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  1. #11
    Member Rojack79's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by seigfried007 View Post
    Super happy you've made it to 21!


    I don't think Pinocchio's going to be up your alley at all, as much as it pains me to say that. This thing isn't up anybody's alley. Also, it could very well be a traumatic thing for you, and I don't want to put you through that. Intricate doesn't mean pleasant, and some things that seem pleasant aren't.

    Here's a quote from a post I made stupid early this morning after trying to write because I couldn't sleep:
    I'll have to chalk it up to my morbid curiosity then. After what happened I became fixated on finding out why it did and why me. I found out it happens to anyone, anywhere, sometimes even directly under the very nose of the parents. I have to admit that while it might seem strange to some as someone who's come to terms with what happened I still find myself interested in your story. As a fellow writer I feel compelled to read something of yours as thanks for being a decent human being. You don't want me to re-live that horrible nightmare again so I will respect that. Is there anything else you have written up and ready for reading?
    This might not be my best work but that just means there's room to improve.

    I don't have a big ego. You just can't comprehend my greatness!

  2. #12
    Member Rojack79's Avatar
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    So another small update, got stuck on 21, had to go back and rewrite a few previous chapters so as to switch the plot around a little. Other than that I'm currently working on chapter 22. Off to The Vatican!
    This might not be my best work but that just means there's room to improve.

    I don't have a big ego. You just can't comprehend my greatness!

  3. #13
    Quote Originally Posted by Rojack79 View Post
    I'll have to chalk it up to my morbid curiosity then. After what happened I became fixated on finding out why it did and why me. I found out it happens to anyone, anywhere, sometimes even directly under the very nose of the parents. I have to admit that while it might seem strange to some as someone who's come to terms with what happened I still find myself interested in your story. As a fellow writer I feel compelled to read something of yours as thanks for being a decent human being. You don't want me to re-live that horrible nightmare again so I will respect that. Is there anything else you have written up and ready for reading?
    Read what you want. I just wanted to warn you. I don't find it strange, per se, that you're interested (I'm interested in it, too, or I wouldn't be writing it ) but I didn't want you to get partway into it and go "HOLY PHUCKOLA! MY EYES--THEY'RE MELTING!" There's some... *ahem* non-conventional pairings/threesomes in it, and they're often explicit. In the Red Light forum, I've got the whole work as of last year, but now that I'm working on it again, I can post the newer versions of the chapters there. The good news, is that if you really don't want to read some scenes, I did post synopses in the thread so you can skip scenes and not lose out on the story. By comparison, the abuse is in some ways more explicit in Joanna's Big Secret, and that story doesn't involve male-male relationships (but it does directly involve someone who is and looks like a minor--unlike Pinocchio, who is and doesn't look like a minor).
    "Ammonia will disinfect sin."
    --adrianhayter

    "Art is life, just add bull****."
    --Chris Miller

  4. #14
    Member Rojack79's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by seigfried007 View Post
    Read what you want. I just wanted to warn you. I don't find it strange, per se, that you're interested (I'm interested in it, too, or I wouldn't be writing it ) but I didn't want you to get partway into it and go "HOLY PHUCKOLA! MY EYES--THEY'RE MELTING!" There's some... *ahem* non-conventional pairings/threesomes in it, and they're often explicit. In the Red Light forum, I've got the whole work as of last year, but now that I'm working on it again, I can post the newer versions of the chapters there. The good news, is that if you really don't want to read some scenes, I did post synopses in the thread so you can skip scenes and not lose out on the story. By comparison, the abuse is in some ways more explicit in Joanna's Big Secret, and that story doesn't involve male-male relationships (but it does directly involve someone who is and looks like a minor--unlike Pinocchio, who is and doesn't look like a minor).
    I just saw that one fish from spongebob that screamed "My Eyes! My Eyes!" as his eyes got lit on fire. Wow taken out of context that sounds very dark. I think I'll need to talk to PiP for an invite into the red light district. I've been meaning to ask anyway so I could get some advice on some sex scenes I have planned for this series.
    This might not be my best work but that just means there's room to improve.

    I don't have a big ego. You just can't comprehend my greatness!

  5. #15
    Member Rojack79's Avatar
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    On chapter 23 out of 27. Introduced Lilith in a believable way and only have 4 more chapter's to go. YEAH!!!!
    This might not be my best work but that just means there's room to improve.

    I don't have a big ego. You just can't comprehend my greatness!

  6. #16
    Member Rojack79's Avatar
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    Well... just got through with the last chapter of The first book. Not really sure how to feel right now. Excited for having actually completed the outline. Now all that remains is to write. So many other stories are beginning to surface, some are nothing but distractions, others are paramount for this series as a whole. I could get started on the sequel and the parallel Villains Arch for the first book. Man this is almost surreal. Well if i can I'll see if I can post up the outline for critique some time today. Anyone know where to post it for that? My brain is still in shock right now.
    This might not be my best work but that just means there's room to improve.

    I don't have a big ego. You just can't comprehend my greatness!

  7. #17
    Mentor Megan Pearson's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ralph Rotten View Post
    Megan: If you put that book down 13 years ago, you may wanna rewrite it entirely.
    The reason is that your writing has likely evolved significantly since then.
    You could edit the tar out of it...but at some point it is like installing a 12 cylinder engine in a Pinto.
    The book could end up looking like Frankenstein's monster.

    Most likely your writing is much better now than then.

    (LOL!) Ralph, I sure hope it's improved somewhat!!! Actually, it was because of the struggles I went through in writing it that I began in earnest to teach myself how to write. I'm glad for them--but at the same time, almost can't stomach reading what I had written back then because it is sooo awful! The plan all along--even while I wrote it (I was aware of issues I--I just didn't know how to solve them back then)--was to rewrite it. Which is why I am so thrilled with (& somewhat terrified of!) the voice I now have in this story.

    Personally, I am much more in favor of rewriting something already having potential and then editing, rather than editing the tar out of something that might someday have potential. One is productive; the other, wasteful.



    You know, that Frankenstein feller? I met him once. He came in the guise of a door-to-door salesman dealing in pithy sayings and false optimism. He'd just rant on and on, and you know, I couldn't get him out the door fast enough. He was a costly waste of time; it took me seven years to run him out of town. How did I do that? I read everything I could get my hands on about writing and craft, storytelling, the importance of structure, what makes plot/character/setting and how do they work together in harmony, and etc. I'll agree that reading what we would like to write is great--I'm all for reading everything we can get our hands on. But, reading alone is far too passive. We have to work at shoving bad habits and unwelcomed monsters out the door. If we don't apply what we read, then why bother with advice in the first place? Writers write. So, in the end, that Frankenstein guy wasn't so bad after all. He turned into awful good motivation for my gaining an appreciation for the rules of writing and for what that should look like in good writing.

    Anyone out there dealing with a Frankenstein in their work, check out books on writing by authors you like-- preferably books with writing exercises on selected topics the author develops at length in the preceding chapter. Because you like that author, hopefully you'll stay motivated when it does get to feeling like work. And because they're authors you know, they probably won't be teaching you above where you're presently interested in writing. That comes later, when you are ready for Strunk & White and the more literary or academic guides to help you solve more the complex problems in your writing--problems that have been there all along, only, you didn't know they were there. By then, you can thank Frankenstein for his business card and slam that door shut behind him!
    "A ship in the harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for."
    ~ John A. Shedd


  8. #18
    Member Rojack79's Avatar
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    So after my computer died on me I've been looking for a way to use my little Tablet/Computer to write my story. My main issue was the keyboard being way to small. Fixed that so tomorrow my writing can begin.

    However I'm now having an issue with MC drift as i like to call it, meaning that the MC has changed drastically from a pure man of God out on mission to a nice guy who's simply in the wrong place at the wrong time.

    He's gone from badass hero to badass normal everyman who just wants to get home to see his family. He ends up getting tossed into this highly charged situation and makes it out by the skin of his teeth thanks to his ingenuity, cunning, and faith in God.

    Is this normal for your carefully constructed plans to just go out into left field all of a sudden?
    This might not be my best work but that just means there's room to improve.

    I don't have a big ego. You just can't comprehend my greatness!

  9. #19
    ^^^YUP
    "Ammonia will disinfect sin."
    --adrianhayter

    "Art is life, just add bull****."
    --Chris Miller

  10. #20
    Member Rojack79's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by seigfried007 View Post
    ^^^YUP
    Glad i'm not the only one. I have to admit it's jarring to have this all planned out and then all of a sudden boom! "No,No,No! I'm going this a-way!"
    This might not be my best work but that just means there's room to improve.

    I don't have a big ego. You just can't comprehend my greatness!

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