Can I use the noun drift like this?


Results 1 to 6 of 6

Thread: Can I use the noun drift like this?

  1. #1

    Can I use the noun drift like this?

    Hi, first post on the forum. English isn't my first language and my friend told me that this line in a lyric felt wrong to him, so I'm looking for a third opinion.

    Would you say you could use the noun 'drift' in the following phrase:
    Let the drift take me away

    As in the drift of water. I realize that 'current' or even 'waters' would fit better, but they have too many syllables for the line. My second option would be 'stream', but it's harder to pronounce being sung so high and doesn't flow as well in the sung line.

    Thanks a lot in advance!

  2. #2
    Quote Originally Posted by Finnmaker View Post
    Hi, first post on the forum. English isn't my first language and my friend told me that this line in a lyric felt wrong to him, so I'm looking for a third opinion.

    Would you say you could use the noun 'drift' in the following phrase:
    Let the drift take me away

    As in the drift of water. I realize that 'current' or even 'waters' would fit better, but they have too many syllables for the line. My second option would be 'stream', but it's harder to pronounce being sung so high and doesn't flow as well in the sung line.

    Thanks a lot in advance!
    Drift can work like that, but it's also used for drifts of snow, drifting cars, catching the drift (understanding the gist of what's said/written), drifting away (losing one's train of thought or the gradual loss of love/understanding in a relationship).

    Would "waves" or "wave" work?
    "Ammonia will disinfect sin."
    --adrianhayter

    "Art is life, just add bull****."
    --Chris Miller

  3. #3
    For a lyric I think 'drift' works well. It pushes the definition of the word a bit, but I think that's a good thing. Lyrics are, after all, poetry and poets are supposed to push words into new territory.
    “Fools” said I, “You do not know
    Silence like a cancer grows
    Hear my words that I might teach you
    Take my arms that I might reach you”
    But my words like silent raindrops fell
    And echoed in the wells of silence : Simon & Garfunkel


    Those who enjoy stirring the chamber-pot should be required to lick the spoon.

    Our job as writers is to make readers dream, to infiltrate their minds with our words and create a new reality; a reality not theirs, and not ours, but a new, unique combination of both.

    Visit Amazon and the Kindle Store to check out Reflections in a Black Mirror, and Chase

    Hidden Content






  4. #4
    Great to hear! Thanks to the both of you! I think the double meaning with relationship could even work as an addition as the song's chorus does imply that theme.

    I think waves could also fit, I'll compare them in rehearsal next time, thanks for the idea!

  5. #5
    It would help to see the context. If it fits, "Let the drift take me ... " or "Let the stream take me ... ". It might be possible to omit "away", but it's hard to say without context.


  6. #6
    Member Grizzly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    Location
    California
    Posts
    288
    YOOO FINNMAKER this is hella rad.

    kudos to you for writing in a language that isn't your first language, and additional kudos for inquiring deeper about it and caring so much about syllable count and intonation etcetera! 120000/10!!!


    Quote Originally Posted by Terry D View Post
    For a lyric I think 'drift' works well. It pushes the definition of the word a bit, but I think that's a good thing. Lyrics are, after all, poetry and poets are supposed to push words into new territory.
    I agree with Terry D that "drift" pushes the definition. THAT'S WHAT WRITING IS SUPPOSED TO DO so you're spot on in that. Way to be expansive! Way to really push the boundaries of the known universe!! YOU ROCK


    Keep pushing those definitions, man. You're doing great. Genuinely thank you for doing this.
    To be water. To be the Hidden Content .

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
This website uses cookies
We use cookies to store session information to facilitate remembering your login information, to allow you to save website preferences, to personalise content and ads, to provide social media features and to analyse our traffic. We also share information about your use of our site with our social media, advertising and analytics partners.