The truth of childhood


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Thread: The truth of childhood

  1. #1

    The truth of childhood

    Revision 1:

    Seconds, hours, days (sands blown by forces
    a child cannot grasp)
    create a lake
    filled with events
    never truly fathomed –
    child mariner, maze dancer...
    all occurs on the surface,
    everything gathers under;
    language swamps.

    Tonal reactions,
    loud voices, deeper than death,
    words too heavy
    for young ears to hold, fall
    like pitted rocks (the shadow,
    the whack)
    dropped from a great height,
    cause splashes, displacement…
    a sense of expecting the next rock to fall.

    Child mariner, maze dancer, unable to fully explore
    must wander...
    older, clarity may appear case,
    some minor ripples, wind skates, subtext
    plumbs the depths (in childhood
    all is a dream)
    , truth lurks – bloated catfish
    wriggles near the surface
    with a tail that dips –

    down
    down
    down

    to the mud below
    where the truth of childhood
    cannot drown
    nor be let go.





    ***********************************
    Seconds, hours, days (sands blown by forces
    a child cannot grasp)
    create a lake
    filled with events
    never truly fathomed –
    child submariner, maze dancer -
    all occurs in the light...
    everything gathers under;
    language swamps.

    Tonal reactions
    from loud voices
    and words too heavy
    for young ears to hold, fall
    like pitted rocks (the shadow,
    the whack)
    dropped from a great height,
    cause splashes, displacement…
    a sense of expecting the next rock to fall.

    Child mariner, unable to fully explore
    must wander...
    clarity may seem to be the case,
    some minor ripples as wind skates, subtext
    plumbs the depths (in childhood
    all is a dream)
    , truth lurks – a bloated catfish
    present near the surface
    with a tail that dips –

    down
    down
    down

    to the mud below
    where the truth of childhood
    cannot drown
    nor be let go.
    Last edited by dannyboy; June 1st, 2019 at 01:48 AM.

  2. #2
    The imagery here is sharp and evocative. From "maze dancer" to "language swamps" to "in childhood all is a dream" there is so much to like here. This was an incredible read. Your last stanza was particularly strong, so much so that it becomes the final intonation of everything you've managed to assemble, to create, here. I read it out loud after going over it twice to see the mystical, majestic use of the language you chose here and was not disappointed.

    Thanks for the read!

  3. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by dannyboy View Post
    Revision 1:

    Seconds, hours, days (sands blown by forces
    a child cannot grasp)
    create a lake
    filled with events
    never truly fathomed –
    child mariner, maze dancer...
    all occurs on the surface,
    everything gathers under;
    language swamps.

    Tonal reactions,
    loud voices, deeper than death,
    words too heavy
    for young ears to hold, fall
    like pitted rocks (the shadow,
    the whack)
    dropped from a great height,
    cause splashes, displacement…
    a sense of expecting the next rock to fall.

    Child mariner, maze dancer, unable to fully explore
    must wander...
    older, clarity may appear case,
    some minor ripples, wind skates, subtext
    plumbs the depths (in childhood
    all is a dream)
    , truth lurks – bloated catfish
    wriggles near the surface
    with a tail that dips –

    down
    down
    down

    to the mud below
    where the truth of childhood
    cannot drown
    nor be let go.
    In S1L1 what if: wind blown sands, that a child can’t grasp.

    I enjoyed what I saw as a double meaning with fathomed.
    You’ve some very vivd and subtle imagery in this poem and I like that. This may be about a child(children) but it’s not for them. A very good poem.
    "Illegitimi non carborundum " Vinegar' Joe Stilwell

    "Faith is taking the first step, even when you don't see the whole staircase." Martin Luther King Jr.

    What you learn in life is important, those you help learn, are more important.

    "They can because they think they can."
    ​Virgil

    "Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools will speak to say something." Plato

    "The only difference between reality and fiction is that fiction needs to be credible."
    ​ Mark Twain

    "To those of you who received honors, awards and distinctions, I say well done. And to the C students, I say you, too, can be president of the United States." George W. Bush



  4. #4
    Thank you Pelwrath. You are right it is not for children.

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