Cast, a Fate in Freckles

Results 1 to 8 of 8

Thread: Cast, a Fate in Freckles

  1. #1

    Cast, a Fate in Freckles

    Cast, a Fate in Freckles

    Upon the egg of a Yellowhammer, his name written in speckles,
    an omen of the advent, the tocking of a tick of the stolen blues—
    Cast, Wild Dog of the Serengeti, clad in apricot smoke freckles.

    His tail tippet was bright bone bleached white, but his freckles
    with veiled kisses of wildfire smoke, was a line the pack drew
    as held by tenets of the scribble lark’s revered smoky speckles.

    Crisp cream parchments, his undercoat dapper ‘neath freckles
    of apricot aberrations capped by large ears in charcoaled hues.
    Cast, outcast of the Serengeti, cast as a Hyde instead of Jekyll.

    Fresh pressed spats o’er true white toes, gentleman heckled,
    ‘Ears likened to Egyptian tombs, eyes not of brown but blue.’
    Upon the egg of a Yellowhammer, a fate written in speckles.

    Colours born wrong, ears sharp not saucered, and the freckles—
    the speckles told a truth that only the voice of the Dodo knew.
    An outcast who knew how to hide, the secrets of his speckles.

    A sere grass symphony sang beneath the toes of the heckled,
    as Cast set out, toes and tippet stars leading, eyes true blue—
    Find the Dodo in the place of ashen sand, said the speckles
    for it was only the Dodo who could read the Fate in Freckles.

  2. #2
    Exquisitely AaaaMazzing!!!!! This poem is bejeweled with exquisite imagery, so lovely, I am in love with this Painted Dog... He is a perfect companion to your Star Socks Fox! Dear DarKKin, every time I read your beautiful poetry, I fall in love with poetry all over again. I envy your StrangeWays world, it is truly sublime... you have no idea of how much joy your poetry has given me. Thank you...
    She lost herself in the trees,
    among the ever-changing leaves.
    She wept beneath the wild sky
    as stars told stories of ancient times.
    The flowers grew toward her light,
    the river called her name at night.
    She could not live an ordinary life,
    with the mysteries of the universe
    hidden in her eyes....
    Author: Christy Ann Martine

    Death leaves a heartache no one can heal,
    love leaves a memory no one can steal....
    Author unknown.

  3. #3
    Cast leads an unlikely cast of search of the Dodo. The message in the speckles is more dire a missing Primary. The Tree at the Heart of the World is under threat as the Bright Child faces down one of Ebb's Reapers, the Rexy. A Queen's reign is ending, the Ebb Tide will not be thwarted...Can the rage of a mere child crack a world in half? Only the Dodo has the answer, but where is the Dodo? This story has taken an unexpected turn, going deeper to ask what happens when the center of a world shatters when it was supposed to hold...the raw heart of a child facing a horrific loss. We'll see how this goes...

    As always, the reads and comments are greatly appreciated.

    - D.
    Last edited by Darkkin; August 27th, 2019 at 03:44 AM.

  4. #4
    I really like the use to colours to capture the hues of Africa and the jackal ... but Yellowhammer’s aren’t in the Serengeti. I also felt like you’d just repeated the same idea twice in different ways - why describe the ears twice? Why apricot twice? (I felt it hurt the original use).

    to repeat ... some excellent imagery here, but over all I didn’t get it. Why is Dodo in there? I understand that there are multiple uses of “cast”, but I still didn’t follow what you were saying or why at the end of the day.

    I can only guess from the above post that this is part of some larger narrative I know nothing about ... which is a shame. Is it a reference to something else you’ve written?

  5. #5
    Ah! Sorry, I recognise your stuff now. It IS part of something else

  6. #6
    Thank you for taking the time to read. It is appreciated. That being said...

    Cast is no jackal. Yes, his ears are the wrong shape, his eyes and coat the wrong colour, but his tail tippet, toes, and breast patterning are clearly those of the merled Wild Dog. His species is no mistake. Genetically speaking WIld Dogs are more closely related to canis familiaris than canis lopus is, and for this story, that particular ancestory is crucial.

    As to the Yellowhammer, the fact that the bird species was indicated, as well as the inclusion of the Dodo, should be more than sufficent context to reveal the fact that this narrative is a work of nonsense, thusly the geographic domain of the Yellowhammer, which is Eurasia is irrelevant, what is relevant is the message written in the pattern on its egg. More concisely, the location of the Yellowhammer, itself is never indicated, merely the message in the egg speckles. A bit of folklore about the bird incorporated to further the opening of Cast's story. What is the message in his freckles? Only the Dodo would be able to decipher that particular message. To find out the message first Cast must find the Dodo, which indicates a journey commencing.

    Outcast on a journey to find a hidden message, an outcast, whose name is foretold in the speckles of a Yellowhammer's egg...Hero's Journey, the call to action. Cast outcast from his caste...

    The form is villanelle, which is why the lines repeat. It is a form stemming from 13th century France and the musical form of rounds. And yes, it is the opening of a greater narrative, to try and find metaphor or any great meaning in such nonsense can result in frustration.

    - D.

  7. #7
    I’m curious. Looking at our avatar I’m guessing you may have artwork to accompany these pieces? I not then the style of the art in the avatar is exactly what I envisage when I’ve read your stuff.

  8. #8
    My avatar has no connection to these pieces, and no, it is not mine, I found it in the course of a google search as I have a severe arts and crafts impairment. The only abberations to actual species are alterations to traits that can occur in nature, e.g. Ear shapes. coat colour, size, etc...And if there is something about a particular creature that is out of left field, like Apple the Jackal's coat or Literal, the Azure Pygmy Giraffe the reader is promptly informed. As each reader's mind is unique, I leave how they picture a character up to them...Not really sure how any of this is relevant critique on the piece either...

    - D.
    Last edited by Darkkin; September 11th, 2019 at 02:12 PM.


Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
This website uses cookies
We use cookies to store session information to facilitate remembering your login information, to allow you to save website preferences, to personalise content and ads, to provide social media features and to analyse our traffic. We also share information about your use of our site with our social media, advertising and analytics partners.