The Beaten Path

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Thread: The Beaten Path

  1. #1

    The Beaten Path

    The Beaten Path


    Iíve walked this path before,
    is it my bones or the snow I hear crunch?
    Winterís naked guardians ready to clutch
    with shadowed talons I abhor.


    Pausing at their favorite bridge.
    I watch ice spawned dreams
    create a beautiful raceme.
    For them itís easy in showing courage


    My kind so willing
    to be rapacious.
    Mothers branch of the family tree; canis
    they find it so fulfilling.


    The path ends atop a hill
    at chiseled stone markers.
    Three times; loves martyrs.
    In me they each, love instilled.


    I feel their warmth
    this fine winters day.
    My body and their memory will never decay.
    I must be crazy, now onto my fourth.
    "Illegitimi non carborundum " Vinegar' Joe Stilwell

    "Faith is taking the first step, even when you don't see the whole staircase." Martin Luther King Jr.

    What you learn in life is important, those you help learn, are more important.

    "They can because they think they can."
    ​Virgil

    "Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools will speak to say something." Plato

    "The only difference between reality and fiction is that fiction needs to be credible."
    ​ Mark Twain

    "To those of you who received honors, awards and distinctions, I say well done. And to the C students, I say you, too, can be president of the United States." George W. Bush



  2. #2
    Global Moderator H.Brown's Avatar
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    Pel I like your use of imagery in this poem it creates feeling within me as a reader.
    Fancy joining a photgraphy group? The check out the Hidden Content group.

    Visit My Blog to get to know me better.Hidden Content Hidden Content A fun group of like minded new writers.
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    Why not check out the Hidden Content and join in the latest challenge discussions.

  3. #3
    Such beautiful imagery! Also i am new by the way. I hope I can make others feel more welcome.

  4. #4
    I'd change that last line of the S1 - it reads as an attempt to sound poetic and the piece doesn't need that attempt.

  5. #5
    dannyboy, you might have a point. It does read as an extension of the preceding line. Thanks, I’ll play around with some replacements. Thanks for pointing that out.
    "Illegitimi non carborundum " Vinegar' Joe Stilwell

    "Faith is taking the first step, even when you don't see the whole staircase." Martin Luther King Jr.

    What you learn in life is important, those you help learn, are more important.

    "They can because they think they can."
    ​Virgil

    "Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools will speak to say something." Plato

    "The only difference between reality and fiction is that fiction needs to be credible."
    ​ Mark Twain

    "To those of you who received honors, awards and distinctions, I say well done. And to the C students, I say you, too, can be president of the United States." George W. Bush



  6. #6
    I really liked this verse:

    The path ends atop a hill
    at chiseled stone markers.
    Three times; loves martyrs.
    In me they each, love instilled.

    Nicely played.
    ďAs far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light of meaning in the darkness of mere being,"

    -Carl Jung

  7. #7
    Member Thomas Norman's Avatar
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    Apr 2019
    Location
    West Wales UK
    Posts
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    A good poem with a nice twist and fine imagery.

    I agree about that last line of S1, sounds forced for the rhyme.

    S3 Mother's S5 winter's.

    Good stuff....T.

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