globalization

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Thread: globalization

  1. #1

    globalization

    nothing new
    marching armies
    spread of religion
    now mass media
    all got there admirers
    an I got mine
    rock 'n' roll
    The only one who can heal you is you.




  2. #2
    Hi, esc. This morning I was thinking of writing a poem about a different kind of Globalization, Global Warming. While parked in my car, I saw brittled tree buds, once ready to grow a bit last week.

    I do like your title. It's a massive one and challenge for a poem to live up to. So, I think you need to fatten up your verse a bit. You might want to include economic, social and cultural impact and expand upon what you already have.

    A few suggestions as it stands. I'd move L4 to top as first line, eliminating "now". mass media is the ongoing venue to all which follows


    mass media

    marching armies > now, you've also got the alliterave going on.
    spread of religion > I would say it's about "division in religion" One perk will be an internal rhyme.
    ........................ > more of the topical to follow
    ........................
    ........................
    nothing new


    now

    all got there their admirers
    an I got mine
    rock 'n' roll > what you're really saying here is that rock'n roll is an admire of you.You are one lucky cool dude!

    Maybe go with:

    now
    all got their followers
    but I got
    rock'n roll...
    now think'n bout better times > I'd give thought to a wrap up of some sort.

    esc, your poem has fantastic poetential! I hope you go for a re-write! S~







    Last edited by SilverMoon; April 15th, 2019 at 04:31 AM.
    “The man who cannot visualize a horse galloping on a tomato is an idiot.”
    Andre Breton

  3. #3
    I was going for the juxtaposition of a global perspective and personal pov....look forward to reading your poem
    The only one who can heal you is you.




  4. #4
    look forward to reading your poem
    Thanks, esc. Just not right now. I'm not up for such sadness. That's the way the poem would have to go.
    “The man who cannot visualize a horse galloping on a tomato is an idiot.”
    Andre Breton

  5. #5
    I think this has lots of potential and I would love to read an expanded rewrite. You have a strong, persuasive juxtaposition-- like you mentioned, and I believe that such a duality is expressive of your viewpoint and allows it to seep into the consciousness of the reader.

    Nicely done. Looking forward to a rewrite!

  6. #6
    SM...go with the negative an positive..might work for you..
    BD...I prefer to try an make it shorter..it's a topic most will have a pov about....thanks
    The only one who can heal you is you.




  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by escorial View Post
    nothing new
    marching armies
    spread of religion
    now mass media
    all got there admirers
    an I got mine
    rock 'n' roll
    My first thought was, this is cute. Actually, if you go a bit deeper (if this is your intention) while everything is going on "outside our window" wars, murders, car crashes, and abortions, you're oblivious to all of it as if you're in your own world. Kinda makes me feel that way since I don't own a t.v. and don't care for keeping up with the news. Good poetry makes readers relate; so, it's all in good writing.

    Little spelling hiccup: and I got mine.

    Good job.

  8. #8
    Everyone is experiencing so much but do they take it all in..not watching TV must make globalisation so local..UVA
    The only one who can heal you is you.




  9. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by escorial View Post
    Everyone is experiencing so much but do they take it all in..not watching TV must make globalisation so local..UVA
    I think some of U.S. are genuinely ignorant. We have a lot of militants here so a few in between only go by what someone else told them. Your poem kinda brought that out a bit. That, or you could have said "you can careless.... live for today" type of thing.
    At last! No longer will I live another one's beat and song. Into ashes, I’ll return, and be it held by loved ones. Ceased will life liven me of breathe again to lust. Speak of it no more, of love, to whom, I’ve yet bequeath. ~Carlita

  10. #10
    my will..
    to the unborn
    I leave
    the world
    I knew
    The only one who can heal you is you.




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