Schhh, schhh (drags in dead horse)... so I, like everyone else, liked the idea but got a little lost a few times and had to re-read sections leading to derailment. Also the ending wasn’t perfectly clear to me... did he do the act or just think about it and regret it and then let the thought go? Maybe the lack of clarity was intentional?

You write very well (so spelling grammar and that stuff was good) I think maybe just a little more clarity would help the reader.

Also so someone else mentioned that this type of story had been done... who cares and that’s stupid... every story under the sun has been done so I would argue there is nothing new under the sun so as long as you grew and enjoyed yourself that’s enough!!