Each Other's Canvas - Page 2

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Thread: Each Other's Canvas

  1. #11
    Quite liked it, but agree with Firemajic that I would like to see it spun down a bit-- sometimes less is more.

    Thanks for the read! =}

  2. #12
    I like how this began the candid imagery of 'middle aged fatness' and the title certainly captivated me. I did think ti could do with some more of that real imagery at the bottom, as you don't get a sense of two bodies together. I almost wanted to see some more of the grossness of physical, intimate connection between middle-aged bodies before you move on to the final verse. What do the human 'canvases' look like, to the average person?

  3. #13
    I love this poem, my favourite line was 'In our sexuality our maturity cultivates martial vows yet spoken' was outstanding. Also i am bad with critiques too, but i thought this poem was spectacular.

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