Literary Manoeuvres August 2019 "Dead and Dreaming" - Page 2


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Thread: Literary Manoeuvres August 2019 "Dead and Dreaming"

  1. #11
    Supervisor velo's Avatar
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    Entry 10 - But I haven’t seen Dubai (505w)

    I swam through fog; up, maybe down, but towards the haven of some dim and distant light. But there only dread welcomed me: the fingers of some forgotten nightmare. I opened my eyes to shape, colour and texture and yet I saw nothing. Each was isolated from the other, refusing to form a coherent image. Was this what it was like for a person blind from birth to suddenly see? It made no sense. The colours were shades of black and grey, the shapes geometric. A movement, and a world drifted into focus. But a world upside down. Was that a wheel in the air? The movement was a shadow. It crawled beyond my sight, lurking. I could feel its presence. It watched. It waited. For what? I tried to move but couldn’t. Something held me deathly still. Even breathing was difficult, shallow and uneven, as is something sat upon my chest. And still the presence waited, right beside me, but out of sight. A flash of memory came unbidden: headlights in the rain, an empty winding road.

    No, not now. Not yet. I must move. I strained every sinew, commanded every cell, screamed at every muscle to move. Suddenly, with a crack, I turned my head to behold the presence. I saw the eye first, framed in a fractured car wing mirror. It was my eye and my bleeding head. I could now see the totality of the car, upside down and twisted. A thousand tears of glass were shattered upon the road, crying in jaundiced light. And still I could not move. Carefree driving on a wet summer night.


    A shard of colour pierced through the darkness, then another: bright blue flashing followed by the shriek of a siren. The crunch of boots on gravel, urgent voices muffled as if by distance. Help. I relaxed my fate to the professionals. Heady, opening the Porsche door.

    “… airway intact…”
    Steady hands held my head.
    “… OK, I’ve got access…”
    A dim pain lanced through my arm.
    “… get the board under…”
    A hardness braced my back.
    “… out, out, brief candle…”
    Fear flittered inside my chest.

    The shadow! I rallied against it, knowing now it would not leave me in safe hands and willing myself to rise, sure that if I could but direct my rescuers’ attention to it, it would melt under their gaze; sure that something so obscene could not belong in our world of tarmac and ambulances and chardonnay; that even the smallest gesture from my hand could break the spell upon me, the spell that pulled me down and down, ever down; if I could just move my hand… Dancing, drinking, chatting; another good night.

    A movement snapped my attention back to the mirror. No! In it I watched as the shadow crept towards me, extending an impossibly long limb towards my head. I won’t go. I was not surprised that my rescuers did not see it. It felt cold as the world sunk into nothing. But I haven’t…
    "Don't fuck with writers, we will describe you." -unknown

    My blog- Hidden Content thoughts on trauma and healing through psychedelic-assisted psychotherapy

    "When a child is abused, he or she will often internalise that abuse as deserved. It is a cruel reality that a child needs the parent so much, is evolutionarily programmed to trust them so implicitly, that when a parent is abusive the child will take the blame rather than completely upend their world and blame the person they depend on for survival." -velo

  2. #12
    Supervisor velo's Avatar
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    "Don't fuck with writers, we will describe you." -unknown

    My blog- Hidden Content thoughts on trauma and healing through psychedelic-assisted psychotherapy

    "When a child is abused, he or she will often internalise that abuse as deserved. It is a cruel reality that a child needs the parent so much, is evolutionarily programmed to trust them so implicitly, that when a parent is abusive the child will take the blame rather than completely upend their world and blame the person they depend on for survival." -velo

  3. #13
    Supervisor velo's Avatar
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    "Don't fuck with writers, we will describe you." -unknown

    My blog- Hidden Content thoughts on trauma and healing through psychedelic-assisted psychotherapy

    "When a child is abused, he or she will often internalise that abuse as deserved. It is a cruel reality that a child needs the parent so much, is evolutionarily programmed to trust them so implicitly, that when a parent is abusive the child will take the blame rather than completely upend their world and blame the person they depend on for survival." -velo

  4. #14
    Supervisor velo's Avatar
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    "Don't fuck with writers, we will describe you." -unknown

    My blog- Hidden Content thoughts on trauma and healing through psychedelic-assisted psychotherapy

    "When a child is abused, he or she will often internalise that abuse as deserved. It is a cruel reality that a child needs the parent so much, is evolutionarily programmed to trust them so implicitly, that when a parent is abusive the child will take the blame rather than completely upend their world and blame the person they depend on for survival." -velo

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