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  1. #61
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    Quote Originally Posted by seigfried007 View Post
    Attachment 24425

    The one that gets me is "sex." As in "He put his sex in her sex, and they had sex." I'm not fond of any of the other words listed being used in sex scenes, and if I find I've used them once I'm done and getting into the serious editing/rewrites on Pinocchio, I'll prolly burninate them. Only defense I've got for using the terms is "medical" terms and settings, and if a POV is just that sheltered or closed off. Would be a neat way to set up an odd character potentially to use Kindergarten Cop's "Boys have a penis; girls have a vagina" gynecologist kid age-progressed to something legal though

    This is a nice article on vernacular in sex scenes "Keeping the Hokey Out of Your Pokey"
    By the way thanks for the Hoky Poky article. It has definitely been a great help to my current and any future sensual endeavors.
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  2. #62
    Quote Originally Posted by velo View Post
    I hate "like."

    Like, when (younger) people use it to, like, put a pause in a sentence or, like, you know, drone on and not actually say anything.

    In writing I hate the massive overuse of the word in comparative phrases and avoid it all costs. "He looked worn and aged like an overripe prune." 'Like' and everything after it in that admittedly simplistic example are superfluous which is usually how I see this type of phrasing.
    Ah, that four letter word of Germanic origin with a k in it. There is a story about the newscaster who refused to read the Malbro advertisement because it said it tasted 'like' a cigarette should. Never mind they kill you

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  3. #63
    Quote Originally Posted by PiP View Post
    I hate the word awesome.
    I was just going to make my own reply saying the same thing, but you beat me to it. I recently finished a book where the MC's only personality traits in dialogue ranged from "Cool!" to "Awesome!"

    Needless to say, I'm awesomely over it.

  4. #64
    Quote Originally Posted by Aquilo View Post
    Gasp.




    If I could ban gasp from the English lexicon, I would. Then I'd bring it back, throw it down the stairs, trample on it, shoot it with a gun, then hire a hitman to finsh the job again. That goes for gasped, gasping, and gasps.
    GAAAWWWDDAMMIT, woman! Why'd you have to pick such a specific word to hate? Now, I'm combing through the dang thesaurus and picking my brain to find other words for this oddly specific noise. Dreading going through all 40-some sex scenes to prune out those *gasps* (and I know I don't use it terribly often, but just knowing how much you hate that word makes me really want to excise it completely). Glad Word's got a find & replace function... 'cause I'm gonna need it eventually.

    I mean, if you'd hated some vague word like "nice," it'd be easy to find alternative routes to get where I needed to go, but *gasp*? Yikes.
    Last edited by seigfried007; September 17th, 2019 at 06:10 PM.
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  5. #65
    "Heroine". Dividing heroism by gender seems like an attempt to establish an informal social hierarchy.

  6. #66
    'Hero' is what was traditionally used in place of 'protagonist' in traditional literary/theater criticism rather than necessarily indicating heroic deeds, so I can understand the use of 'heroine' to identify that role as belonging to a female character. Gender-language in job roles seems old-fashioned and pointless now, but to me doesn't seem suggesting of a gender hierarchy (are 'sorcerers' considered superior to 'sorceresses'?) so much as a gender clarification that may or may not be useful.

    'Awesome' is a problem, but I don't think it's really an issue with the word but how it is incorrectly used? Awesome is supposed to mean the thing in question inspires awe, so something like the Grand Canyon could be appropriately described as 'awesome' - I think that would be fine. In modern colloquial speech it's simply used as a value judgment for things the speaker likes - 'that ice cream was awesome, man!'

    Lots of words like that. 'Extraordinary', is another one - supposed to mean something unusual or supernatural not something necessarily good. 'Great' was never about something necessarily being better-than-good, it was about something being larger or more powerful.

    'Great Britain' isn't called such because it's The Best Britain (though try telling that to Nigel Farage) but because the island to which it pertains is the 'larger Britain' (the Not-So-Great Britain is the much-smaller island of Ireland). Alexander The Great wasn't called Great because he was a really nice guy but because he was powerful - of significant stature and legacy.

    Ditto 'remarkable', 'fantastic', 'fabulous', 'outstanding', 'phenomenal' - these aren't words that originally were just meant as positive magnifications, they had meanings that were specific and useful. Used correctly I think they're fine.
    "If you don't like my peaches, don't shake my tree."

  7. #67
    Turgid. But fortunately, I've never heard anyone say it.
    Last edited by Ma'am; September 17th, 2019 at 09:56 AM.

  8. #68
    I really hate 'gasp' too, for something that actually occurs so rarely in real life (how many times do people actually 'gasp'?) its used a crazy amount in writing. I always think it's lazy.

    Added to that a zillion other weird epithets that are either basically fictitious or far rarer than given credit for. "His heart stopped" (in that case he's dead), "her stomach turned" (a sensation that does make some sense, but it's way too commonly used in writing), "I shuddered at the thought of" (very few things make healthy, grown adults actually 'shudder' and it's so loosely thrown around you'd think these people are machines), and the one I hate most "his heart sang".

    What the hell does that even mean? A singing heart? In a Bing Crosby song that sort of line might have been okay, but Jesus Christ, get some better imagery or don't use imagery at all. Generally speaking whenever writers start to treat body parts as autonomous centers of emotion, hearts especially.

    He felt his penis vomit.
    "If you don't like my peaches, don't shake my tree."

  9. #69
    Quote Originally Posted by luckyscars View Post
    I really hate 'gasp' too, for something that actually occurs so rarely in real life (how many times do people actually 'gasp'?) its used a crazy amount in writing. I always think it's lazy.

    Added to that a zillion other weird epithets that are either basically fictitious or far rarer than given credit for. "His heart stopped" (in that case he's dead), "her stomach turned" (a sensation that does make some sense, but it's way too commonly used in writing), "I shuddered at the thought of" (very few things make healthy, grown adults actually 'shudder' and it's so loosely thrown around you'd think these people are machines), and the one I hate most "his heart sang".

    What the hell does that even mean? A singing heart? In a Bing Crosby song that sort of line might have been okay, but Jesus Christ, get some better imagery or don't use imagery at all. Generally speaking whenever writers start to treat body parts as autonomous centers of emotion, hearts especially.

    He felt his penis vomit.
    I, too, hate the singing hearts that "skip a beat." Makes 'em sound like kids playing hopscotch.

    Blargh. I do understand why said words are hated--but "gasp" is a hard word to replace. I know it's overused, but sometimes it's true anyway.

    Precisely because gasping isn't something people often do, the times when people do it are often worthy of writing. Not all characters gasp, and not all of the ones who do will do it for the same reasons. People gasp when they're in severe, sharp pain; when they're afraid, when they're surfacing after being submerged a long time, when they're shocked speechless, and sometimes during the usual "gasping" scenes.

    Of course, I haven't gotten around in the romance/erotic genre, so I'm not as sensitive to it as a more practiced reader would be. I don't read a lot of "gasping" fiction, and the only incidence of the word I remember reading was in Michael Crichton's Rising Sun, where it referred to a "gasper" (lady who was into erotic asphyxiation). I'm sure I'd be pissed reading it, too, if I was as inundated with it as Aquilo probably is.

    Guilty of some "shudders," too, but they're often associated with panic attacks, seizures, and some more horrific/hallucinatory/supernatural horror elements. Probably a turning stomach or five, too, but again, it's always when someone's seriously about to throw up (and I'm not sure if I used the specific "turn" verb necessarily). Current WIP has a lot of frightening and/or gross stuff in it, and characters get sick for other reasons, too.

    I do view this thread as a bar of sorts--a freebie critique, if you will. Given me a lot to think about.
    "Ammonia will disinfect sin."
    --adrianhayter

    "Art is life, just add bull****."
    --Chris Miller

  10. #70
    Pet peeve, and it tops the list, no matter WHERE I see it: The apostrophe is NEVER used to pluralize.

    I see it all the time. "Look at my photo's." "All of the sign's were in English." etcetera, ad infinitum, ad nauseum.
    Her: I love my computer! All of my friends are in there!
    Me: Yeah, I was thinking the same thing about my freezer...
    Her: What?
    Me: What?

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