Sonnet on the Transit of May


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Thread: Sonnet on the Transit of May

  1. #1
    Member Thomas Norman's Avatar
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    Sonnet on the Transit of May

    And so you break, this first May day, profusely
    with bird song and every promise of joy to come.
    All the beauty that resides within the bud
    of leaf and flower unfurl with unstoppable
    haste, for the time of blooming has short memory
    and the filigree bridal gown glows virgin white,
    pure in its transience of youthful vigour,
    beauty and radiance. Eager for eternal prosperity.
    But too soon the petals fall to wither brown,
    ‘neath verdant ageing growth of Summer’s coming.
    And in their place another promise of expectance.
    That sweet swelling fruit from seed to seed develops.
    For May she is today the shyest bride,
    Tomorrow, her paling face from the Mayfly turns.

  2. #2
    This poem has a lot of beautiful, lyrical lines, absolutely lovely poetic language and imagery... I will try to come back soon with a few suggestions to maybe show off the beauty you have created... thanks for a fabulous read...
    She lost herself in the trees,
    among the ever-changing leaves.
    She wept beneath the wild sky
    as stars told stories of ancient times.
    The flowers grew toward her light,
    the river called her name at night.
    She could not live an ordinary life,
    with the mysteries of the universe
    hidden in her eyes....
    Author: Christy Ann Martine

    Death leaves a heartache no one can heal,
    love leaves a memory no one can steal....
    Author unknown.

  3. #3
    I enjoyed the feeling of renewal in your poem, that wonder at the way life springs from the earth anew. The imagery of a virginal bride was perfect and then the turn as life moves on and the initial freshness is lost so soon. That last line is a joy! Nicely done.

  4. #4
    I really liked the way you wove your poem together, almost seamlessly line after line. I'm not sure about the "haste" word where it is, as it feels like a jolt, but maybe that was the way it was intended.

    A great read! Thanks for sharing!

  5. #5
    Member Thomas Norman's Avatar
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    Thank you so much Fire, Jen and Bard for reading and commenting. Your words gladden my heart, I'm delighted you all found the beauty in my poem, it's what I aim for and value most.

    The placing of the word 'haste' was deliberate. The enjambment is not intended to jolt but to emphasize.

    Thank you all for the encouragement ...T.

  6. #6
    A bit archaic for my taste. But it was a good poem overall.

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