Tracking Cookies (satire)

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Thread: Tracking Cookies (satire)

  1. #1

    Tracking Cookies (satire)

    “What am I looking at?”
    “That’s at time reference 2:38. You see what happened?”
    “Am I looking at the old guy in the trenchcoat? The one with the bad comb over and orange-ish complexion?”
    “Say, is that…”
    “Yes it is. But for the sake of this new investigation, we’ll refer to him as Subject One.”
    “That’s rather bland.”
    “Yes, but for the transcript, it’s easier than Prime Unindicted Co-Conspirator POTUS Actual.”

    The two men watched the grainy footage in silence. Then, the first man re-wound the tape and started it over.

    “I still don’t know what I’m supposed to see. It looks like Tru-, I mean Subject One is buying Girl Scout cookies.”
    “Look closer.”
    “Yep. I know Tagalongs when I see them.”
    “But, did you see him buy them. Sure, we see him take the box. But we don’t see him pay the girls.”
    “Well, no. But the footage starts after Sub One is already at the table. He could have paid them before he took the box.”
    “Or not. You wanna know what I see? I see a theft. I see a cover-up when he places the box under his coat. I see perjury and lying before Congress when he does not disclose his business dealings. I see tax evasion and fraud.”
    “Oh my God. Seriously? Another investigation?! Over cookies?”
    “No. First, some strategic leaks to the press. Then, fiery charges by some noob congressman…”
    “Sure. Then a Grand Jury. Then a Congressional hearing. Then, maybe we start the investigation.”

    They stand quietly, watching one more play through.

    “It’s never about the crime itself. It’s always the cover-up that gets them.”
    “Yeah, but y’know, this just doesn’t seem right.”
    “How so?”
    “Tagalongs? If you’re going to throw our nation into a Constitutional crisis, he should have at least lifted some Thin Mints or Samoas.”
    “Yes. It’s obvious he’s unbalanced, and dangerous. And we must act.”

    "Now let's all agree, never to be creative again."

  2. #2
    Typo? "That's at time reference."
    Her: I love my computer! All of my friends are in there!
    Me: Yeah, I was thinking the same thing about my freezer...
    Her: What?
    Me: What?

  3. #3
    "We have background on the 'Girl Scout'."
    "Her name is Nadezhda Dzhugashvili. Her friends call her Koba."

    "Now let's all agree, never to be creative again."

  4. #4
    Lol. Tagalongs are delicious. Who the hell eats thin mints? Think this'll be the one and only time I side with "Subject One". Funny stuff though.

  5. #5
    Funny bits of dialogue here. Would like to see an entire story fashioned around this. I think you have the right "cookies" to do so!


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