 years old? Everyone at the party would say "get off that child, you pervert!" Of course, adults dance with children all the time: they take them in their hands not put their arms around them (unless they are babies!)

    lift me - but why? she is dancing not flying: also "child lifting" in Bangladesh means kidnapping!

    twister on your wheel of fate - what is a twister? I think it means tornado. She's not turning that fast. The point is not that she is dancing but that she is not even in control of her legs.

    going to dance - I fully accept your amendment - actually the Princess sings "gonna" and I doubt she could actually say "going to". One thing I forgot to do is to revise the lyrics for the Princess' accent. For example, she never says "don't": she uses the Scottish "dunno'" for "do not". I have done that revision now. It was more difficult than I thought because I write the songs like a New Zealander and I have to check every word for impacts of her patois, like glottal stops in place of final "t"s. Maybe I didn't get every one even yet. But out of that a lot of internal rhymes fell into place and I got some interesting sounds like "dunno' wanna". So, as she sings, "I realise tha' it's better this way."
    Last edited by Princesisto; September 26th, 2019 at 11:51 PM.

  4. #4
    P

    I don't want to go into the other remarks, because your choice is your choice, always, but this:
    lift me - but why? she is dancing not flying: also "child lifting" in Bangladesh means kidnapping!
    is not true.
    I was a ballet dancer before I ended up in a wheelchair, and believe be, the correct term for what you wish to say is "to lift".
    Furthermore, this is an English book, so "to lift" is perfectly normal. The book is not situated in Bangladesh. I don't want to go into all potentially double meanings, because for personal reasons that is too much.

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