Wedding vows for story lines in my fantasy book.


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Thread: Wedding vows for story lines in my fantasy book.

  1. #1

    Wedding vows for story lines in my fantasy book.

    I am struggling with this a bit, so I would like your critique and insight.

    Here is what I have written so far.

    The bride and groom will say these wedding vows to each other simultaneously

    Life is the magic that brought me into the world.
    Fate is the force that brought us together.
    Trust is our bond, love is our guide.
    I pledge to honor you, protect you, be by your side.
    We were two, now we are one.
    From this day until my last breath.

  2. #2
    Wow.
    I just said "I do" twice.
    My wife still tells that story.


    Looks good. Never seen two people recite the same vows simultaneously tho.
    Would be interesting to write.

  3. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by Ralph Rotten View Post
    Wow.
    I just said "I do" twice.
    My wife still tells that story.


    Looks good. Never seen two people recite the same vows simultaneously tho.
    Would be interesting to write.
    Thank you. I didn't create the idea of two people reciting wedding vows simultaneously. Characters do this in Game of Thrones. I have already written the wedding part of my story line, just wanted to spice it up a bit, because it reads kinda boring to me.
    The two characters getting married are not in love with each other. One is doing so out of duty to his father, and the other is using the marriage to gain power, then kill her husband. Adding these wedding vows gives the reader a bit more hatred for the bride (Protagonist) and her subterfuge for a power grab.

  4. #4
    Quote Originally Posted by gene View Post
    ... because it reads kinda boring to me.
    The two characters getting married are not in love with each other. One is doing so out of duty to his father, and the other is using the marriage to gain power...
    Sounds like boring is the right emotion then? It's not so long as to bore the reader too much either, and easy to skim over anyway. Just like a real wedding - or is it just me?

  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by epimetheus View Post
    Sounds like boring is the right emotion then? It's not so long as to bore the reader too much either, and easy to skim over anyway. Just like a real wedding - or is it just me?
    You made me laugh because that is exactly what I was doing writing this part of my book, forcing it, trying to get it over with as fast as I could. But it is a definitive part that has to be there for the story line.
    Actually it is the only part anywhere in my book concerning marriage, because I hate weddings...lol. I would rather go to a funeral then a wedding...

  6. #6
    WF Veteran H.Brown's Avatar
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    I like it gene, its sweet' snappy and romantic even if it isn't meant to by either character, without knowing the story up to this part it comes across as 2 characters in love.
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  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by H.Brown View Post
    I like it gene, its sweet' snappy and romantic even if it isn't meant to by either character, without knowing the story up to this part it comes across as 2 characters in love.
    The post on this one make me laugh for some reason, don't know why....lol
    No the two characters are defiantly not in love, far from it. That's why saying these wedding vows for lack of a better word makes this part of the story ironic.

    Thanks for the reply

  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by gene View Post
    Adding these wedding vows gives the reader a bit more hatred for the bride (Protagonist) and her subterfuge for a power grab.
    Are they standard to the world or personal? If they're just generic I know that I wouldn't hate the bride more for saying them - they're just words without intent. I guess it would have that impact if the groom deeply believed it though?

  9. #9
    I think it is well done. It definitely sounds like a standard vow to me, not personally written, yet still makes the bride seem bad.

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