Grab within the first paragraph - Page 4


Page 4 of 4 FirstFirst 1234
Results 31 to 36 of 36

Thread: Grab within the first paragraph

  1. #31
    Quote Originally Posted by Chris Stevenson View Post
    Well, still can't paste a partial doc file in here without all of the text running together. I don't know what I've done wrong. Any help on that? Never had that happen before.
    Sometimes you have to edit pasted text to suit. Select 'go advanced' then, before posting, 'preview post'. The preview will show how the text is going to appear once you post it.


  2. #32
    Member Chris Stevenson's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Now in Sylvania, Alabama
    Posts
    176
    Blog Entries
    25
    Thank you. I went advanced and in looked fine in preview but came out all run-together when I posted it.

    I'll try again....


    Tilly Breedlove never thought she would end up in an institution like this and hear her father utter such dreadful, embarrassing words across a counter top.

    “I’m Reginald Breedlove, and I have an appointment for the last stage of the program. I’m here to pawn my daughter.”

    I’m here to pawn my daughter. Tilly knew they had another word for it, because she and her girlfriends used to laugh at the K-Span commercial spots on late night Holoview. She wasn’t laughing now. She’d never seen so many kids gathered in one spot, except at a school assembly. The first floor of the auditorium-sized building had at least twenty standing lines and a waiting area filled to capacity. Sure, there were sniffles and tearful goodbyes, with an occasional knock-down-drag-out, but the worst scenes were reserved for the six to twelve-year-old kids, the next wing over. Those kids were on the Daffodil Plan, commonly called, Daffy’s, and their screams pierced through the air conditioning vents.

    I see. I had to go to my setting and click the simple text block. I guess that's it.
    Last edited by Chris Stevenson; May 23rd, 2020 at 09:17 AM.
    Blog: Guerilla Warfare For Writers:Hidden Content

    Amazon Page: Hidden Content
    Christy's Young Adult Fabuliers: Hidden Content

  3. #33
    Quote Originally Posted by Chris Stevenson View Post
    Imheretopawnmydaughter.
    Inspired by the Blues Brothers?

  4. #34
    Quote Originally Posted by Chris Stevenson View Post
    Thank you. I went advanced and in looked fine in preview but came out all run-together when I posted it.

    I'll try again....


    Tilly Breedlove never thought she would end up in an institution like this and hear her father utter such dreadful, embarrassing words across a counter top.

    “I’m Reginald Breedlove, and I have an appointment for the last stage of the program. I’m here to pawn my daughter.”

    I’m here to pawn my daughter. Tilly knew they had another word for it, because she and her girlfriends used to laugh at the K-Span commercial spots on late night Holoview. She wasn’t laughing now. She’d never seen so many kids gathered in one spot, except at a school assembly. The first floor of the auditorium-sized building had at least twenty standing lines and a waiting area filled to capacity. Sure, there were sniffles and tearful goodbyes, with an occasional knock-down-drag-out, but the worst scenes were reserved for the six to twelve-year-old kids, the next wing over. Those kids were on the Daffodil Plan, commonly called, Daffy’s, and their screams pierced through the air conditioning vents.

    I see. I had to go to my setting and click the simple text block. I guess that's it.
    I didn't realise you'd already done that. It looks okay on my screen, but maybe I'm seeing it after you've edited. It's never easy to know if it's a website issue or the display on your local computer.


  5. #35
    Member Chris Stevenson's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Now in Sylvania, Alabama
    Posts
    176
    Blog Entries
    25
    This is true. I have a brand new computer with all the latest apps and version. World 365 and Windows 10 are throwing me for loops, but I'm managing to do so learn on everything. Thank y'all for your help. My first paragraph is reading now.
    Blog: Guerilla Warfare For Writers:Hidden Content

    Amazon Page: Hidden Content
    Christy's Young Adult Fabuliers: Hidden Content

  6. #36
    I believe a story should begin by showing the norm, followed by an ‘inciting incident’ which kicks-off the storyline.

    I never start a novel, with a character waking, or with a hangover or OD’d, or getting out of a car, or with a dream sequence, or coming out of a coma. Weddings and funerals can be used as openers, but preferably, for who-dunits or Bruce Willis scripts. I'll open with dialogue if I am confident I have accounted for the confusion that might come with it and there will be no re-reads.

    So, it's the ever-green problem, presented by the opening poster how does one capture an agent or reader's attention
    without a crash bang wallop opening para? Here are three of my efforts - all first paras from full length novels.

    1 ++++++++++++++++++++++++
    Mechanics try to start an army truck. An officer watches. The exhaust system is missing, and the racket spooks a mule and dogs bark. On the Town Hall steps troops wait to board the truck. Most are sleeping. Those that aren’t are silent. They smoke cigarettes taken from dead men.

    2 +++++++++++++++++++
    Hey Adrian,
    You know Maxi and you know what he’s capable of and I know the Telegraph pays good money for this kind of thing. I can’t tell you where I am, but it’s very expensive and my ‘host’ wants paying or he will be depriving me of body parts, starting below the belt. There’s ten per cent in it for you, (film rights excluded)
    Read the attached doc. It’s unbelievable but nailed-to-the-cross truth.…Harry

    3 ++++++++++++++++++++
    He took the direct motorway route South through France, foot to the floor with the side door of the Transit slid open and the Buddy Rich Big Band vibrating the windscreen. He thrashed the obliging diesel throughout the night and all the next day. He took his last upper as he crossed the border south of Perpignan. At Valencia he cut inland to get clear of the tourist traffic. Outside Murcia he stopped and took a room in a roadside Hostal. He showered but didn’t eat. He dreamt he was still in B-wing and when he woke the silence spooked him.


    Which would you pursue? Any other comments welcome.

    qwerty

Page 4 of 4 FirstFirst 1234

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
This website uses cookies
We use cookies to store session information to facilitate remembering your login information, to allow you to save website preferences, to personalise content and ads, to provide social media features and to analyse our traffic. We also share information about your use of our site with our social media, advertising and analytics partners.